Wednesday, March 30, 2011

when writing an essay

You know what's a great word? "Assay".

as·say
–verb (used with object)
1. to examine or analyze
2. to judge the quality of; assess; evaluate
3. to try or test; put to trial

Friday, March 25, 2011

Dear Singapore,

It's hit that time of year where every day breaks 90F/33C and, with no A/C in my dorm, I basically want to kill myself.

Tomorrow, I shall remove myself to a study area to write my paper in hopes of not spending the entire day uncomfortable and tired and wanting a nap.

Also, please rain.

Love,
Mei

P.S. It would be great if it could get cool enough that I could wander down around campus to get some porridge without wanting to die. Thanks!

Monday, March 21, 2011

domestic adventures

Saturday was B's birthday, so we went out with some of his non-law friends to drink and celebrate. Blue Jazz was unfortunately (though probably not surprisingly) packed, so we ended up at Brewerkz in Clark Quay. Decent food, good drinks (x-rated sex on the beach! ...thusly rated because it is made from x-rated fusion vodka), and strange but entertaining conversations. A good time overall. Life is better spent not entirely sober, I feel.

Sunday, I met up with G for a delicious lunch. It's actually been a long time since I've had good, freshly-made Chinese stir-fry, because so often I just grab some fast noodles or pre-made 2 veg + 1 meat to eat in the interests of saving time. We had 笋尖肉丝 (bamboo and shredded pork) and 酸辣白菜 (hot & sour stir-fried cabbage) and it was so, so good with a bowl of white rice. I love Chinese food, okay? It is in my roots and in my heritage and in my blood. Also, rice. According to G, Thailand pledged some thousands of pounds of rice to help Japan. Now that is the generous Asian spirit, ha.

I did my presentation for Law & Development in China today - a brief powerpoint talk about my paper topic. It went... Well, let's say that while I don't necessarily have a great fear of public speaking, I am not necessarily good at either. I tend to talk on the fast side anyway, but when I am standing in front of people, I also tend to lose my train of thought, so occasionally there are periods where I have an almost out-of-body experience where I sort of look askance at myself internally and wonder what are those words coming out of my mouth...? It's like a different part of my brain is controlling the sounds I make, disconnected from the part of my brain that does the thinking. Additionally, my active versus passive vocabulary has always been a source of distress. It all leads to inadvertent but interesting faces while I talk, because I am WTF-ing at myself. Ah, rehearsing, this is why they recommend it.

Anyway, it was fine, it is over, and now I hope to be able to focus on writing my paper and getting it done and out of the way. I have many other papers awaiting me... Clearly I anticipate them with much joy, yes?

I am also writing again, for all the good and the bad that it entails. It certainly involves a lot of feelings, that's for sure.

Just browsed one of my usual food blogs and am craving a reuben in ways I can't even put into words. That will have to be one of the items on my to do list when I stop over back in STL in May.

Friday, March 18, 2011

pick yourself up and push yourself forward

I've been feeling like the crap the past few days. Part of it is not sleeping well, which I'm sure contributes to the decline in emotional stability. I'm surviving for the most part; the last thing I want to do is lay the same-old same-old whining on my friends, who've all heard it dozens of times before. Really, one of the worst things I do when I'm feeling bad is allowing myself to wallow. So I am trying to pick myself up and make some productivity happen regardless of how I feel, and that accomplishing of things will eventually lead to a pick up in mood anyway.

Of course the other thing I'm dealing with are the joys of procrastination. What an accurate depiction! Yet so tragic.

For better or worse, I will have to force myself to get some research done this weekend, since I have to put together my powerpoint presentation for class on Monday. For better, actually. Let's get to work on this paper and get it out of the way sooner.

A bit of sociality will also help improve my mood, I think. I managed to Skype with my 宝贝 T today in the best kind of phone-call way, where you say nothing of importance to each other and just enjoy each other's presence for an hour or so. Tomorrow, hopefully something with B and A to celebrate B's birthday. They are cool people. Some of my favorite to hang out with among the law crew; the rest of my time goes to myself and my local friends. It's a nice balance, hopefully. Dinner with family friends J's parents tonight - delicious black pepper crab and salted duck egg crab. Food, you are my favorite, even when you are messy and I've forgotten to take pictures. Hopefully meeting up with F and G and S and S at some point... Well. I'll be around Singapore for the next month. We can make things happen so I can stop being so homesick.

It's not that I miss STL so much that I miss my friends there and the ability to do certain things I can't do so much here: drive and cook, for example.

At least one good thing came out of feeling like crap: I always turn to new music when I feel bad. So now I have more Chinese music. Hurrah, Fan Wei Qi. My style of easy-listening c-pop.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

just keep your head above

You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music that saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far to fall off the earth

The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets they fired at me from a gun
A crack in the armor
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absense of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I swim

You've gotta swim
Through nights that wont end
Swim for your families
Your lovers
Your sisters and brothers
And friends
You've gotta swim
Through wars without cause
Swim for the lost politicians
Who don't see their greed as a flaw

The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets they fired at me from a gun
A crack in the armor
I swim for brighter days
Despite of the absense of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I'm not giving in
I swim

You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's no shame in drifting
Feel the tide shifting
And wait for the spark
You've gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just find the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think


The currents will drag us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim, swim
Just keep your head above
Swim

Monday, March 14, 2011

for all my complaints, the good remains true

In summary, translated from tired chatspeak:

VS: Is your semester abroad as good as you thought it'd be?
Me: Yes. I love it. I'm not loving my lack of future/direction/purpose in life, but that would've been the same even in St. Louis. I would rather have these existential crises here, where I get to fill in the extra time and space with awesome experiences.
VS: Could you work in Singapore?
Me: It is definitely something I am looking into.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

this brief sojourn through the philippines

Philippines, March 9 -13:

Thursday, 3/10
The moon is a Cheshire cat's grin in the sky tonight, bright against the black sky. The stars - well, they exist. Frankly, sometimes I forget, having grown too accustomed to city-living and nightlights. It has been a long time since I've seen so many stars, so bright.

Tonight, D and I are in Coron, Palawan, one of the many islands of the Philippines. It is a mountainous beach town, limestone mountains right up agains the ocean. It reminds me a lot of Nha Trang, actually, but less commercial and packed with tourists. Here, it is still rural countryside, quiet that is broken only by a cacophony of barking dogs and crowing roosters. (Here, the roosters alert you to whatever hour they please. On a side note, cock fighting remains legal in the Philippines, according to D.)



We've come far from the chaos of Manila. When I arrived at Clark Airport yesterday and took an hour and a half bus ride down into Manila, the guy sitting next to me and I made friends and held a number of interesting conversations about Asia, America, culture, internationalism, and a number of other things. One thing I mentioned was that all Asian countryside (through which we were passing at the time) look a little bit the same, and all Asian cities look a little bit the same as well. Manila reminded me a lot of Ho Chi Minh City with its packed streets and endless honking, the people milling carelessly through the jammed cars and motorbikes to cross where they could, like water stubbornly finding its way around a barrier of rocks. The tricycles (motocycles with a side-attached carrier seat) reminded me of the tuktuks in Cambodia (motorcycles with the carrier seat attached behind). But Manila definitely has a personality of its own: loud, poor, busy, struggling, thriving, shopping. Manila is composed of shopping malls everywhere you look, boasting the third and fourth largest malls in the world (behind the largest in Edmonton, Canada and the second-largest in Minnesota, I think).

I met M at Megamall yesterday and we chatted, had dinner, then met up with D, who took me to a friend's house to crash together for the night.

There are street boys on every busy corner, hailing taxis for anyone looking for them for a few pesos - as much as they can get. There are children everywhere, said D, because of the war the Catholic Church (so influential in a country that is overwhelmingly Catholic) wages against the reproductive health system. Condoms? For shame. It was fascinating to see how many people were actively Catholic yesterday, as it was Ash Wednesday and so many people passed by wearing ash crosses on their forehead. And so many more, without their crosses, still consider themselves Catholic. It was, to me, a sort of comparative exercise to Cambodia, where the people were overwhelmingly Buddhist with some Hindu influences. In so many ways we are the same, but in so many ways we are different.

Manila's public transit is a nightmare. The roads are jam-packed at all hours of the day, as are the trains. I have never retrospectively appreciated Singapore's MRTs as much; I will never again compare you to Seoul's and find you lacking! But we survived the MRTs, the trikes, the jeeps, the buses, the cabs (I've basically been on all forms of public transit in the Philippines within the first 24 hours), and made it to the airport to catch a short 40-minute flight to Coron.

We arrived around 1pm, checked in to our hotel, got lunch (chicken adobo, of course I will have pictures ltaer), and started on our city tour. We saw the harbor, the city center, and the cashew harvest factory - cashews are a major export here, a wealth that grows on trees. Plus, they are delicious. We trekked Mount Tapyas, which was really just a 726 step stair climb (or exercise in effusive sweating), and then, after we took a gazillion pictures to prove our success, made it back down to head to the hot springs. Natural salt-water hot springs surroundedby a mangrove forest - it was amazing to soak there after that mountain stair climb.




We soaked, we came back, we showered, we got dinner. We hit up a close-by Western bistro in our exhaustion which can be summed up thus:

1. 50 peso rum and coke - that is approximately $1. Did I get some? You bet I did.

2. SURPRISE MUSHROOOMS IN MY SPAGHETTI MEAT SAUCE. WORST SURPRISE EVER. :(((


Friday, 3/11
I have spent my time in the Philippines doing two things in particular: climbing up a lot of stairs and snorkeling.

Oh, and surviving death!

Well, this is only partly a joke in reference to the tsunami that was supposed to hit the Philippines, but it is morbid and in bad taste, so really it is not entirely a joke. We were lucky to be on the opposite side of the Philippines from where the tsuanami was supposed to hit, so despite being out on the water (in the water) all day, we saw nothing out of the ordinary and are totally safe and sound. D's boyfriend freaked out at her via text a bit, and I had a few people check in with me over email and FB, but all is well.

The other bit of death-defying mostly entailed almost but not quite drowning a few times while snorkeling today. Honestly, we spent more time in the water that out of it and it was for the most part a lot of fun. Every other time I've gone snorkeling, they've given us life jackets or life savers, but I suppose they are not mandatory...as we were not given them today. We survived, though!

In the morning we started our island-hopping tour with a tiny private boat - it was just the two of us, our tour guide, our boat captain and his (I guess) first mate.



It was like the Vietnam island-hopping trip except with much fewere people and with much more time in the water. I felt like I'd been brined, honestly.

We hit the Twin Lagoons first, which are connected with a tiny hole you swim under, only accessible during low tide.



There was a lot of beautiful coral and fish there and it was very quiet. Later we hit a different island, had a delicious spread for lunch (grouper fish, eggplant salsa, grilled pork chops, steamed crab), and lazed around a bit recovering. Afterwards we snorkeled some more, except this time we hit open water, and discovered the difficulties of snorkeling against a current determined to push you away from wherever you're going. For instance, your boat.

A third snorkeling site to see Skeleton Wreck, which was a Japanese ship that had been sunk during WWII; it was covered in coral and barnacles and seaweed. I really wish we had had an underwater camera...

A fourth snorkeling site, and then we turned to another island to make a steep hike up a mountain. This is the view from the top.



We went back down the other side of the mountain and found a lake! 80% freshwater Not so much to look at underwater here except rocks, though there were also shrimp wandering around and that nibbled at my feet and arms when I sat still long enough. A strange tickling sensation. It was cool seeing wild shrimp though (for lack of a better term); I thought of those paintings by Qi Shi and felt at once so cultured and so Chinese. It was a weird moment.

We hiked back up and down the mountain to return to our boat, then spent the last hour of our trip lazing at a tiny beach while D texted with her boyfriend to reassure him that, no, we were not about to be killed by tsunami, seriously. Our tour guide and boat captain were unfazed throughout the whole ordeal in any case. What a catastrophe in Japan though, that earthquake. I hope rescue and recovery go well and that people stay as safe as possible.

Back to the hotel for showers and dinner. We ate at a bamboo grill and had pork sisig, which is chopped up bits of pork face, pork snout, and pork brains! It was actually delicious.




Saturday, 3/12
No big news today and no pics to accompany. D and I crashed hard at 10 last night and woke up around 8 - a beautiful ten hours of sleep. We had breakfast at our hostel and then wandered into town for some coffee. Mmm, cafe mocha. We wandered back to our hostel to pack and check out and hit the airport around 11, since it requires about a forty-five minute drive. However, once we arrived at the airport, we discovered our 2 o'clock flight had been pushed back to 4, because the first flight was delayed and the airline/airport was so tiny that it only had one plane. So we sat and we waited and ate some cookies for lunch.

The flight was super quick - forty minutes and we were back to Manila. Essentially it went up, cruised for approximately fifteen minutes, and went back down. By this time we were starving for an early dinner, so we headed to a Japanese restaurant that D and her boyfriend frequent, and met up with her boyfriend M there. Food? Delicious. I love maki rolls, okay. I don't think I've had sushi since coming abroad, actually. I will have pics of our delicious foods later up on FB. Also miso soup, mm.

So the story of my Saturday night was a long bus ride from Megamall to Clark Airport around 9pm, meaning I arrived at the airport before midnight, when my flight leaves at 7:40am... (The morning bus doesn't leave until 7, and since it takes approximately two hours to get to the airport, I cannot take that one.)

Little are my life complaints though, after seeing the news this morning doing its full report of the impact of the earthquake tsunami (and resulting nuclear power plant issues) in Japan.


Sunday, 3/13
I am back in Singapore and I really don't want to talk about it. Let me shower and pass out, please and thank you.

Thank you D for making my Philippines trip as lovely as it was. ♥

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

这感觉 我不知怎麼形容

Yesterday, I had a really good Skype session with J. We talked about everything and nothing and it was a lot like our conversations back when we hung out in person. It was also just really nice to catch up with him and see how easily we slide back into our friendship. He is a lost cause for initiating contact ever and is horrible at staying in touch with people; it used to bother me but now I think I'm resigned to it and am willing to make that first (second, third) nudge because at least I know he'll always be willing, so long as I make that first step.

This also reminds me that I need to make more of an effort with my other friends though. Ahh, let me email or FB or something! I miss them too.

Last night, had dinner out with L & her new fiancé T, plus A and a bunch of L's other friends. We went for dim sum at Din Tai Fung, basement of Paragon on Orchard. Pretty delicious food, an overall really fun time. Ah, I don't always mind being social, you see!

Today, I'm off to the Philippines and the welcoming arms of M and D! What lies I have told you: the Vietnam/Cambodia travel write-up will clearly not be happening before I go.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

the art of day to day living

Friday, I had dinner out with P & her boyfriend and I love them :> They are so sweet and lots of fun and dinner was delicious! We had chwee kueh (yum) and bah ku teh (I am probably misspelling this) which are, respectively, Singaporean style water dumplings (not dumplings at all) and pork rib tea soup. Soooo good. Then we wandered around Jurong Point a bit, which is this gigantic ass mall full of food and shops and energy and each store blasting pop music (whether American or Chinese or Korean).

This weekend I have been recovering from my cold and am more or less better except for this infernal cough. That's been fun! And by fun I mean I finally gave in and bought some fucking medicine - it is the Singaporean equivalent of Theraflu, I guess. Lemon-flavored powdered medicine to which I add hot water and then drink. So that helped a lot with the decongestion and throat pain, but the cough remains. =__=; Ah well, there is only so much I can do, I guess, other than wait it out. I'm still inhaling water and tea at alarming rates.

I will get my shit together for the Philippines! This will require a bank trip at some point, potentially. Oh god, and packing, I should do that before i leave, yeah? Leaving Wednesday though, so I have some time to start making my lists (lists! my lifesavers!).

Lately, it has been so sticky muggy hot that I kind of want to claw my skin off. My ideal temperature range is from 15 - 23 C (57 - 74 F or thereabouts), so this is not a happy Mei. Having a cold in the summer is the worst and in Singapore it is summer all the fucking time, ergo having a cold in Singapore is the worst. Intolerable. I'll go check on the Philippines' weather now.

GOOD SPORTS NEWS: Carolina beat Duke 81-67 for the ACC regular season championship. ♥ We have come so far this season; it is so lovely. Let's go Heels for March Madness. :) Though to be honest I'm not sure how well I'll be able to keep up here in Singapore. In other fabulous sports news, Liverpool routed Man Utd 3-1 at Anfield yesterday with a Kuyt hat trick. Mmm, lovely. Biggest rivalries and some big wins.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

能不能 给我一分钟 安安静静 跟你沟通

My chronicles of the trip through Vietnam and Cambodia are, in short form, chronicled via photos over on Facebook, part one and part two, for those of you who have access. For those that don't, erm, I am in the middle of uploading the pictures to a public gallery on Picasa and will share that later (sans commentary, unfortunately). Later this week I will attempt to write up a more detailed account of the trip, particularly all the thought-provoking bits and maybe some of the funner bits, if I can dredge up some humor from the midst of my exhaustion.

I am leaving for the Philippines next Wednesday, so I need to get the details sorted out. Mostly I need to figure out how to get from the airport into the city proper and then how to meet up with M and D. After the harrows of that first arrival, I should be fine because I'll be with D and traveling. I confess to being somewhat anxious about this trip because (1) traveling alone, (2) the Philippines are, hmm, not exactly the safest place right now, (3) language barrier potentially, and (4) lack of communicative device with either Mel or Danii. I suppose I can always just use my Singaporean phone because better to rack up some international text charges than be lost forever, right?

I'm a little bit sick - sore throat and a light cough. I expected it, to be honest, since I didn't sleep well for most of the trip, traveling in general is exhausting, and both A and L were getting sick by the end of the trip. I might have pulled through if not for the all-nighter with the papers. So tonight I plan on going to sleep in approximately an hour or so and hopefully I won't get worse than this and will be all better soon.

Plans to meet up with S tomorrow, P on Friday, and G this weekend. Potentially also doing lunch with L and A this week, so that is nice. ♥