don't make me promises; baby you never did know how to keep them well

My entire life is the WC right now. Well, no, not really. But it's the only part I want to talk about right now because if I focus on the other bits, I will just be depressed. Already feeling extremely "meh" physically and mentally and emotionally recently; my appetite has been fucked over and...other things. Whatever. Let's not dwell on the depressing things right now.

Ironically, of course, the first thing that I want to talk about is England's 4-1 loss to Germany.

I can't even be heartbroken because I'm too pissed. The England NT is shit and played like shit. Germany was amazing and I love them. Not only are they cute, they were also incredibly clinical and efficient, so unselfish in their playing - they passed so well and they worked together as a team. Podolski, you are so adorable. :D Özil, Schweinsteiger, Klose, Müller, Neuer, oh man - what an incredible goalkeeper. Even if you did con the ref and admit to it later. Regardless, mad props all around for Germany. They are now #2 team in my heart, right after Spain. I don't know their chances against Argentina but I am cheering for them!

Though, to be fair, the score should have been 4-2. England's second goal was clearly a goal and having it disallowed was pure crap. I still have a lot of pent-up rage about that (fucking ref, fucking FIFA) but I can't say that would have changed the outcome of the game considering how England was playing. (Really awfully.)

Always excepted from my yelling about England is Stevie G. Stevie, I'm sorry your NT sucked but I love you forever and always. ♥ He is so much class, you guys:

“If you look at the game as a whole we’ve been beaten by the better team. Had Frank’s goal counted it could have been a turning point in the game, but we can’t use that as an excuse. They’ve scored four goals and we only got one, which tells its own story.

“We made too many mistakes as a team. Germany were more organised than us and were more clinical. They got in five or six times and scored four goals so you’ve got to give them credit.”

I'm keeping up with the other matches, of course, but nothing will stress me except Spain now. They play Portugal tomorrow and I am already nerve-wracked. I am also hungry so I'm probably going to look into food instead of languishing here with further thoughts about the World Cup. I feel like I keep repeating myself anyway; there's nothing new to report! Or I am just too lazy, which is always a valid possibility.

celebres con el equipo de fútbol español~

Ahh football! There is so much I want to talk about but I guess I shouldn't constantly spam, right? But the Italy v. New Zealand game yesterday! The Brazil v. Côte D'Ivoire game! The fact that Kaká was red-carded - unbelievable. And while part of me enjoyed that (the part that likes drama, especially with teams that are not mine), I have to say: he elbowed the CIV guy in the chest, and the CIV player went down clutching his face. Ehhh. But I'll take it as trade-off for the second goal which was an unbelievably blatant double handball, fuck that shit. What was up with that ref?

Anyway, I was watching the Brazil game in a café with wireless but broken A/C. So the HDTV was nice and a ton of people had their laptops out, which amused me, but it was so disgustingly sweaty and hot. I watched Spain's game today in a pub with A/C, which was infinitely better. I had a work meeting at 11 that I carefully scheduled around the Spain game, haha. I have priorities, can't you tell?

I was so nervous about the Spain v. Honduras game because I always get anxious about my favorites; they managed to pull off the win they needed, which makes me happy! But they really should have scored more (Villa should have definitely not missed that penalty kick, for instance - and he'd have gotten a hat trick too, oh Dahveed). The goal differential is going to be important come the round 3 games; Spain you'll need to defeat Chile and with a good number of goals just to be on the safe side. Switzerland and Honduras - couldn't you tie at 0-0? That would be super, thanks.

In other sports news, Federer almost lost today to an unranked player, dropping the first two sets and winning the fourth set by the skin of his teeth. I'm not going to lie, I laughed. He will never be my favorite, sorry. Roddick did fine, of course, and Nole...had to go to five sets but also pulled off a win. Man. "Latest Wimbledon match of all time", they say: it ended at 11:41pm. I guess Wimbledon likes to end early... Anyway, as always, my heart is for Rafa. :) ¡Vamos Rafa!

And ¡viva España! Happy day~

In non-sports news, I saw Toy Story 3 Friday night and I definitely recommend it. I did not go in expecting to like it considering I was tired of the Toy Story franchise after the first movie, but Pixar managed to not disappoint. They surprised me, in a good way. :) The movie is really touching and sad at bits, but also really, really funny. There is a lot of action/drama that is melodramatic but the movie never takes itself seriously, so it's all in fun. We watched it in a full theater with families and kids, so there was a lot of group laughter and applause, which added to the experience, I think. I'd go see it again, frankly speaking.

The short at the beginning was also incredibly charming and possibly one of my favorites. I do think they got a little heavy-handed with the message (via the radio) when they could've been more subtle...but I guess subtle goes over a lot of people's heads... Anyway! Yes. The entire movie is recommended.

Other movies I am excited about: Despicable Me, Eclipse (I have no shame; I will totally watch and mock), and Tangled! The preview for that was really cute. Disney's take on Rapunzel, with a twist? I am intrigued. Can't think of anything else atm except, oh yes, PLEASE DO NOT PAY MONEY TO WATCH THE LAST AIRBENDER. If you have to ask why...

This is why.

Last round of games for group stages kick off tomorrow! Estoy muy emocionado.

a rollercoaster of emotions for good and bad and football

The past week has been a mix of emotions for me: a lot of anger and a lot excitement. The anger, frustration, and resignation stemmed from a lot of serious discussions on topics like racism, white privilege, and whether (or how) "intent" factors into that. Yet, despite how frustrating and exhausting it can be to engage with people, I have to say in the end I'm really grateful that I have friends willing to talk about these things with me, even if some of them disagree with me or approach the argument from (what I think is) a somewhat skewed or privileged standpoint. Honestly, I know a lot of people who find it easy to say "how awful!" and then move on without really thinking more of the situation or topic and its implications and how it might affect their life.

That made me wonder: Is it unfair of me to want everyone to engage in these topics? Honestly speaking I was not seriously engaging in these issues until this past half year or so (though of course up 'til then I'd always said, "yes I'm liberal, yes I'm pro-whatever, and so on). But now that I've started caring, I sort of wish everyone else would too. I don't necessarily expect them to and I understand that mindset to an extent, since I was stuck there for so long, but it still saddens me. I feel like a lot of people do care about these issues but don't engage. I don't know how to make people want to engage but...that's probably not something another person can force on them. They have to come to that point in perspective on their own.

A friend said to me: "So many people are already talking about this so eloquently and I don't have much to add/I'm afraid I'll bungle my words/thoughts."

I was in this place for a long time; I'm still kind of there, which is why I link people to what other people say so often. But the more we read, the more we understand and are better to formulate and frame our own words and arguments. So that makes me hopeful that I will slowly become more eloquent. And there is nothing wrong with linking to or quoting other people's words either. :)

Related to this, I was reflecting a while back about how we should confront friends/family about these issues and when it's worth it - it's a balance, definitely. I guess for now the best thing we can do is to go by our gut of what is the right thing to do.

But in more lighthearted news, I have been completely swept up in the fever excitement of the 2010 World Cup. It is a lot of fun to care about something the rest of the world is so excited about too!

Some things to know about me & the World Cup:

#1) Everything I know about football I've learned in the past two weeks, since the WC started. My more knowledgeable friends, wikipedia, and random commentary informs most of what I know.

#2) I will use "football" because that is what it is, dammit, and anyway - all the people flailing with me about it are non-USA friends and they all use that term.

#3) An offshoot of above, I don't feel bad at all that the USA is not my first team because why should I have national loyalty in this sport to a country that can't even use the proper term for it and also refuses to understand what the hell the "pitch" is. /JUDGES FOREVER ): But I do still support USMNT because Capt. America is hot, unf. (This is, uh, sarcastic and I am not seriously judging anyone. Just to clarify.)

#4) I am totally, ridiculously, shamelessly shallow about hot footballers. I am all about the shirtlessness and the jersey-swapping, oh yeah. Maybe weirdly, the five teams (England, Spain, Germany, USA, S. Korea) I whole-heartedly support are not chosen on the basis of good looks alone.

#5) Mocking Cristiano Ronaldo is one of my joys in life.

#6) Steven Gerrard is my ONE TRUE LOVE. Even though England is consistently overrated in the WC and did not impress me with their game against the USA and pissed me off badly in their game against Algeria. Somehow I still love them, though I am saddened that they do not live up to expectations of awesomeness.

#7) I tweet like mad during the games. I have basically watched all the games (granted, the super early ones like the one this morning between Slovakia and Paraguay I only catch the last few minutes of because I don't care that much, but I will unfortunately be up at dawn tomorrow to catch Portugal against North Korea). I find myself hilarious. It is really a lie, though.

I will not go into more detail about individual games because there has been a lot of rage and frustration and dramatic cries of "no, why, why are you breaking my heart!" and also lots of cursing at refs. But I will be going to a pub tomorrow to watch the Spain v. Honduras game and cheering madly for España. Let's just leave it at that and hope Spain does not, again, rompa mi corazón.

I will add, though, that it's sort of nice to just be depressed by shallow things like World Cup games for a change instead of DEPRESSED BY HOW MUCH HUMANITY SUCKS.