let's enforce that 2m personal bubble, shall we?

Today I would like to share with you my thoughts on Public Displays of Affection.

Sometimes, I think it's cute--this is in limited quantities of hand-holding and hugs and maybe a quick kiss on the cheek or on the mouth. Something fleeting and small, but indicative of great depth of feeling. That's sweet and makes me want some affection like that for myself.

Sometimes, I think people need to remember that they're in public and that not everyone around them wants to see just How Very Close They Are. You might be sleeping with each other, but I don't care, and I don't want the fact shoved in my face with your groping and your teasing body language and your multitude of endless, sloppy kisses. I'm not that interested in being a voyeur, thanks.

And sometimes, I think people need to get the fuck off each other and get back to studying for their exams. Hey, you want sit down at the table right across from me in Davis? Fine. You want to start making out in front of me for half a freaking hour? I am less okay with this. I am so much less okay with this that I am tempted to look up facts about STIs and read them aloud, or maybe find a painful description of some disgusting medical procedure and read that out loud. If you came to Davis to study, then study, and if you came here to grope each other, FIND ANOTHER FUCKING TABLE. You don't even have to get a room. You just need to remove yourself from my table and from my sight. Find a convenient shelf fifty meters down, if need be, but leave the sanctity of my study table alone.

There might be thoughts about my personal comfort level of physical affection later, when I am less inclined to throw sharp, heavy objects at people whom I hope fail their exams because they will be spending all their time thinking about sucking face and not pre-1600 Russian history or organic chemistry.

Not that I'm vindictive or anything. What gave you that idea?