looking back and looking forward

So it's 2008 now.

This is the year I graduate and, hopefully, attend law school. It's strange to reflect on the past year; as I was doing so, I realized that I have a tendency to separate my years by the academic calendar, rather than the solar calendar. When I said a month ago, for example, that I hadn't seen M since last year, I meant that I hadn't seen her since my sophomore year: May 2007. It hadn't been an actual calendar year, of course.

When I include my spring semester of my sophomore year, and the summer, 2007 seems much longer than it does otherwise. I've grown a lot this year because I think it's one of the things you can't help; you end up a little wiser every year, if only because life happens to you. Life happens and you learn.

Though not perfect by any means, I really think the previous semester has been one of my best. Not academically (there were still two Bs more than I would have liked) or even socially (there could have been a lot less drama in a lot of areas), but overall, it was a good semester. I remember most of it fondly: work was fantastic, because I had fun and grew closer to people and got a raise; I met new friends that I grew immeasurably close to; I had fun with my non-academic time; and I learned how to study. That's probably the most key experience of my semester--learning how to manage my time, how to step out of my comfort zone and talk to professors, how to be more effective when I took notes, how to find a place that maximized my studying capacity...

I pulled a few all-nighters, yes. I stressed out, yes. But I really think I learned how to manage my time well this past semester and that made me happy. Certain sacrifices were required, whether in sleep or in free time or in getting to read books for fun, but I think they were worth it.

There are still a lot of areas in my life and in myself that I would like to improve, but 2007 was good to me. I started off the year in a state of panic, in dismay, but I grew over the summer and throughout the fall semester. I had a wonderful December. I ended the year happy with my growth as a person, which is something that did not come easily to me before. I still have doubts and anxieties and clawing, consuming fear of inadequacy sometimes, but I am much happier with who I am now than I was a year ago.

What else could I ask for? I hope 2008 will bring more of the same.

For all my joking protests, I don't really mind growing up, even if it takes some effort.