Argh, job-hunting woes. All I'm looking for is some part-time summer/fall work, please! Any income would be great at this point. CB&W may hire for the fall ugh. Borders, call me back right now! Maybe B&N is hiring too?
In other news, there is no real news. I am torn between missing people and thinking I should reach out more via phone calls and feeling incredibly introverted and prone to isolation. I'm pretty sure the latter is not really the healthiest of choices, especially in light needing to maintain friendships, but it is so much easier! Why do I always try for the path of least resistance? I know better. I also know I feel much happier/more satisfied/more accomplished when I have worked against the path of least resistance and have actually accomplished something. Still.
I have again lapsed into losing the creative urges, so my word count so far this year is abysmally low. Such is the theme of this summer, I suspect, much unlike last summer. I feel pretty blasé about that - which probably concerns me more than the low word count or lack of writing. Shouldn't I be more upset that I'm not feeling the drive to write that I used? I remember being so unhappy whenever I couldn't write before. Now I sort of just shrug and dismiss it and continue reading/living/whatever.
Some random thoughts on:
Food
I have a love affair with milk tea, man. Not even bubble tea (unless it's the freshly made authentic/homemad kind), but milk tea itself. It would surpass my love of coffee if only it kept me ramped up like coffee does but, well, coffee's effect is probably mostly in my head but, my, those are some mighty powerful effects. This reminds me that I need to just suck it up and go buy a coffeemaker tomorrow.
(In related news, I was thrilled by the Top Chef Masters finale tonight. I think I enjoy it more than regular Top Chef for a number of reasons that I am too lazy to list out at the moment.)
Kpop
My thoughts on kpop are this: apparently SS3 is running from August to next April. I'm in Singapore next spring (Jan-May) and if they happen to have a tour date in Singapore or Malaysia during that time, I will go. Otherwise, whatever. I'm pretty disappointed that the Wonder Girls/2AM concert in St. Louis was cancelled though. Sunye!
Life in general
I keep feeling vaguely stressed (or dissatisfied?) by life and I'm not entirely sure why: maybe it's the lack of job. Maybe it's just this humming under my skin about not feeling productive enough. Let's face the facts: a lifetime of pushing hard and being told to push harder to meet expectations, that you're not meeting your potential, and that you can always (and should always) do better - it's hard to know what it means to "relax". A little part of you's always going to be whispering: hey, do you know all the things you could be doing with this time instead, you procrastinating slacker? Even if another part of you argues that, dude, there's only one life and you need to experience so many aspects of it to truly know what living's like.
/end philosophical meandering into the psyche
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