my life is a series of head/desk

Pop quiz!

1. How does Mei currently feel towards her CivPro exam tomorrow?

(A)
(B)
(C)
(D)
(E) All of the above

The answer is (E) all of the above! I'm sick of school. I just want these exams to be over - I almost want them to be over more than I want to do well. This is a scary thought, because the concept of not doing well (or at least not wanting to do well) is foreign to me. Terrifying, really. It's so unmitigatedly selfish. And I can make up words if I want.

None of this is helped by the fact that I feel fat. Well, no, I toss that word around loosely. I really mean that I feel unhealthy - law school, especially this past month, has been far too much a sedentary lifestyle. I really need to schedule exercise into my life, and stick to it. It's beneficial in so many ways.

Is it weird that I miss M all the time, even though we see each other a lot? They tell me it's not. Maybe it's a good thing. Then again, considering the long summer apart, maybe not.

Speaking of this summer, the interns (from NYU law! Columbia law! Yale law! and Princeton, fuck you all) have been emailing each other, doing basic introductions and discussing the type of work we'll likely be doing during our internship. There is talk of comparative law research and projects and legal work - the finer details escape me at the moment because I'm trying (more or less) to focus on finals; all that's really struck me is god-fucking-damn, these kids (all of them white, or, as J calls them, mini-Minzners, save T, me, and some older Chinese guy) are intensely interested in China and forward-thinking, proactive people. They are going to prepare for work ahead of time.

This makes me feel like crap.

This makes me feel like maybe, outside of finals, I should be doing some pre-internship intensive research into Chinese labor and immigration law. For all that I love China, what do I actually know if its laws?



Good times. Post-finals, I'll have write-on, packing, and extracurricular research to look into. When I go home to NC for a week, I'll have to make sure I see A, V, buy a UNC baseball cap, eat homecooked food, read at least one book for pleasure, pack for China, and continue extracurricular research.

Oh well. For all my griping, it's good to keep in mind that this summer is not meant to be all fun and games just because I'll be in Beijing (and with a friend). There's work to be done! (...but there's also people and places to see! Food to eat! KTV to attend! Somehow, fun will be had, I guarantee.)

Keeping up that sunny forecast, or trying. :)