(a material girl) living in a material world

So I've recently realized that I'm one of Those Girls Female Main Characters Hate. You know how female main characters, heroines, are usually Different? How they're typically not popular (though not always a total outcast), and have all these atypical or underappreciated traits that make them just unique enough or different enough from the crowd to be special? So special that few people recognize just how special they are, until the Right Friend or Right Romantic Interest comes along?

These heroines: they're typically headstrong, or like sports, or just don't get femininity, or have suffered some sort of great loss, or just have some perspective on life that sets them apart. Maybe they love the planet; maybe they're horribly jaded; maybe they're just incredibly smart or thoughtful or profound in ways that makes the rest of the world seem shallow and superficial.

These girls are compared to the minor female characters, one type who's girly, superficial, somewhat frivolous. These characters are not necessarily stupid or bad people: they're just less deep, more shallow, usually caring and good-hearted, just not different enough from the rest of the world to be a main character type. These minor characters are girly girls who like pink and dressing up and make-up; they're the characters who care about fashion and fix up the main character; they're the characters who can walk in heels while the main character can only look on enviously. They're the characters who are somewhat flaky, who don't have a passionate world cause (crusading for human rights or the environment, for instance), who like sappy romantic comedies, not cult films or off-the-beat comedy or bloodbath action.

These are girls who are smart but not going anywhere with it. These are girls who just don't stand out. These are girls who are like so many other girls in the world.

And it's weird to realize that I'm one of these girls.

I think every girl always imagines she's the star of her life; if someone wrote a story, she'd be the main character: the special one, the different one, the one who matters and is somehow different from everyone else.

Sometimes, it's really just not that way. It's true that we're all different from everyone else, that we all have admirable qualities. Being mainstream and conformist and "just like everyone else" doesn't negate the sincerity of your emotions or lessen the importance of your beliefs. It just means...well, it means you're not a main character. You're not that special. You're pretty ordinary, pretty average.

That...I tell myself that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's not. You are better able to relate to others when you have similar experiences. But it's still unsettling, uncomfortable, to come to terms with.

You're not that smart. You're not driven. You're not that profound. You're not that anything.

You love and you care and you worry and you try, just like everyone else. But you're a little ditzy, not as up-to-date on politics as you might like; you're a little shallow, because you like heels and skirts and the color pink; you're a little girly, because you cry at Disney movies and want to have someone to hold you and love you and grow old with you. You're not that independent, or that amazing, or that unique.

But, you think, you're still pretty special - because of all the people who know you and love, despite you not being that Unique and Different Heroine; and because of all the people you know and love in return.

No one is forgettable or replaceable, because of the relationships they've built around them.

So maybe I'm okay with being a material, typical, minor-character kind of girl.

It could be worse.

I could be the Unique Main Character with no friends.