1. I will spend more time wasting time because I am an executive procrastinator who finds five gazillion other things she'd like to do once the pressure is on and she is faced with exams and deadlines. Organize my bookshelf? Plan for the summer? Plot novels I will never write? Start blogging again about pointless things? Let's go!
2. I will eat out a lot more because cooking takes up time I must reserve for procrastinating on studying. Oh my credit card bill of the month will undoubtedly make me sad. See? This is why I need to plan for the summer and the job I must acquire to provide myself an income. These things are important - clearly more important than the more imminent exams.
3. I will hate undergrads with a passion. I know and love my share of them as long as they are not actually anywhere in my proximity. Undergrads I encounter and am required to deal with personally make me wish there were a ditch or moat surrounding the law school into which all undergrads fell. They are crawling all over the place when exams approach, desperate to find some place to study that isn't their dorm or their overcrowded undergrad library. Understandable, of course. To which I say: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SCHOOL, YOUNG DESPICABLE WASTES OF SPACE TAKING UP MY AIR. Or, y'know, with actual curse words substituted in.
4. I will still sleep and eat on a fairly normal basis. This is, I hear and know from experience, somewhat uncommon among the general population come crunch time. But I'm old, all right? I went through my periods of shit-awful no-sleep, too-much-caffeine weeks of all-nighters in college. I burned myself out of them. I just don't think the trade off is worth it: when you're that exhausted and pushing yourself that hard, you're not actually retaining much of what you're trying to cram into your brain. You're much better off making an actual schedule instead of pushing everything off until 3am, getting sleep at night, and, um, eating and drinking like a normal functional human being. Your body will appreciate it and so, probably, will your brain.
5. I will have mood swings. I am having mood swings. Apologies in advance if you have to deal with them except, not really, because I hate everything. Except the few things and people I still love no matter what (it's a short list). But, really, I hate everything. "I wish I knew how to quit you" indeed. My life is reduced to quoting Brokeback Mountain - you realize how sad this is, right?
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