So I have young friends. Sometimes I despair that they make me feel old and sometimes I despair that they are so young and so unlearned to the realities of the world (as compared to my grizzled years of wisdom and experience, of course). Usually these declarations of despair are made in jest or at least not in complete seriousness, because I know the thing about youth is that you get the luxury of growing up. It happens, whether you expect or welcome it.
Sometimes, though, I am profoundly grateful that some of my friends are young, because it gives me hope that they will grow up and learn and grow past certain things like wishing rape on people they don't like.
It's never okay to wish that on anyone, even jokingly. It's not a joke. It's not anywhere near funny.
And it is especially not okay, considering the number of women who have been raped, to wish it on another female. Not that male rape isn't a problem or a crime (it is, and an absolutely under-discussed one at that), but considering that 9/10 rape victims are female, it is a particularly significant issue when people continue perpetuating misogynistic viewpoints.
Please, please figure out that This Is Not Okay.
I said something and the friend in particular did not respond, but I hope it at least got her thinking and that she will be more cautious about saying such things in the future.
Another friend flipped out today when she found out that one of her acquaintances has been raped, making it the third person she knew who had encountered some sort of sexual violence or violation. She was shocked. Understandably so, of course, because it never means as much as it does when it's personal. It hurts more when it strikes close to home and is much scarier - terrifying in its reality.
But the first thing I thought was: You know...rape is not nearly as uncommon as you might think.
The statistics say 1 in 3 women worldwide (1 in 6 in the U.S.) have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime, surviving a completed or attempted rape. That is a pretty staggering figure.
But this friend's reaction made me wonder if hers wasn't just a reflection of the way society at large lives in denial or ignorance about the realities of rape. I know I care and I know people around me who do, but I also know people who don't think about things like this, who probably don't because it's never been relevant for them. It's never become a personal problem until someone - maybe them, maybe a friend, maybe a family member - is raped.
Do we have to wait until that point before we start paying attention and caring?
It's not that I think I'm all-knowing. It's not that I think I know so much more than these friends do. But like another friend, K, said: "I learned a lot about the world after a year or two at college". And it's just that: trying to broaden our minds and worlds to at least be more cognizant of all that we don't know. To understand more how much there is to know.
I'm not trying to judge anyone. I am just hoping people will at least be open to growing past their ignorance and being receptive to all there is out there to learn. And sometimes I am grateful for my young friends because that means they have that much more time to learn.
But you're never too old to keep learning and I hope to, even when I am no longer considered "young".
(statistics from:
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
http://www2.ucsc.edu/rape-prevention/statistics.html)
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