i'm more than a man in a phony red sheet

So there's a facebook group called "we used to be friends until you got a bf/gf" which symbolizes the common problem of friends becoming MIA once they've acquired a significant other. They get so wrapped up in each other that they forget about spending time with friends (i.e., people who aren't the SO). It's natural to an extent, especially in a new relationship, and it's important to spend time together in order to develop that relationship...but it's a common problem because many people cross an invisible line of spending too much time with only the SO. You can't get so involved in a relationship that you forget to be an independent, individual person with your own interests and friends.*

But that's not really the case here, because this particular friend does see people besides the SO: those people just happen all to be the SO's friends, not her friends. There are a number of reasons why this is also understandable, but in the end I still quite feel like it's not quite right. If it's going to be an actual relationship, both people need to recognize and become familiar with the friends and people important in their SO's lives; it can't just be a one-way street.

At least the friend in question still makes some effort to see the friends (friend) most important to her on her own.

...friend. Just one. There is only one person among the ostensible group of friends who is important enough to make an effort to see and talk to when all other time is spent with the SO and the SO's friends. It's saddening, disappointing, and eye-opening. Though I can't say I'm entirely surprised.

I wonder if there's a facebook group called "we used to be roommates until you got a bf/gf".

Though I suppose I shouldn't be complaining about having the apartment to myself. My main struggle is my lack of reliable transportation now - to school or to, you know, buy groceries. Which needs to be done soon. I guess I'll just have to beg favors and pull out the bribes.

I'm not bitter and I do want her to be happy, even if it's turned out that we're not actually close friends. But if I'm speaking truthfully, the relationship has definitely complicated and added stress to my life. I should totally involve myself in a relationship solely for the benefit of a car. /joking

Nothing in the world right now is worth the drama and stress and emotional engagement required of a relationship.


*I should probably qualify this with the fact that my perspective is entirely colored by how I am evidently in no way ready for relationships or commitment because for me, right now, I come first. My family comes first. My friends come first. And oh man do I need alone time more than I need cuddling/sharing/whatever time.