Things that annoy me, #11:
People who douse themselves in cologne, perfume, or aftershave - whatever artificial odor it is, they wear too much of it, it smells terrible, and it gives me a headache.
You're lucky no one happens to be playing with an open flame anywhere near you; you'd probably catch on fire. (Gives new meaning to the phrase 'diaf', doesn't it?)
Though I doubt that would smell any better.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
simple pleasures
Tonight, we had hot pot for dinner! In Korea, they call the dish "shabu shabu", evidently, which is a Japanese term for a Mongolian-style dish. In the end, I've concluded, it All Came From China, like everything else.
I've continued eating like a crazy person these past two days - or maybe just someone with a tapeworm (and not, as has been suggested, someone who's pregnant, har har). I had two dinners last night and two lunches this morning; I've been craving the antipasto salad and personal pizza from school, both which I had today. I think I've finally satisfied the strange, compulsive hunger; I feel full at last, and actually rather...fat. Mentally. Now I feel like I need to drink a lot of milk and orange juice and exercise a lot.
I actually worry a fair bit over my health, because though my immune system generally seems to like me and I rarely even get colds, much less anything more serious, I always feel as if I'm not a particularly healthy person. I don't get enough vitamins, fruit, calcium, potassium, exercise... I probably have far too many carbs and proteins, sadly delicious and Asian, but not the healthiest of foods on which to subsist.
(I just corrected that from "foods to subsist on" because ending sentences with prepositions does bother me, and I physically twitch whenever people say "where you at" because, god, I hate you so much!)
Food aside though, I also feel like I've been sleeping a decent amount lately, but I'm not sure if it's helping me focus better or feel less sore. There is probably always more work I could be doing, but I actually have begun prioritizing sleep fairly highly. I didn't in college, and it was not a fun experience. Older and wiser, I say that getting a good night's sleep will really make a world of difference in your mood, concentration, and overall health. Plus, I think I just love sleep.
This is a pretty boring post about my health habits (or lack thereof)... Let me continue briefly on that note and just add that: my hair is getting long! :D I should probably trim it fairly soon, or something.
I'm sure I have thoughts about law school too, but putting them down usually just stresses me out, because I realize how much work I have to do. I really wish we'd get our Property grade back though, and (I don't know if it's better or worse to want this but) I hope I did better on it than I feared. It would give me a pretty good GPA for the first semester, which would be nice generally and helpful for getting jobs, whether for this summer or next. So, here's hoping I didn't totally fuck up that Property exam...
Here's to less boring posts in the future! I should take up skydiving or some other exciting hobby, maybe try to be internet famous like J...I'd probably have more interesting stories to tell then.
I've continued eating like a crazy person these past two days - or maybe just someone with a tapeworm (and not, as has been suggested, someone who's pregnant, har har). I had two dinners last night and two lunches this morning; I've been craving the antipasto salad and personal pizza from school, both which I had today. I think I've finally satisfied the strange, compulsive hunger; I feel full at last, and actually rather...fat. Mentally. Now I feel like I need to drink a lot of milk and orange juice and exercise a lot.
I actually worry a fair bit over my health, because though my immune system generally seems to like me and I rarely even get colds, much less anything more serious, I always feel as if I'm not a particularly healthy person. I don't get enough vitamins, fruit, calcium, potassium, exercise... I probably have far too many carbs and proteins, sadly delicious and Asian, but not the healthiest of foods on which to subsist.
(I just corrected that from "foods to subsist on" because ending sentences with prepositions does bother me, and I physically twitch whenever people say "where you at" because, god, I hate you so much!)
Food aside though, I also feel like I've been sleeping a decent amount lately, but I'm not sure if it's helping me focus better or feel less sore. There is probably always more work I could be doing, but I actually have begun prioritizing sleep fairly highly. I didn't in college, and it was not a fun experience. Older and wiser, I say that getting a good night's sleep will really make a world of difference in your mood, concentration, and overall health. Plus, I think I just love sleep.
This is a pretty boring post about my health habits (or lack thereof)... Let me continue briefly on that note and just add that: my hair is getting long! :D I should probably trim it fairly soon, or something.
I'm sure I have thoughts about law school too, but putting them down usually just stresses me out, because I realize how much work I have to do. I really wish we'd get our Property grade back though, and (I don't know if it's better or worse to want this but) I hope I did better on it than I feared. It would give me a pretty good GPA for the first semester, which would be nice generally and helpful for getting jobs, whether for this summer or next. So, here's hoping I didn't totally fuck up that Property exam...
Here's to less boring posts in the future! I should take up skydiving or some other exciting hobby, maybe try to be internet famous like J...I'd probably have more interesting stories to tell then.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
my world revolves around food
This is one of those days where I am going to eat six or seven times a day and still be hungry.
I'm not sure if my appetite has increased because of law school (spending seven consecutive hours staring at your casebooks is actually incredibly energy-draining), or perhaps over break (when I had the luxury of my parents feeding me all the time). Either way, I've come back to St. Louis hungry all the time, for everything except Mexican. See, don't get me wrong: I have nothing against Mexican food. I don't hate it or even dislike it. I'll eat it. I will just never really enjoy it, I don't think. It's all those beans and cheese and rice cooked wrong. I'm also just not a fan of flour tortillas. (But a naked burrito from Qdoba generally makes me happy, and oh the salsas are so good.)
But I don't have anything against cheese either: I just spent a good ten minutes googling pictures and recipes of soufflé. Interestingly, the sweet ones just don't interest me as much (I was never a big dessert person, I admit it) as the ones with cheese. Or meat. I do so like my meat. Cheese and spinach just makes me blissful. Now I'm craving a breakfast soufflé, and it's four in the afternoon. This would be a good time to go home and help my roommates cook, wouldn't it? Or it would just make me hungrier. Maybe it's a good time for a snack, and then help cooking...
On the topic of things that are spinach-and-cheese and also delicious, soft pretzels. Barnes & Noble sell them, I think, with feta cheese and spinach, and probably typing up an entire blog post about food is not helping my case of hunger pangs.
Is there a more boring subject I could waste time talking about? Or at least one less food-related...
So reading endless cases in law school can be tedious and very long-winded, but I'm always amused when I find opinions by courts who clearly have a sense of humor (or have just had to put up with way too much stupidity from people at large). There was that opinion J found last semester where the entire thing was written in poetry a la The Night Before Christmas. Then the opinion about Barbie and Aqua's trademark infringment with its song. And today the opinion we read for LP about incompetent lawyers who failed to cite properly in their appellate briefs and wrote in crayon. (I still can't gauge whether or not that was serious; I sincerely hope not, because just. What. I can't even comprehend what would possess a practicing attorney to do that.)
...well, I'm still hungry.
I'm not sure if my appetite has increased because of law school (spending seven consecutive hours staring at your casebooks is actually incredibly energy-draining), or perhaps over break (when I had the luxury of my parents feeding me all the time). Either way, I've come back to St. Louis hungry all the time, for everything except Mexican. See, don't get me wrong: I have nothing against Mexican food. I don't hate it or even dislike it. I'll eat it. I will just never really enjoy it, I don't think. It's all those beans and cheese and rice cooked wrong. I'm also just not a fan of flour tortillas. (But a naked burrito from Qdoba generally makes me happy, and oh the salsas are so good.)
But I don't have anything against cheese either: I just spent a good ten minutes googling pictures and recipes of soufflé. Interestingly, the sweet ones just don't interest me as much (I was never a big dessert person, I admit it) as the ones with cheese. Or meat. I do so like my meat. Cheese and spinach just makes me blissful. Now I'm craving a breakfast soufflé, and it's four in the afternoon. This would be a good time to go home and help my roommates cook, wouldn't it? Or it would just make me hungrier. Maybe it's a good time for a snack, and then help cooking...
On the topic of things that are spinach-and-cheese and also delicious, soft pretzels. Barnes & Noble sell them, I think, with feta cheese and spinach, and probably typing up an entire blog post about food is not helping my case of hunger pangs.
Is there a more boring subject I could waste time talking about? Or at least one less food-related...
So reading endless cases in law school can be tedious and very long-winded, but I'm always amused when I find opinions by courts who clearly have a sense of humor (or have just had to put up with way too much stupidity from people at large). There was that opinion J found last semester where the entire thing was written in poetry a la The Night Before Christmas. Then the opinion about Barbie and Aqua's trademark infringment with its song. And today the opinion we read for LP about incompetent lawyers who failed to cite properly in their appellate briefs and wrote in crayon. (I still can't gauge whether or not that was serious; I sincerely hope not, because just. What. I can't even comprehend what would possess a practicing attorney to do that.)
...well, I'm still hungry.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
no need to complicate our time
These past few days I haven't found it in me to have the right words to describe my life. I wrote last week and it came so easily, effortless creativity that made me stop and think: I love this. I love to write. I do it well. I'm not the best, god no (how I could ever think I was even close with all the friends I have whose talent continue to amaze me), and of course I need a lot of work and improvement, but this writing thing...I couldn't exist without it.
I don't mean blogging. I mean writing. There are days, weeks, when I miss it so much it's like a physical ache. It discomfits me not having put feelings and ideas and style onto the page, with the right words strung together in the right way, saying the right thing for once, when so often I feel tongue-tied and the very opposite of eloquent.
I love writing and I'm afraid law school stifles that. I'm afraid my own fears stifle that.
Have you ever read something you've written and cried over it? It made me feel incredibly pretentious, as if I thought I was such a good writer that I could stir even myself, as if my writing had such raw, powerful emotion.
(I like to think my writing makes people feel, but who has really read my writing?)
I don't think I'm a very good blogger, however. I don't think I am very good at chronicling my life and making it entertaining, witty, poignant. I am too busy trying to live my life and not let it pass me by to translate it into words for other people. I am too busy making the memory to reflect on the memory, at least until long afterwards, in hindsight.
I am better at translating other people's lives into something readable, however. I wonder why my own is such a challenge. Perhaps that is something I should try this year, to chronicle my life in an interesting way.
They tell me what I write about China is strongest, in vivid color and emotion, that it reflects my love for it. I wonder if I could do this for anything (a form of lying, because it is China I love, not just anything, not just anywhere), and it makes me want to try. Orchestrated lies, and all that.
Sometimes I wonder where I might be if I were braver.
I don't mean blogging. I mean writing. There are days, weeks, when I miss it so much it's like a physical ache. It discomfits me not having put feelings and ideas and style onto the page, with the right words strung together in the right way, saying the right thing for once, when so often I feel tongue-tied and the very opposite of eloquent.
I love writing and I'm afraid law school stifles that. I'm afraid my own fears stifle that.
Have you ever read something you've written and cried over it? It made me feel incredibly pretentious, as if I thought I was such a good writer that I could stir even myself, as if my writing had such raw, powerful emotion.
(I like to think my writing makes people feel, but who has really read my writing?)
I don't think I'm a very good blogger, however. I don't think I am very good at chronicling my life and making it entertaining, witty, poignant. I am too busy trying to live my life and not let it pass me by to translate it into words for other people. I am too busy making the memory to reflect on the memory, at least until long afterwards, in hindsight.
I am better at translating other people's lives into something readable, however. I wonder why my own is such a challenge. Perhaps that is something I should try this year, to chronicle my life in an interesting way.
They tell me what I write about China is strongest, in vivid color and emotion, that it reflects my love for it. I wonder if I could do this for anything (a form of lying, because it is China I love, not just anything, not just anywhere), and it makes me want to try. Orchestrated lies, and all that.
Sometimes I wonder where I might be if I were braver.
Friday, January 2, 2009
to a new year, but the same old you (just wiser)
New Year's Resolutions:
It's okay to have doubts and to be unsure, but don't let them get in the way of living your life to the fullest. Remember to try your best, no matter what. Remember to smile and to make the most out of what you have. Make memories. Laugh. Work hard and study hard, but take the time to reach out and connect with people who aren't right there next to you. Remember that you're loved. Remember that, even when you feel your absolute worst, when you feel defeated and inadequate and lost, you are still one of the luckiest people in the world because of your family, your friends, your life.
Talk to people if you're afraid. Be reasonable. Don't be distracted by petty things; don't let the little things get you down.
Grow up this year. Take control of your life and make it yours. Make it something to be proud of: healthy, hardworking, happy.
Take care of yourself.
It's okay to have doubts and to be unsure, but don't let them get in the way of living your life to the fullest. Remember to try your best, no matter what. Remember to smile and to make the most out of what you have. Make memories. Laugh. Work hard and study hard, but take the time to reach out and connect with people who aren't right there next to you. Remember that you're loved. Remember that, even when you feel your absolute worst, when you feel defeated and inadequate and lost, you are still one of the luckiest people in the world because of your family, your friends, your life.
Talk to people if you're afraid. Be reasonable. Don't be distracted by petty things; don't let the little things get you down.
Grow up this year. Take control of your life and make it yours. Make it something to be proud of: healthy, hardworking, happy.
Take care of yourself.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy 2009: reflection on 2008
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I traveled internationally by myself! I went to Korea! And I suppose things that don't quite count: I graduated college and went to law school. Oh, I also worked in a Chinese restaurant - that was new. Oh, and tried some girly cocktails and like Midori Sour and Fuzzy Navel. :) I think I did lots of new things this year, which is always nice.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
...what were my new years' resolutions? I should, um, go look.
-get into law school (check!)
-figure out and implement a proper study schedule (I guess this worked...)
-call home at least once a week (I'm pretty sure this didn't happen, haha)
-dance (occasionally)
-have a good last semester in college (some parts ended up more stressful than I would've liked, but generally yes)
-learn enough Korean as to not be completely lost in Korea! (not as much as I would've liked, but MY & I weren't completely lost! so this counts as a success)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. For which I'm grateful.
5. What countries did you visit?
China! Korea! :D
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A chance to meet up with CD and LZ and maybe even KZ and SZ (long shot, I think). The first two look plausible though (okay the first one is guaranteed, pretty much). Maybe talk to VS on the phone, if she ever gets one. :) Go to Africa! Ooh, maybe go to Hollywood Bowl? I think I had a pretty good 2008, honestly, but I'd never turn down more opportunities in 2009 for any variety of new things.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 08, 2008 - China's Olympic moment. ♥
November 06, 2008 - TC. :)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Making it through my first semester of law school without dying. Honestly. And hopefully not failing, either. It was tough at times, especially towards the end of the semester. I had moments of panic and anxiety. Overall, though, it was a learning experience (in more than just the classroom), and the people there (and everywhere) helped. ♥
9. What was your biggest failure?
I-I don't know. Probably my grades. Let me think more on this.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My archives say I was sick on New Year's Day of 2008, and I think I might've gotten a little sick during my May finals. I've been fine the rest of the year, though! Just occasionally stressed out and sometimes totally exhausted, but no real illness or injury. :)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Three copies of SJM's album! No, no, just kidding, seriously. Best purchase was probably my adorably tiny Asus EEE PC. :) And my shiny little external harddrive.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
LP, TC, JC, VS, LZ, KT, CM, AH, SC. You've all stood out in my minds for various reasons this past year and I'm grateful. For little things and little moments, for laughter and fun and friendship. For support and love. ♥ Be with me again next year, okay? I will do my best to be there for everyone (above included) too.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine, mostly. TC's confused me for a while. And I've had a few moments of sceptical doubt regarding certain people's behaviors, but it hasn't lasted.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Law school. No kidding, you guys? Then rent, food, clothes. Sounds practical, doesn't it? I hope so - I need to be far more careful with money this next semester.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
SJM. ♥ All year long, but especially over the summer. Super Show DVD~ Mostly fandom stuff including recent Big Bang and Wonder Girls performances. Non-fandom stuff, totally the trip to China and Korea with MY. Memories forever!
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
光荣 by BOBO, lulz. The song that played on repeat as MY & I stood around in the blinding sun for three hours at the BOBO fanmeet. Also, Beijing Welcomes You/北京欢迎你 and, a little bit, SJM's U and ME(迷).
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, I think. I have a lot to be grateful for this year.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter! :D By, like, 3 pounds! This is good news, you guys. One day I will actually break 100lbs for good.
iii. richer or poorer? Ahahaha, so much poorer. Oh loans.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spend time with MY. :( Talk on the phone with important people. Kept in better touch with ES and others. Spend more time with CS and LY, even. I can't wish that I'd studied more because I studied so much - but I think I'm always going to feel like I could've done more. And I did have fun with people in STL. :) Karaoke + drinking + eating + Rock Band + cooking~!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been insecure about stupid things like what goes on with people on LJ.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent Christmas with my family at home in NC, then went to the Zhaos' house for dinner. Watched Prince Caspian there...and oh didn't that lead to all sorts of horrible things. ;D
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I may have.
23. How many one-night stands?
None, thanks.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
We-ell, I still don't really watch TV. But what I've caught, I do enjoy Cash Cab and Top Chef. I think I still like Jeopardy better though. :3 I'm a traditionalist sometimes, haha.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.
26. What was the best book you read?
...I had time to read books this year? Well, maybe earlier on in the year. Hmm, oh, probably The King's Own then, just because it was fantastic out of the, like, 6 new books I read this year.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
...does SJM count? Otherwise, I've got nothing for you.
28. What did you want and get?
Graduation! Trip to China & Korea (and seeing MY again)! Random merchandise and clothes there! Er - a new laptop, an external. Calvin & Hobbes books. Friends in STL. ♥
29. What did you want and not get?
Straight As in May. :( Probably didn't get straight As in law school either (let's not joke). Ugh, I'll be happy with the median, please please please.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
...so I have this thing where I don't really watch movies. Did I watch movies? What movies came out this year? Can I say Prince Caspian? I'm, um, going to go ahead and say that.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21 and I was in STL! I had a dinner with some people from my section at school but we didn't really get to know each other. RM and LP and JZ were there! But I abandoned them to go hang out with CS and LY. Ah, but things worked out.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Straight As. Well, I don't know. Other than that, I don't think I have much to complain about. I don't think there could be any one thing that would have made my life that much better. (Unless maybe going to the May Hollywood Bowl, lol.)
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Fobby cute on some days and hopeless casual on other days, because it was cold and I was lazy.
34. What kept you sane?
SJM, LP, LZ, TC.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Okay, throughout most of the year, it was Lee Donghae. ♥ Ask me again now and I would have a harder time answering that question. (Also, Skandar Keynes makes me *__*.)
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Olympics. And that shouldn't have been political. To be honest, I never got that stirred up about the presidential race because I knew Obama was going to win. It was kind of obvious he would, even if it wasn't the landslide it ended up being.
37. Who did you miss?
Family. MY. JC. AY. KT, CW, VP.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Did we meet this year, VS? I guess you count. ♥ You win only because I've known you longer, otherwise I'd have a hard time deciding between, umm, certain others.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
For some reason, people like me. So don't get so wrapped up in my insecurities that I end up pushing them away. Also: remember to keep trying.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This is such a retarded question. Like your entire year of experiences, good and bad, can be summed up by a few words? I don't think so.
But here's some good advice:
笑一笑没有什么大不了 just smile and there's nothing you can't overcome
--Rainbow's Smile by Cyndi Wang (Smiling Pasta OST)
Happy New Year! ♥
I traveled internationally by myself! I went to Korea! And I suppose things that don't quite count: I graduated college and went to law school. Oh, I also worked in a Chinese restaurant - that was new. Oh, and tried some girly cocktails and like Midori Sour and Fuzzy Navel. :) I think I did lots of new things this year, which is always nice.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
...what were my new years' resolutions? I should, um, go look.
-get into law school (check!)
-figure out and implement a proper study schedule (I guess this worked...)
-call home at least once a week (I'm pretty sure this didn't happen, haha)
-dance (occasionally)
-have a good last semester in college (some parts ended up more stressful than I would've liked, but generally yes)
-learn enough Korean as to not be completely lost in Korea! (not as much as I would've liked, but MY & I weren't completely lost! so this counts as a success)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. For which I'm grateful.
5. What countries did you visit?
China! Korea! :D
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A chance to meet up with CD and LZ and maybe even KZ and SZ (long shot, I think). The first two look plausible though (okay the first one is guaranteed, pretty much). Maybe talk to VS on the phone, if she ever gets one. :) Go to Africa! Ooh, maybe go to Hollywood Bowl? I think I had a pretty good 2008, honestly, but I'd never turn down more opportunities in 2009 for any variety of new things.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 08, 2008 - China's Olympic moment. ♥
November 06, 2008 - TC. :)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Making it through my first semester of law school without dying. Honestly. And hopefully not failing, either. It was tough at times, especially towards the end of the semester. I had moments of panic and anxiety. Overall, though, it was a learning experience (in more than just the classroom), and the people there (and everywhere) helped. ♥
9. What was your biggest failure?
I-I don't know. Probably my grades. Let me think more on this.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My archives say I was sick on New Year's Day of 2008, and I think I might've gotten a little sick during my May finals. I've been fine the rest of the year, though! Just occasionally stressed out and sometimes totally exhausted, but no real illness or injury. :)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Three copies of SJM's album! No, no, just kidding, seriously. Best purchase was probably my adorably tiny Asus EEE PC. :) And my shiny little external harddrive.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
LP, TC, JC, VS, LZ, KT, CM, AH, SC. You've all stood out in my minds for various reasons this past year and I'm grateful. For little things and little moments, for laughter and fun and friendship. For support and love. ♥ Be with me again next year, okay? I will do my best to be there for everyone (above included) too.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine, mostly. TC's confused me for a while. And I've had a few moments of sceptical doubt regarding certain people's behaviors, but it hasn't lasted.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Law school. No kidding, you guys? Then rent, food, clothes. Sounds practical, doesn't it? I hope so - I need to be far more careful with money this next semester.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
SJM. ♥ All year long, but especially over the summer. Super Show DVD~ Mostly fandom stuff including recent Big Bang and Wonder Girls performances. Non-fandom stuff, totally the trip to China and Korea with MY. Memories forever!
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
光荣 by BOBO, lulz. The song that played on repeat as MY & I stood around in the blinding sun for three hours at the BOBO fanmeet. Also, Beijing Welcomes You/北京欢迎你 and, a little bit, SJM's U and ME(迷).
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, I think. I have a lot to be grateful for this year.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter! :D By, like, 3 pounds! This is good news, you guys. One day I will actually break 100lbs for good.
iii. richer or poorer? Ahahaha, so much poorer. Oh loans.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spend time with MY. :( Talk on the phone with important people. Kept in better touch with ES and others. Spend more time with CS and LY, even. I can't wish that I'd studied more because I studied so much - but I think I'm always going to feel like I could've done more. And I did have fun with people in STL. :) Karaoke + drinking + eating + Rock Band + cooking~!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been insecure about stupid things like what goes on with people on LJ.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent Christmas with my family at home in NC, then went to the Zhaos' house for dinner. Watched Prince Caspian there...and oh didn't that lead to all sorts of horrible things. ;D
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I may have.
23. How many one-night stands?
None, thanks.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
We-ell, I still don't really watch TV. But what I've caught, I do enjoy Cash Cab and Top Chef. I think I still like Jeopardy better though. :3 I'm a traditionalist sometimes, haha.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.
26. What was the best book you read?
...I had time to read books this year? Well, maybe earlier on in the year. Hmm, oh, probably The King's Own then, just because it was fantastic out of the, like, 6 new books I read this year.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
...does SJM count? Otherwise, I've got nothing for you.
28. What did you want and get?
Graduation! Trip to China & Korea (and seeing MY again)! Random merchandise and clothes there! Er - a new laptop, an external. Calvin & Hobbes books. Friends in STL. ♥
29. What did you want and not get?
Straight As in May. :( Probably didn't get straight As in law school either (let's not joke). Ugh, I'll be happy with the median, please please please.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
...so I have this thing where I don't really watch movies. Did I watch movies? What movies came out this year? Can I say Prince Caspian? I'm, um, going to go ahead and say that.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21 and I was in STL! I had a dinner with some people from my section at school but we didn't really get to know each other. RM and LP and JZ were there! But I abandoned them to go hang out with CS and LY. Ah, but things worked out.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Straight As. Well, I don't know. Other than that, I don't think I have much to complain about. I don't think there could be any one thing that would have made my life that much better. (Unless maybe going to the May Hollywood Bowl, lol.)
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Fobby cute on some days and hopeless casual on other days, because it was cold and I was lazy.
34. What kept you sane?
SJM, LP, LZ, TC.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Okay, throughout most of the year, it was Lee Donghae. ♥ Ask me again now and I would have a harder time answering that question. (Also, Skandar Keynes makes me *__*.)
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Olympics. And that shouldn't have been political. To be honest, I never got that stirred up about the presidential race because I knew Obama was going to win. It was kind of obvious he would, even if it wasn't the landslide it ended up being.
37. Who did you miss?
Family. MY. JC. AY. KT, CW, VP.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Did we meet this year, VS? I guess you count. ♥ You win only because I've known you longer, otherwise I'd have a hard time deciding between, umm, certain others.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
For some reason, people like me. So don't get so wrapped up in my insecurities that I end up pushing them away. Also: remember to keep trying.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This is such a retarded question. Like your entire year of experiences, good and bad, can be summed up by a few words? I don't think so.
But here's some good advice:
笑一笑没有什么大不了 just smile and there's nothing you can't overcome
--Rainbow's Smile by Cyndi Wang (Smiling Pasta OST)
Happy New Year! ♥
Monday, December 29, 2008
hindsight is 20/20
Tonight I went and looked over my xanga. I haven't posted there in over two years - my last post was in June 2006. My close friends, too, have abandoned it as a blog for the same two or three years. It's strange to see the person I was then - to be honest, I'm not quite sure I'm proud of who I was. I'm not sure I liked who I was. I wonder if, in two or three years, I'll look back again and sigh over the person I am now. I hope not. I'd like to think I've grown up in college, and in law school. Perhaps I haven't, not as much as I would've liked to - but what can I do about it?
I want to be happy. I'm pretty sure no one enjoys being emo - overwrought and insecure and unhappy. I'm pretty sure no one enjoys doubting and fearing and worrying over who they are, or what their future will be. I want to come to terms with the person I am, but I want to constantly seek improvement, too. I want to change for the better; I want to remember to try - and do it. I may not succeed in everything I do, but I want to try.
A said she'd never have children - but she was barely in high school when she said it. She's changed her mind; she says to me now, when I bring up the past, "Please don't hold me to what I said back then, jeez. I was still a kid. I didn't know what I was talking about." It's true, isn't it? We learn as we grow - about life and about ourselves (who we are, what we want).
J was not as worldly then as she was now. She hadn't yet gotten into tennis or fútbol. She was still so young, yet still so mature, and she hadn't yet done any of the immense growing up and into a person I like and love and feel like I don't quite know. I miss her in so many ways.
S is pretty much still the same - still passionate about life, about her friends and sports and her faith. She seems to take the best out of all her experiences, seems to realize that "these are the best days of my life" and makes the most out of them. I envy her a little, the way she lives and loves, almost effortlessly and with such pleasure.
The other S I've lost and I regret that. I don't miss her anymore, though. It might have been for the best, that things turn out this way. I wonder if I should try to mend things, or if there's anything left to mend. It wouldn't hurt to say "hi, I hope you're well", would it?
E, I've known for so long, and how we've changed. For better or for worse, we are different from who we were three years ago - still, though, we are the same people we have always been. We will always feel too much, and worry too much, and care so much. Life has put us in different circumstances, and we've grown to perhaps value different things, but you are still you, and I'm still me, and I think we will always have that in common.
These people have been so important to me. I hope not to lose them in the future. M, L, I will cling to them. They've fought for me (in their own ways) and I will fight for them too. Other M, R, I've put through a lot, but they're still there. That means a lot.
Now I have a new host of friends, letters, people to hold close. T, other T, L, other J, another S - from different parts of my life, they've impacted me this year, and probably for my future.
I hope I grow into someone I like, not just now, but in two or three years looking back.
I want to be happy. I'm pretty sure no one enjoys being emo - overwrought and insecure and unhappy. I'm pretty sure no one enjoys doubting and fearing and worrying over who they are, or what their future will be. I want to come to terms with the person I am, but I want to constantly seek improvement, too. I want to change for the better; I want to remember to try - and do it. I may not succeed in everything I do, but I want to try.
A said she'd never have children - but she was barely in high school when she said it. She's changed her mind; she says to me now, when I bring up the past, "Please don't hold me to what I said back then, jeez. I was still a kid. I didn't know what I was talking about." It's true, isn't it? We learn as we grow - about life and about ourselves (who we are, what we want).
J was not as worldly then as she was now. She hadn't yet gotten into tennis or fútbol. She was still so young, yet still so mature, and she hadn't yet done any of the immense growing up and into a person I like and love and feel like I don't quite know. I miss her in so many ways.
S is pretty much still the same - still passionate about life, about her friends and sports and her faith. She seems to take the best out of all her experiences, seems to realize that "these are the best days of my life" and makes the most out of them. I envy her a little, the way she lives and loves, almost effortlessly and with such pleasure.
The other S I've lost and I regret that. I don't miss her anymore, though. It might have been for the best, that things turn out this way. I wonder if I should try to mend things, or if there's anything left to mend. It wouldn't hurt to say "hi, I hope you're well", would it?
E, I've known for so long, and how we've changed. For better or for worse, we are different from who we were three years ago - still, though, we are the same people we have always been. We will always feel too much, and worry too much, and care so much. Life has put us in different circumstances, and we've grown to perhaps value different things, but you are still you, and I'm still me, and I think we will always have that in common.
These people have been so important to me. I hope not to lose them in the future. M, L, I will cling to them. They've fought for me (in their own ways) and I will fight for them too. Other M, R, I've put through a lot, but they're still there. That means a lot.
Now I have a new host of friends, letters, people to hold close. T, other T, L, other J, another S - from different parts of my life, they've impacted me this year, and probably for my future.
I hope I grow into someone I like, not just now, but in two or three years looking back.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
carolina priceless gem, receive all praises thine
You just finished sending out your college applications and you've already heard back from some places -- you're a finalist for the Morehead scholarship at UNC. That's awesome -- fantastic! Except, of course, you really, really doesn't want to go there.
I wouldn't mind that so much (or really, at all) except that when you talk about how much you don't want to go to UNC, you say it with such...contempt and disgust. I know you can do better. You really want to go to better universities in bigger cities, and with all you've done in your international school, you can probably get in.
There's just something about the way you talk about UNC vs. the other schools that sort of rubs me the wrong way (e.g., NYU is your first choice because it's in "hello, NEW YORK," like NYC is the end all and be all of places to live). Part of it may be that I feel patronized, like you think that I wasn't smart enough to go elsewhere or that I was stupid for choosing to go to UNC, in North Carolina of all places! I admit I have my big-city love (Beijing ♥, Seoul ♥), but I've realized since I moved to St. Louis that NC is actually home for me now, despite all the moving around I did as a kid, and that I love NC.
I love North Carolina, and it really isn't all that horrific a place to live.
You lived here for a good few years too - but I guess you never had the same love for it, since you moved and spent your high school years in S, a very modern city with all the big-city conveniences. I'm sure that's why you're prone to like big cities like NYC. Which is fine. I can understand that. I just wish you didn't treat going to UNC as a last-ditch, absolutely worst-case ew-how-will-I-be-able-to-stand-it option. It's not that bad. Everyone I know who goes there, or went there, loves it.
It ranks pretty high among the national universities; among the public universities, it's in the top five. For value, it's number one. It has the number one basketball team in the country; has a great journalism school and very respectable business and law schools. Its medical school and dental school rank pretty high too. It has a beautiful campus and some great professors, including Nobel Prize winners. It's diverse and active and surrounded by a artsy, interesting, liberal town. Franklin Street will always be legendary. There may not be as many big-city opportunities in Chapel Hill as there would be in New York or DC, but it's the definitive college town experience. Would that be so awful to experience after high school in a big city and a most likely post-graduation job in a big city? Try some diversity on for taste.
Even if it's not for you, could you at least try not to talk about it like you'd die if you had to go? Show a little respect for those of us who went there and loved it.
I will always be glad I went to UNC, no matter where I am now or where I will end up.
So please. 别太小看它.
I wouldn't mind that so much (or really, at all) except that when you talk about how much you don't want to go to UNC, you say it with such...contempt and disgust. I know you can do better. You really want to go to better universities in bigger cities, and with all you've done in your international school, you can probably get in.
There's just something about the way you talk about UNC vs. the other schools that sort of rubs me the wrong way (e.g., NYU is your first choice because it's in "hello, NEW YORK," like NYC is the end all and be all of places to live). Part of it may be that I feel patronized, like you think that I wasn't smart enough to go elsewhere or that I was stupid for choosing to go to UNC, in North Carolina of all places! I admit I have my big-city love (Beijing ♥, Seoul ♥), but I've realized since I moved to St. Louis that NC is actually home for me now, despite all the moving around I did as a kid, and that I love NC.
I love North Carolina, and it really isn't all that horrific a place to live.
You lived here for a good few years too - but I guess you never had the same love for it, since you moved and spent your high school years in S, a very modern city with all the big-city conveniences. I'm sure that's why you're prone to like big cities like NYC. Which is fine. I can understand that. I just wish you didn't treat going to UNC as a last-ditch, absolutely worst-case ew-how-will-I-be-able-to-stand-it option. It's not that bad. Everyone I know who goes there, or went there, loves it.
It ranks pretty high among the national universities; among the public universities, it's in the top five. For value, it's number one. It has the number one basketball team in the country; has a great journalism school and very respectable business and law schools. Its medical school and dental school rank pretty high too. It has a beautiful campus and some great professors, including Nobel Prize winners. It's diverse and active and surrounded by a artsy, interesting, liberal town. Franklin Street will always be legendary. There may not be as many big-city opportunities in Chapel Hill as there would be in New York or DC, but it's the definitive college town experience. Would that be so awful to experience after high school in a big city and a most likely post-graduation job in a big city? Try some diversity on for taste.
Even if it's not for you, could you at least try not to talk about it like you'd die if you had to go? Show a little respect for those of us who went there and loved it.
I will always be glad I went to UNC, no matter where I am now or where I will end up.
So please. 别太小看它.
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