So tempted to buy shoes today. Or a Nook. See, Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals work because the sales are so great you feel like you're losing out if you don't take advantage of them, which causes you to spend money you might not have otherwise. Money you maybe don't have to spend at the moment...
I'll just debate with myself over these shoes all day. They would go with half my wardrobe. Those are some pretty versatile shoes for $50 + shipping, even if they are 4.5 inch heels.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
spiced apple cider on my mind
Today was freezing but gorgeous. Despite the cold, rainy morning, the sun came out in the afternoon and really highlighted all the gorgeous red leaves that came into being after this cold snap. Fall might be edging spring out as my favorite season.
Sometimes I miss Singapore terribly, but I have to admit that I'd miss fall - the weather, the fashion, the warm delicious food memories associated with it (pumpkin spice, hot cocoa, roasted nuts, apple cider). It wouldn't be the same in an equatorial environment.
In between the same old same old tedium that is job applications, I have found myself reading more, following more TV shows, and attempting to be wrangle this whole adult life in small increments. Stress stays with me and manifests itself in poor sleep and unfortunate dreams, but I try to balance it out with coffee, good food, and excellent friends. And, you know, all the other distractions that live on the internet.
I bought some brie, fig preserves, and crackers today. Bliss in my mouth. I hope M can manage a visit next weekend; I'd love to feed her and take her back to UNC, where we can revisit our misspent youth, reminisce about the good times, and bemoan how old we are. (I like to see her miserable, what can I say?)
I baked cookies today and plan for a sweet potato casserole on Monday. I don't mind a life driven by food plans; those are the best kinds. Just like everyone knows travel plans should always be made in accordance with food priorities.
As for Snowtober - everything is a sign of the imminent apocalypse to me, but particularly the unexpected weather pitfalls.
Sometimes I miss Singapore terribly, but I have to admit that I'd miss fall - the weather, the fashion, the warm delicious food memories associated with it (pumpkin spice, hot cocoa, roasted nuts, apple cider). It wouldn't be the same in an equatorial environment.
In between the same old same old tedium that is job applications, I have found myself reading more, following more TV shows, and attempting to be wrangle this whole adult life in small increments. Stress stays with me and manifests itself in poor sleep and unfortunate dreams, but I try to balance it out with coffee, good food, and excellent friends. And, you know, all the other distractions that live on the internet.
I bought some brie, fig preserves, and crackers today. Bliss in my mouth. I hope M can manage a visit next weekend; I'd love to feed her and take her back to UNC, where we can revisit our misspent youth, reminisce about the good times, and bemoan how old we are. (I like to see her miserable, what can I say?)
I baked cookies today and plan for a sweet potato casserole on Monday. I don't mind a life driven by food plans; those are the best kinds. Just like everyone knows travel plans should always be made in accordance with food priorities.
As for Snowtober - everything is a sign of the imminent apocalypse to me, but particularly the unexpected weather pitfalls.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
people and things
Mark Salling is from Texas. And, unexpectedly, really into ornithology.
C was right: They do make 'em hotter in Texas. Tall, buff, and ridiculously appealing, or so goes the pattern of TV actors (whose shows I hate) I've crushed on.
In other news, I baked lemon bars last night and I am quite happy with them: they are tart and sweet and buttery. Never substitute margarine for butter when you bake; it's not worth the sacrifice of taste! In any case, if I'm stress baking sweets, we can assume I no longer have "healthy eating" as one of my top concerns.
Next up is raspberry thumbprint cookies, which require even more butter, and those amazing Pillsbury cookies that are seasonally-themed with little pictures on them. They are the plainest things, but they are unbelievably tasty. And easy. I am gaining weight just thinking about them, honestly. This is why I need to live around friends: so I can foist off baked goods on them and not eat everything on my own.
My plan for the night is to do something fun: catch up on last week's episode of Hawaii Five-0, read this Discworld book while plotting to acquire the newest (Snuff, out in 4 days!), or, you know, eat some lemon bars and look at pictures of Mark Salling being hot (all of them) while bemoaning to myself how much I really hate his show (a lot).
C was right: They do make 'em hotter in Texas. Tall, buff, and ridiculously appealing, or so goes the pattern of TV actors (whose shows I hate) I've crushed on.
In other news, I baked lemon bars last night and I am quite happy with them: they are tart and sweet and buttery. Never substitute margarine for butter when you bake; it's not worth the sacrifice of taste! In any case, if I'm stress baking sweets, we can assume I no longer have "healthy eating" as one of my top concerns.
Next up is raspberry thumbprint cookies, which require even more butter, and those amazing Pillsbury cookies that are seasonally-themed with little pictures on them. They are the plainest things, but they are unbelievably tasty. And easy. I am gaining weight just thinking about them, honestly. This is why I need to live around friends: so I can foist off baked goods on them and not eat everything on my own.
My plan for the night is to do something fun: catch up on last week's episode of Hawaii Five-0, read this Discworld book while plotting to acquire the newest (Snuff, out in 4 days!), or, you know, eat some lemon bars and look at pictures of Mark Salling being hot (all of them) while bemoaning to myself how much I really hate his show (a lot).
Friday, October 7, 2011
I hate my hair, and other metaphors
"I hate my hair!" I told M.
"...why?"
"It's a metaphor for my life," I said, tongue-in-cheek. "And, well, also I have split ends and need a trim."
The thing is: my hair totally is a metaphor for my life. Let me explain.
It's getting long and straggly; I am getting old and fraying at the edges. Whatever style it used to have, it has grown out of and I have no idea what the hell it's doing now except growing longer; I have no idea what I'm doing with my life but am stumbling forward without a plan all the same because, well, objects in motions tend to stay in motion. My hair is like an object in motion. Metaphorically!
The red from the dye has long faded and is now a dirty, diseased brown color with roots growing out on top. There are three options: 1) let it grow out bi-colored; 2) re-dye the entire thing a color that doesn't make my skin look ridiculously sallow; or 3) re-dye the entire thing black so the roots can grow out in peace and secret.
The issues with options 2 and 3, however, mostly revolve around cost. Dyeing is not generally a cheap venture; even with Asian stylists who don't charge an arm and leg like salons do, it's upward of $60+. (And that was my great St. Louis deal! I miss you, David from Hong Kong. He gave me custom color jobs.)
The metaphor here: the little luxuries in life have to be put on the back-burner when one is jobless and only dreaming of a steady income. Don't spend what you don't have; hell, don't spend what you have, at least not on things you can afford to live without. It's practical, logical, reasonable - and it's depressing, isn't it?
I don't love a lot about my body but my hair came closest to being my vanity. I joked around in high school of doing shampoo commercials when I grew up. I had strong, healthy, shiny, soft hair. I could scrub shampoo through it and make orgasmic noises with the best of them! My future back-up plan was set.
It's superficial (so superficial, I know) but I look at my hair these days and say, only half-joking, "I hate my hair." I wouldn't go so far to say it's painful, but it's certainly disappointing.
I suppose I really mean, I am dissatisfied with something I used to take vain pride in and am frustrated that it was pointless and that there doesn't seem to be any way for me to fix that at the moment.
Like I said: I have split ends and I need a trim.
"...why?"
"It's a metaphor for my life," I said, tongue-in-cheek. "And, well, also I have split ends and need a trim."
The thing is: my hair totally is a metaphor for my life. Let me explain.
It's getting long and straggly; I am getting old and fraying at the edges. Whatever style it used to have, it has grown out of and I have no idea what the hell it's doing now except growing longer; I have no idea what I'm doing with my life but am stumbling forward without a plan all the same because, well, objects in motions tend to stay in motion. My hair is like an object in motion. Metaphorically!
The red from the dye has long faded and is now a dirty, diseased brown color with roots growing out on top. There are three options: 1) let it grow out bi-colored; 2) re-dye the entire thing a color that doesn't make my skin look ridiculously sallow; or 3) re-dye the entire thing black so the roots can grow out in peace and secret.
The issues with options 2 and 3, however, mostly revolve around cost. Dyeing is not generally a cheap venture; even with Asian stylists who don't charge an arm and leg like salons do, it's upward of $60+. (And that was my great St. Louis deal! I miss you, David from Hong Kong. He gave me custom color jobs.)
The metaphor here: the little luxuries in life have to be put on the back-burner when one is jobless and only dreaming of a steady income. Don't spend what you don't have; hell, don't spend what you have, at least not on things you can afford to live without. It's practical, logical, reasonable - and it's depressing, isn't it?
I don't love a lot about my body but my hair came closest to being my vanity. I joked around in high school of doing shampoo commercials when I grew up. I had strong, healthy, shiny, soft hair. I could scrub shampoo through it and make orgasmic noises with the best of them! My future back-up plan was set.
It's superficial (so superficial, I know) but I look at my hair these days and say, only half-joking, "I hate my hair." I wouldn't go so far to say it's painful, but it's certainly disappointing.
I suppose I really mean, I am dissatisfied with something I used to take vain pride in and am frustrated that it was pointless and that there doesn't seem to be any way for me to fix that at the moment.
Like I said: I have split ends and I need a trim.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
I remember you as you were in the last autumn
Last night, I made beef stew from scratch! Well, in all honesty, it was more a hybrid between traditional (Western) beef stew (no tomatoes, though) and (Asian) beef noodle soup. Spicy and delicious! I am pleased, though I still think my mom's version is better. Must learn her secret...
Painted my nails yesterday, too, painstakingly attempting stripes - slow work and painfully difficult with tape. One day I will just acquire the proper tools - brushes and pens and whatnot. For now, I repainted them all blue in Zoya Yummy and they're kind of boring and not particularly autumn-themed, but they will suffice.
Also caught up with this season's HIMYM and H50, which continues to make me lol re: plot. Just--everything. /eyeroll People are still hot, though, so I'm good with watching. Needs more Kono and, oh god, fewer white people though. So many white guest stars, why. I do like the new governor though!
Had dinner Thursday with P & R up in Chapel Hill and that was nice; catching up with people in general is nice, even if as we slowly grow older it becomes less of a "daily contact" thing and more of a "once a month" thing.
Not too many updates on the job-hunting front, but I am seriously looking at apartments in DC now. So there's that. Terrifying in its way, but necessary, I think.
Painted my nails yesterday, too, painstakingly attempting stripes - slow work and painfully difficult with tape. One day I will just acquire the proper tools - brushes and pens and whatnot. For now, I repainted them all blue in Zoya Yummy and they're kind of boring and not particularly autumn-themed, but they will suffice.
Also caught up with this season's HIMYM and H50, which continues to make me lol re: plot. Just--everything. /eyeroll People are still hot, though, so I'm good with watching. Needs more Kono and, oh god, fewer white people though. So many white guest stars, why. I do like the new governor though!
Had dinner Thursday with P & R up in Chapel Hill and that was nice; catching up with people in general is nice, even if as we slowly grow older it becomes less of a "daily contact" thing and more of a "once a month" thing.
Not too many updates on the job-hunting front, but I am seriously looking at apartments in DC now. So there's that. Terrifying in its way, but necessary, I think.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
I like for you to be still - Pablo Neruda
I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
and you hear me from far away and my voice does not touch you.
It seems as hough your eyes had flown away
and it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth.
Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente,
y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te toca.
Parece que los ojos se te hubieran volado
y parece que un beso te cerrara la boca.
As all things are filled with my soul
you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream,
and you are like the word Melancholy.
Como todas las cosas están llenas de mi alma
emerges de las coasas, llena del alma mía.
Mariposa de sueño, te pareces a mi alma,
y te pareces a la palabra melancolía.
I like for you to be still, and you seem far away.
It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing like a dove.
And you hear me from far away, and my vvoice does not reach you:
Let me come to be still in your silence.
Me gustas cuando callas y estás como distante.
Y estás como quejándote, mariposa en arrullo.
Y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te alcanza:
Déjame que me calle con el silencia tuyo.
And let me talk to you with your silence
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.
You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.
Your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.
Déjame que te hable también con tu silencio
claro como una lámpara, simple como un anillo.
Eres como la noche, callada y constelada.
Tu silencio es de estrella, tan lejano y sencillo.
I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
distant and full of sorrow as though you had died.
One word then, one smile, is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it's not true.
Me gustas cuando callas poraue estás como ausente
Distante y dolorosa como si hubieras muerto.
Una palabra entonces, una sonrisa bastan.
Y estoy alegre, alegre de que no sea cierto.
and you hear me from far away and my voice does not touch you.
It seems as hough your eyes had flown away
and it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth.
Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente,
y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te toca.
Parece que los ojos se te hubieran volado
y parece que un beso te cerrara la boca.
As all things are filled with my soul
you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream,
and you are like the word Melancholy.
Como todas las cosas están llenas de mi alma
emerges de las coasas, llena del alma mía.
Mariposa de sueño, te pareces a mi alma,
y te pareces a la palabra melancolía.
I like for you to be still, and you seem far away.
It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing like a dove.
And you hear me from far away, and my vvoice does not reach you:
Let me come to be still in your silence.
Me gustas cuando callas y estás como distante.
Y estás como quejándote, mariposa en arrullo.
Y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te alcanza:
Déjame que me calle con el silencia tuyo.
And let me talk to you with your silence
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.
You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.
Your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.
Déjame que te hable también con tu silencio
claro como una lámpara, simple como un anillo.
Eres como la noche, callada y constelada.
Tu silencio es de estrella, tan lejano y sencillo.
I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
distant and full of sorrow as though you had died.
One word then, one smile, is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it's not true.
Me gustas cuando callas poraue estás como ausente
Distante y dolorosa como si hubieras muerto.
Una palabra entonces, una sonrisa bastan.
Y estoy alegre, alegre de que no sea cierto.
Monday, September 5, 2011
september heralds books, scones, and tv shows
I was sick but now I am mostly better! I still have to face the hard facts though: I am a terrible blogger. These days, I'm too easily distracted by everything. (Perhaps it is early onset Alzheimer's here, because mentally I'm 60 and preparing for my predicted death next year.) (What a terrible joke. Pterry, I'm sorry.)
Speaking of good Sir Pterry, a new Discworld book is due out this October! And it's a mystery-based Vimes book! I am particularly thrilled since I've been rereading Discworld and mysteries lately (Christie & Conan Doyle).
Other things I've done lately is bake! Orange-zested scones and banana nut bread on my own, and contributed to out-of-season zong zi and in-season moon cakes. There are pictures, but I am lazy.
Along with reading and baking, the watching of TV shows: I watched all of this summer's Top Chef Masters but have not yet gotten to Top Chef Desserts. I started watching the Korean variety show Running Man, which is hysterically funny. Strange, but addicting. Wiki gives a brief synopsis of it, but it sounds much weirder and more boring than the actual show is. Of course I started watching it after hearing the hype and because there were idols I was interested in guesting in a few episodes; from there on, though, you really start appreciating the main cast, too. So much!
It's a bit unsettling that it's the first September since, uh, I was five or six that I haven't been in school. Hearing about other people starting classes and returning to the uni schedule is really strange when I continue to sit at home. I wish I could say it felt freeing, but without a job, mostly it feels unanchored and terrifying. I am good with routine, don't you know? I like schedules and lists and things to do. I hate this uncertainty that is my future. I hate that it's another reminder that my RL is here and so far I am sucking at it. I have such big dreams of when I have a job and will be able to live in an apartment again - the cooking and cleaning and decorating I'd do!
...alas, reality intrudes. I'll try not to dwell on it too long though, and just focus on the job hunt. With some time in between for reading and baking and watching shows, of course.
Speaking of good Sir Pterry, a new Discworld book is due out this October! And it's a mystery-based Vimes book! I am particularly thrilled since I've been rereading Discworld and mysteries lately (Christie & Conan Doyle).
Other things I've done lately is bake! Orange-zested scones and banana nut bread on my own, and contributed to out-of-season zong zi and in-season moon cakes. There are pictures, but I am lazy.
Along with reading and baking, the watching of TV shows: I watched all of this summer's Top Chef Masters but have not yet gotten to Top Chef Desserts. I started watching the Korean variety show Running Man, which is hysterically funny. Strange, but addicting. Wiki gives a brief synopsis of it, but it sounds much weirder and more boring than the actual show is. Of course I started watching it after hearing the hype and because there were idols I was interested in guesting in a few episodes; from there on, though, you really start appreciating the main cast, too. So much!
It's a bit unsettling that it's the first September since, uh, I was five or six that I haven't been in school. Hearing about other people starting classes and returning to the uni schedule is really strange when I continue to sit at home. I wish I could say it felt freeing, but without a job, mostly it feels unanchored and terrifying. I am good with routine, don't you know? I like schedules and lists and things to do. I hate this uncertainty that is my future. I hate that it's another reminder that my RL is here and so far I am sucking at it. I have such big dreams of when I have a job and will be able to live in an apartment again - the cooking and cleaning and decorating I'd do!
...alas, reality intrudes. I'll try not to dwell on it too long though, and just focus on the job hunt. With some time in between for reading and baking and watching shows, of course.
Friday, August 5, 2011
adventures in job-hunting
Job-hunting now, post-bar, so I may still not be around much, unless I am trying to escape from the depressing tedium to bemoan the fact that I still feel unqualified for everything.
Sad story from post-bar: while I was in NY, there was an episode of Law and Order or a Lifetime movie or something on TV where a suspect gets questioned in a room by the investigating officers who arrested him. They then step out, mentioning something about the suspect's attorney. Mei's first thought: OH NO, THAT IS SO ILLEGAL, YOU CAN'T QUESTION A SUSPECT WITHOUT HIS COUNSEL PRESENT IF YOU KNOW HE HAS COUNSEL FOR THAT MATTER NOOO. Someone then tried to argue with me about how Miranda rights required explicit invocation now and that mere silence was not enough. I only gave him a Look and thought, layman, you don't think I know that? Because this is not a violation of his Miranda rights, this is a violation of NY's indelible right to counsel, guaranteed by NY's 6th Amendment, which offers even greater protection than the U.S. 5th Amendment. I know because I just took a two-day test on it..
And then I was promptly horrified by myself. Don't be one of those unbearably smug lawyer types, Mei!
Cheers, though. Everyone says the bar exam is the most law you'll ever know - I will now commence slowly (quickly?) forgetting everything!
(1) Jobs that require you to tell them your salary requirements. What. I don't know! However much you want to pay me so I can eke out a living? A million dollars a year? What is a reasonable request, how much does it affect whether they'll give you the job, oh god too much stress.
(2) I've forgotten how to write cover letters. D: It's essentially a talk up of all your skills and experiences to make you sound like the pinnacle of perfection that everyone is desperate to have! ...which sadly does not explain why you are currently jobless, huh. (No, really, I feel so artificial every time I have to embellish my accomplishments with grandiose prose. It's been beat into me to Be Humble. And, anyway, anyone with Asian parents in the U.S. probably grew up hearing about how Everyone Else's Kid Is So Much Better Than You.) So...how crass it to just write HIRE ME HIRE ME HIRE ME I'LL DO ANYTHING and then sign it?
(3) Do you think it makes a significant difference if I apply to DC jobs with a local address or an NC address? The government refuses to pay relocation costs flat-out, so I feel like they shouldn't discriminate based on location. /contemplates
(4) Senator jobs! Republicans offer to pay. Democrats apparently want you to subsist off the glory of serving alone. Now the question becomes: what morals are you not willing to compromise for the sake ofgold, gold, goldan income?
(5) The only legal jobs in Singapore require 2+ years of prior experience. The only legal jobs in Hong Kong are for corporate/funds/banking lawyers. The only legal jobs in China are for Chinese attorneys fluent in Mandarin. There are no legal jobs in Taiwan. Well - fine! I didn't like you either! (Not that I could've honestly expected to get anywhere without guanxi.)
(6) Why doesn't your job site support Chrome?! /grumbles and breaks out the never-used Firefox
(7) There are people who advertise lawyer positions on Craigslist? Like, actual firms? I am seriously eyeing all of them with suspicion. Don't you, like, have a website for that? Or...approximately 100 different job websites?
(8) The eternal Catch-22 question of how do I get a job when every job requires experience and no job wants to hire me and give me some experience?
Sad story from post-bar: while I was in NY, there was an episode of Law and Order or a Lifetime movie or something on TV where a suspect gets questioned in a room by the investigating officers who arrested him. They then step out, mentioning something about the suspect's attorney. Mei's first thought: OH NO, THAT IS SO ILLEGAL, YOU CAN'T QUESTION A SUSPECT WITHOUT HIS COUNSEL PRESENT IF YOU KNOW HE HAS COUNSEL FOR THAT MATTER NOOO. Someone then tried to argue with me about how Miranda rights required explicit invocation now and that mere silence was not enough. I only gave him a Look and thought, layman, you don't think I know that? Because this is not a violation of his Miranda rights, this is a violation of NY's indelible right to counsel, guaranteed by NY's 6th Amendment, which offers even greater protection than the U.S. 5th Amendment. I know because I just took a two-day test on it..
And then I was promptly horrified by myself. Don't be one of those unbearably smug lawyer types, Mei!
Cheers, though. Everyone says the bar exam is the most law you'll ever know - I will now commence slowly (quickly?) forgetting everything!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
welcome to your professional life
Done with the bar exam for better or for worse - at least I don't have to think about it anymore. Flew in to NYC last night - good to see Aunt Joan and Keith, kind of awkward that his kids are in the house too. It's okay; we'll probably mutually ignore each other for the most part. I'm around today but out on Friday and Saturday, and around Sunday, so it shouldn't be too bad.
Pretty much exhausted and don't really feel like talking to people, sadly including my typical go-tos like V and S and L and whatnot. Talked with random bar takers at the test site and at the airport - we commiserated. It's a bonding experience! Talked a bit to M and TT and D, hopefully whom I will all see on Friday, and TC too. May be out late with them Friday, so may not come back to Flushing if I can make it happen somehow. Closer to NJ from Manhattan, right? :/
Ummm, no, I really have nothing more to say. Terribly unmotivated. Once I get home, I'll begin the job-hunting and AGA research; right now I just feel tired and like I'm still waiting for my life to wake up and start.
The family friends I stayed with in Buffalo had a daughter named Leila, not quite two yet, who is positively adorable. A complete sweetheart. I've forgotten how much I've missed young kids and spending time with them. She's half and really pretty. Keith and Joan have a dog, Dominio, and two cats, Hope and Love. Love is a kitten still - tiny. They're pretty sweet too and good-natured. Not prone to temper or hyperactiveness. It' a good change from home; I needed a break from the norm.
Hopefully the day out with people tomorrow is good, and the day out with S too. I've missed seeing people.
Pretty much exhausted and don't really feel like talking to people, sadly including my typical go-tos like V and S and L and whatnot. Talked with random bar takers at the test site and at the airport - we commiserated. It's a bonding experience! Talked a bit to M and TT and D, hopefully whom I will all see on Friday, and TC too. May be out late with them Friday, so may not come back to Flushing if I can make it happen somehow. Closer to NJ from Manhattan, right? :/
Ummm, no, I really have nothing more to say. Terribly unmotivated. Once I get home, I'll begin the job-hunting and AGA research; right now I just feel tired and like I'm still waiting for my life to wake up and start.
The family friends I stayed with in Buffalo had a daughter named Leila, not quite two yet, who is positively adorable. A complete sweetheart. I've forgotten how much I've missed young kids and spending time with them. She's half and really pretty. Keith and Joan have a dog, Dominio, and two cats, Hope and Love. Love is a kitten still - tiny. They're pretty sweet too and good-natured. Not prone to temper or hyperactiveness. It' a good change from home; I needed a break from the norm.
Hopefully the day out with people tomorrow is good, and the day out with S too. I've missed seeing people.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
海浪
I shudder when I look through archives of my old blogs and see the way I used to be so - young, I suppose, back in the day. Maybe I shouldn't blame myself for that, but it makes me wonder if I'll look back at how I am now in a few years and shudder still.
Apparently July is a tough month for me, generally speaking, over the years. This year, I'm worried my ~depression~ will interfere with my bar review - mostly in that it strips away the time I need to study with periods of listlessness/hopelessness/pointlessness. And other -esses.
Friendships always fuck me up more than any other type of relationship. Perhaps it is a sign I am not committed enough to those other relationships, or a sign that I am not yet ready for them. Somehow, I am not shocked. Sometimes (more often now) I wonder whether I even want that kind of relationship. What do I want? Ah, the essential question.
In happier news, I made garlic fried rice this morning and breakfast sausages. Cooking, like cleaning, makes me feel much more productive than studying ever will, since you reap the benefits of instant and visible results. Unfortunately, cooking and cleaning will probably not help me pass the bar...
Apparently July is a tough month for me, generally speaking, over the years. This year, I'm worried my ~depression~ will interfere with my bar review - mostly in that it strips away the time I need to study with periods of listlessness/hopelessness/pointlessness. And other -esses.
Friendships always fuck me up more than any other type of relationship. Perhaps it is a sign I am not committed enough to those other relationships, or a sign that I am not yet ready for them. Somehow, I am not shocked. Sometimes (more often now) I wonder whether I even want that kind of relationship. What do I want? Ah, the essential question.
In happier news, I made garlic fried rice this morning and breakfast sausages. Cooking, like cleaning, makes me feel much more productive than studying ever will, since you reap the benefits of instant and visible results. Unfortunately, cooking and cleaning will probably not help me pass the bar...
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
with stable ground beneath your feet
G left today and while I'm sad she had to go because we actually had a really good time together, I'm also a bit relieved because I got nothing done for the bar while she was here. It was a trade-off I was willing to make (happy to make!) but it means I have to handle more stress and tighter deadlines now. I have to make up my sleep deficit and study deficit. It will be okay though - I am not exactly looking forward to it, but I am fairly equable about it.
Google+ looks quite shiny and lovely and better than FB, but I admit I am inclined to like Google products. I don't have the time to play around on it now though, and I really question whether I need yet another social forum in which to draw circles and define levels of interaction. My compartmentalizing skills may be capable of bearing the burden, but it gets weary all the same. Another thought to put off until after the bar. Everything is getting put off until after the bar!
I really wish I had more time to read books (alas) or exercise (hah) or research for AGA. I feel bad that I am not doing more. After tomorrow's simulated MBE, I'll shoot A an email. I pretty much won't be good at staying in touch for the next 3 weeks though. 3 weeks, oh god.
Google+ looks quite shiny and lovely and better than FB, but I admit I am inclined to like Google products. I don't have the time to play around on it now though, and I really question whether I need yet another social forum in which to draw circles and define levels of interaction. My compartmentalizing skills may be capable of bearing the burden, but it gets weary all the same. Another thought to put off until after the bar. Everything is getting put off until after the bar!
I really wish I had more time to read books (alas) or exercise (hah) or research for AGA. I feel bad that I am not doing more. After tomorrow's simulated MBE, I'll shoot A an email. I pretty much won't be good at staying in touch for the next 3 weeks though. 3 weeks, oh god.
pathetic
You're like the fucking ex I never fucking had. The one who's ruined everything because I can't do anything without remembering how we used to hate this or like that or talk about whatever. Everything is tied up in memories of you that just piss me off because it's not fair that I have to reap the consequences of a break-up to a relationship that never actually existed. It's not fair you fucking forced that break-up, that you chose it. The best part is that none of this is probably affecting you because evidently it was an easy decision for you to just let me go. 你就这样放手了吗？有那么容易吗？我和你的关系就这样切了，是不是？You never made the first move as friends; obviously I can't expect you'll ever make the first move to apologize and reconcile, if you even are sorry, which at this point I highly doubt.
Well, congratulations. You have officially been the worst break-up and the only one the fuck me up this long afterwards, which is quite a feat considering we never dated.
操你妈，活该。
I fucking miss you. Do you care?
Well, congratulations. You have officially been the worst break-up and the only one the fuck me up this long afterwards, which is quite a feat considering we never dated.
操你妈，活该。
I fucking miss you. Do you care?
Sunday, July 3, 2011
the logic that lies therein
Beach was mostly fun - a little stressful, but trips that require balancing of time/interests/personalities of different people who are not so much mutual friends but mutual acquaintances through one friend tend to be, but overall good. Sunny, sunny, sunny, hot and busy. People everywhere being bad drivers and dudebros on the beach (latter was great beyond measure; the former, not so much). Seafood for lunch and dinner was delicious! Sparklers in the parking lot was classy but celebratory.
Fun times! Tomorrow is for resting in and being anguished while watching tennis, then following it with soothing videos of hilarious things, like Eddie Izzard skits and various things on YT and potentially some quality time with T-Hard and Cpine. G's visit has been great so far with a particular emphasis on cpop/jpop/90s boy band nostalgia and lol oh god our love for Jay Chou. ♥
Fun times! Tomorrow is for resting in and being anguished while watching tennis, then following it with soothing videos of hilarious things, like Eddie Izzard skits and various things on YT and potentially some quality time with T-Hard and Cpine. G's visit has been great so far with a particular emphasis on cpop/jpop/90s boy band nostalgia and lol oh god our love for Jay Chou. ♥
Thursday, June 30, 2011
time, could you give me more of yours?
Sports:
Federer lost to Tsonga from two sets up! Murray, Nole, and Rafa into the semis at Wimbledon though. I'm sorry for all of the UK who have their hopes pinned on Murray but, dude, I will never pull for him to beat Rafa. At least I can root for Djokovic - knowing he will attain that World No. 1 spot either within a few days or a few weeks. Way to go, Nole. :) You've worked hard and you deserve it. (But my heart first to Rafa, simepre.) Good luck tomorrow!
Bar:
Wills is a mix of all right and terrible. It all makes me want to cry a bit though. Essay and practice MBE next week, and a long holiday weekend during which I will not have much time or heart to review or study. Oh I should though, I should.
Procrastination:
Finished at last my Agatha Christie novel and the first Chrestomanci Chronicles volume - the two books I've been working through very slowly in the past few weeks between bar review and other procrastination. I also have all these movies I have no attention span to watch - maybe I'll finally watch X-Men: First Class or Thor or something when G is here. I could get her to watch STXI with me. We'll see! She gets her tomorrow night and that should be fun. ♥
Oh dear god, it's the last day of June.
Federer lost to Tsonga from two sets up! Murray, Nole, and Rafa into the semis at Wimbledon though. I'm sorry for all of the UK who have their hopes pinned on Murray but, dude, I will never pull for him to beat Rafa. At least I can root for Djokovic - knowing he will attain that World No. 1 spot either within a few days or a few weeks. Way to go, Nole. :) You've worked hard and you deserve it. (But my heart first to Rafa, simepre.) Good luck tomorrow!
Bar:
Wills is a mix of all right and terrible. It all makes me want to cry a bit though. Essay and practice MBE next week, and a long holiday weekend during which I will not have much time or heart to review or study. Oh I should though, I should.
Procrastination:
Finished at last my Agatha Christie novel and the first Chrestomanci Chronicles volume - the two books I've been working through very slowly in the past few weeks between bar review and other procrastination. I also have all these movies I have no attention span to watch - maybe I'll finally watch X-Men: First Class or Thor or something when G is here. I could get her to watch STXI with me. We'll see! She gets her tomorrow night and that should be fun. ♥
Oh dear god, it's the last day of June.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
reading list
Huh. I've inadvertently turned my FB wall into a political statement/bulletin board. I don't know if I ever wanted to be that person - but I don't start fights and pretty much the only people I'm friends with (I trim my FB friends list sporadically) and who visit my wall already agree with me anyway. So, oh well. No regrets.
In the interests of sharing, some articles I found tremendously interesting:
- Paper Tigers: What happens to all the Asian-American overachievers when the test-taking ends?
An older article (May 8) on the limitations of Asian-American "values" and upbringing, as well as the theoretical Bamboo Ceiling. A lot of really interesting points, though not all of which I agreed with. (And I definitely side-eyed the bit about "targeting" women in an effort to teach Asian guys how to have the cojones to hit on women. Um.)
- Why You Should Never Listen to Asian American "Writers" of Angst
A rebuttal/response to the above, presenting the view of an Asian-American who now embraces the self-same values and upbringing decried in the above article. Really, really interesting response, in my opinion! From my point of view, though, I agree with neither 100% and both sides come off a tad defensive of their own values and life circumstances, but that is not in itself a bad thing. It's not about picking a side, for me, but hearing different opinions. As D said, the best part of the article (and subsequent response) is the same as when Amy Chua's Tiger Mothers controversy blew up - it's the fact that Asian-American voices are being heard at all! We're not a uniform bloc of experiences or values or opinions and I think it's both necessary and pretty damn cool when we do (get to, choose to) speak up.
- My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant
A Pulitzer-winning author talks about his American dream as an illegal immigrant. Long but moving and, for me, enlightening. (Thanks for the link, L. ♥)
- Quick Hitters on Illegal Immigration
A response from the same blog as #2, this time to address a lot of misconceptions people have about illegal immigrants in the U.S. A bit tongue-in-cheek, definitely biased, but informative. Plus, he talks about law! It's like I'm studying, right?
In the interests of sharing, some articles I found tremendously interesting:
- Paper Tigers: What happens to all the Asian-American overachievers when the test-taking ends?
An older article (May 8) on the limitations of Asian-American "values" and upbringing, as well as the theoretical Bamboo Ceiling. A lot of really interesting points, though not all of which I agreed with. (And I definitely side-eyed the bit about "targeting" women in an effort to teach Asian guys how to have the cojones to hit on women. Um.)
- Why You Should Never Listen to Asian American "Writers" of Angst
A rebuttal/response to the above, presenting the view of an Asian-American who now embraces the self-same values and upbringing decried in the above article. Really, really interesting response, in my opinion! From my point of view, though, I agree with neither 100% and both sides come off a tad defensive of their own values and life circumstances, but that is not in itself a bad thing. It's not about picking a side, for me, but hearing different opinions. As D said, the best part of the article (and subsequent response) is the same as when Amy Chua's Tiger Mothers controversy blew up - it's the fact that Asian-American voices are being heard at all! We're not a uniform bloc of experiences or values or opinions and I think it's both necessary and pretty damn cool when we do (get to, choose to) speak up.
- My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant
A Pulitzer-winning author talks about his American dream as an illegal immigrant. Long but moving and, for me, enlightening. (Thanks for the link, L. ♥)
- Quick Hitters on Illegal Immigration
A response from the same blog as #2, this time to address a lot of misconceptions people have about illegal immigrants in the U.S. A bit tongue-in-cheek, definitely biased, but informative. Plus, he talks about law! It's like I'm studying, right?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
PSA: this is a self-involved post
Sometimes I wonder why people are in need of constant validation when we've been told clearly and plainly in the past that we are loved, appreciated, valued, by the same people we are seeking validation from now. It will always be the same words of Why You Matter and Things We Like About You, so why the need for new reassurances?
I realize it's because people are constantly changing, in a state of flux - I look at the past and think, I was a better person then, maybe, so those words of validation then mean nothing now (or not nothing, but feel less applicable) because I'm afraid I am no longer worthy of them. People are always changing - growing, hopefully, and learning - but it's funny to think that, in the end, our fears stay the same. In the end, the core beliefs and acts and personalities that make us fundamentally ourselves also stay the same, which is why the validations remain the same: you're loved, appreciated, valued for who you are.
I will never tire of telling my friends that, though I often end up afraid they are sick of telling me the same. The difference, perhaps, between being needed and being needy: I'd like to be the former but not the latter.
It's always surprising, too, though pleasantly so, to realize you've made an imprint on more people than you knew or expected. I say I try, mostly, just to be friendly, but it's different to realize that that's had a concrete impact.
I feel pretentious and narcissistic now: good note to end on, yes?
I realize it's because people are constantly changing, in a state of flux - I look at the past and think, I was a better person then, maybe, so those words of validation then mean nothing now (or not nothing, but feel less applicable) because I'm afraid I am no longer worthy of them. People are always changing - growing, hopefully, and learning - but it's funny to think that, in the end, our fears stay the same. In the end, the core beliefs and acts and personalities that make us fundamentally ourselves also stay the same, which is why the validations remain the same: you're loved, appreciated, valued for who you are.
I will never tire of telling my friends that, though I often end up afraid they are sick of telling me the same. The difference, perhaps, between being needed and being needy: I'd like to be the former but not the latter.
It's always surprising, too, though pleasantly so, to realize you've made an imprint on more people than you knew or expected. I say I try, mostly, just to be friendly, but it's different to realize that that's had a concrete impact.
I feel pretentious and narcissistic now: good note to end on, yes?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
只怕那一天有你走了，我会怎么办？
My grandfather passed away in China last night and it has been a while in coming. He was surrounded by most of his family.
我个人心情还算比较平静，只是有一点遗憾没有多认识爷爷奶奶。
可是，老爸，你还好吗？我该说些什么来安慰你呀？只要希望你知道依旧还有我们。
For the most part, I'm carrying on as usual.
Rest in peace, 爷爷。
我个人心情还算比较平静，只是有一点遗憾没有多认识爷爷奶奶。
可是，老爸，你还好吗？我该说些什么来安慰你呀？只要希望你知道依旧还有我们。
For the most part, I'm carrying on as usual.
Rest in peace, 爷爷。
Monday, June 20, 2011
what comes with growing older
This morning, I had to tell my dad that his dad was dying.
My grandpa's been sick for a while - in fact, my dad just returned from China where he was visiting his parents and brothers - but now my grandpa's on his deathbed (I don't know if he's passed yet), and my cousin Skyped me to let me know. He asked that I let my dad know so he could call home. So I called my dad at work.
I was never close with my paternal grandparents, a product of having grown up in a different country and visiting far too infrequently. I feel bad that I never knew them better - but mostly I am upset because my dad is clearly upset (and I have rarely seen him upset this way), because it's his father, because it means one day I'll be in that position and it's terrifying.
My mom lost her father when I was 9, but I don't think I was old enough then to really understand.
My grandpa's been sick for a while - in fact, my dad just returned from China where he was visiting his parents and brothers - but now my grandpa's on his deathbed (I don't know if he's passed yet), and my cousin Skyped me to let me know. He asked that I let my dad know so he could call home. So I called my dad at work.
I was never close with my paternal grandparents, a product of having grown up in a different country and visiting far too infrequently. I feel bad that I never knew them better - but mostly I am upset because my dad is clearly upset (and I have rarely seen him upset this way), because it's his father, because it means one day I'll be in that position and it's terrifying.
My mom lost her father when I was 9, but I don't think I was old enough then to really understand.
Friday, June 17, 2011
hello, miranda
I feel a bit behind in my bar studying - not significantly, but enough to be a little stressed. In reality, I'm probably doing better than a good portion of the other people studying for the bar by staying mostly (mostly) on schedule, but I keep feeling like I need dedicate even more time to it. I am so bad at commitment, even just to studying.
The CrimLaw/CrimPro lectures are much more enjoyable than the Contracts lecture, at least.
I've also been doing a lot of news-reading while in lecture, so. That's been good and bad. I have Opinions on the news - both the actual content and the trend of the media in selecting and presenting that news - but I should probably focus on the lecture and lecture notes at hand.
The CrimLaw/CrimPro lectures are much more enjoyable than the Contracts lecture, at least.
I've also been doing a lot of news-reading while in lecture, so. That's been good and bad. I have Opinions on the news - both the actual content and the trend of the media in selecting and presenting that news - but I should probably focus on the lecture and lecture notes at hand.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
these defects in your lecture are not latent
You must distinguish "acceptance of the goods" from "acceptance of offer". REALLY?! Because if you're discussing goods, then you already have a contract. That is why my (pause) framework (pause) or methodology (pause) is helpful. OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD CTRL+SHIFT+G DOESN'T EVEN WORK ANYMORE, FML.
Before I tear my hair out in frustration. Professor K, at this point in my life, I miss you so fucking much.
OH MY GOD CTRL+SHIFT+G DOESN'T EVEN WORK ANYMORE, FML.
Before I tear my hair out in frustration. Professor K, at this point in my life, I miss you so fucking much.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
後悔しない人生
I can't seem to find an exclamation of surprise that doesn't involve curse words or what comes off as insincere triteness - oh dear, heavens, my word, it seems as though I have been playing deftly into the role of self-victimizing Eeyore of late. If "of late" translates into the last twenty years of my life or so.
It doesn't matter if I feel resentful at times, of friends not living up to my (high, oft-silent) expectations; it doesn't matter if I feel like I am no one's best friend, closest confidante. What matters is that I do love the friends I have and I want them in my life and that not being someone's "best friend" doesn't mean they don't want me in their life.
There are many kinds of maturity. I should start subscribing to the kind that demands manifestation through action.
I don't subscribe to tenets of Taoism - it's too anti-intellectualism, for one - but it lays some good foundations. I should stop fighting the flow of the world. I should stop tearing myself up over it. I should stop acting like I'm owed anything beyond what comes to me. If I can't be optimistic, I should at least cease being so willfully pessimistic, and try for peace. Yes, zen is a concept associated more with Buddhism, but I'm not seeking anything beyond what this life offers.
I told my mom once, "生命只有这一个". We only have this one life. She corrected it to "生命只有这一次". We only live this one time. The distinction is, perhaps, subtle. My view saw life as a whole entity, a gift, to be used and not be wasted. Her view saw it was a journey and an experience not to be wasted. To squander it would be a tragedy to yourself in either case, but maybe the question is whether you are living the way you do because you feel obliged (not to waste your life) or because you find it freeing (to live and to learn).
人生无悔。Life without regret. Maybe it doesn't mean you need to do more (spontaneous road trips, dinner parties, love recklessly) or do less (stupid things, drama, having feelings). Maybe it means you just need to stop regretting the things that happen in your life, both good and bad. Maybe, and yes it's trite, they all do happen for a reason - that is, as the composition of what makes your life yours, and unique, and an experience.
生命只有这一次。
Hm. I feel like there's a bit of a disconnect from the beginning of the post to the end. I think I talked myself around from "be less stupid" to "hey, stupidity happens in life, it's okay". There's no harm in trying for both, right?
It doesn't matter if I feel resentful at times, of friends not living up to my (high, oft-silent) expectations; it doesn't matter if I feel like I am no one's best friend, closest confidante. What matters is that I do love the friends I have and I want them in my life and that not being someone's "best friend" doesn't mean they don't want me in their life.
There are many kinds of maturity. I should start subscribing to the kind that demands manifestation through action.
I don't subscribe to tenets of Taoism - it's too anti-intellectualism, for one - but it lays some good foundations. I should stop fighting the flow of the world. I should stop tearing myself up over it. I should stop acting like I'm owed anything beyond what comes to me. If I can't be optimistic, I should at least cease being so willfully pessimistic, and try for peace. Yes, zen is a concept associated more with Buddhism, but I'm not seeking anything beyond what this life offers.
I told my mom once, "生命只有这一个". We only have this one life. She corrected it to "生命只有这一次". We only live this one time. The distinction is, perhaps, subtle. My view saw life as a whole entity, a gift, to be used and not be wasted. Her view saw it was a journey and an experience not to be wasted. To squander it would be a tragedy to yourself in either case, but maybe the question is whether you are living the way you do because you feel obliged (not to waste your life) or because you find it freeing (to live and to learn).
人生无悔。Life without regret. Maybe it doesn't mean you need to do more (spontaneous road trips, dinner parties, love recklessly) or do less (stupid things, drama, having feelings). Maybe it means you just need to stop regretting the things that happen in your life, both good and bad. Maybe, and yes it's trite, they all do happen for a reason - that is, as the composition of what makes your life yours, and unique, and an experience.
生命只有这一次。
Hm. I feel like there's a bit of a disconnect from the beginning of the post to the end. I think I talked myself around from "be less stupid" to "hey, stupidity happens in life, it's okay". There's no harm in trying for both, right?
greatest common factor
Took the day off bar studying and that was - all right. I had a good time at A's Clue party in the evening, but looking back, I think I wish I would've studied. Can you parse that sentence? In any case, there's nothing I can do now - sleep and bar study all day tomorrow, I suppose, though I may need to make a pit stop at the library.
I have a lot of feelings right now and most of them are unpleasant, so I don't think I'll record them here for posterity, because there's venting in private and then there's being hurtfully passive-aggressive in a blog post. One thing I can say, I think, is that I am pretty pissed at people who are willing to sacrifice their friendships for their relationships. I don't mean that you should be placing either one higher on the hierarchy or that sacrifices don't need to made - I understand that things change and it's not a competition. But when you are displacing your friendships entirely, purposefully or not, for your relationship, I think that's bullshit. I don't think I've done that in the past - but then again, maybe there's a reason I'm no longer in those relationships. Maybe I have been doing it wrong all along, for not being more willing to commit more to those relationships. If it turns out that you really do have to sacrifice your friendships for your relationship-- I can't even finish that hypo, it's clearly so wrong.
I suppose if our friendship was so weak as to be so easily and carelessly sacrificed, there wasn't much to it in the first place. Or you just didn't care as much as I did. Either way, I'm sorry.
I'm hurt and I'm angry, and I'm sorry.
I'm not targeting anyone or singling anyone out because the best part is that friends trading me in for their relationships has happened in more than one situation so... They say when you're the greatest common factor in all your failed relationships, the problem is probably with you. Yo.
So it's not you, it's me. That means I get to make a whiny blog post about it, right?
I have a lot of feelings right now and most of them are unpleasant, so I don't think I'll record them here for posterity, because there's venting in private and then there's being hurtfully passive-aggressive in a blog post. One thing I can say, I think, is that I am pretty pissed at people who are willing to sacrifice their friendships for their relationships. I don't mean that you should be placing either one higher on the hierarchy or that sacrifices don't need to made - I understand that things change and it's not a competition. But when you are displacing your friendships entirely, purposefully or not, for your relationship, I think that's bullshit. I don't think I've done that in the past - but then again, maybe there's a reason I'm no longer in those relationships. Maybe I have been doing it wrong all along, for not being more willing to commit more to those relationships. If it turns out that you really do have to sacrifice your friendships for your relationship-- I can't even finish that hypo, it's clearly so wrong.
I suppose if our friendship was so weak as to be so easily and carelessly sacrificed, there wasn't much to it in the first place. Or you just didn't care as much as I did. Either way, I'm sorry.
I'm hurt and I'm angry, and I'm sorry.
I'm not targeting anyone or singling anyone out because the best part is that friends trading me in for their relationships has happened in more than one situation so... They say when you're the greatest common factor in all your failed relationships, the problem is probably with you. Yo.
So it's not you, it's me. That means I get to make a whiny blog post about it, right?
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
sound of distress
Oh bar studying. D: So much D:.
Oh MPT, why. Why. I can't remember the last time I wrote a memo, persuasive or otherwise - even for moot court I was writing briefs and at least I had more than 90 minutes to do so.
The MPT "measures fundamental lawyering skills, namely: legal analysis and reasoning, fact analysis, fact gathering, problem solving, and recognizing and resolving ethical dilemmas".
Whoever said I had these skills lied. Wait, would that be me? No wonder I wouldn't recognize an ethical dilemma if it walked up and offered to buy me a drink.
D:
I could use a drink, though.
Oh MPT, why. Why. I can't remember the last time I wrote a memo, persuasive or otherwise - even for moot court I was writing briefs and at least I had more than 90 minutes to do so.
The MPT "measures fundamental lawyering skills, namely: legal analysis and reasoning, fact analysis, fact gathering, problem solving, and recognizing and resolving ethical dilemmas".
Whoever said I had these skills lied. Wait, would that be me? No wonder I wouldn't recognize an ethical dilemma if it walked up and offered to buy me a drink.
D:
I could use a drink, though.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
with an arm-flap of celebration
Watched USA v. Spain yesterday with J: Let's just say, USA, that your defense was so terrible (read: nonexistent) that even Torres managed to score. That's like a whole new level of failure. Granted, his hair was terrible, so it only made sense that some of his scoring ability has returned.
It was kind of embarrassing for the US, wasn't it? To put it mildly. To be fair, Spain = world champions and the US was missing some top key players (read: Donovan), alongside starting none of their WC squad and using terrified and inexperienced high schoolers instead. Or maybe that's just what it looked like.
Spain's away kits were indeed quite sharp (thanks, commentators, for your "oh god no actual football is being played, what can we talk about aside from the weather and the Barcelona-Madrid rivalry that is surely, surely rending apart the Spanish National Team with dissent from within" commentary) and oh Pepe Villa Silva Sergio Pique Iniesta Busquets Xabiiii Iker-- ♥
Nando, Nando, Nando. What will I do with you? I suppose I will love you in reality but troll your ass because it's fun. Jerk. You've ruined my favorite Liverpool song.
Oh and so much happiness for Li Na being the first Asian woman (and Asian-born-in-Asia) to win a Grand Slam singles title at the French Open today. :D Awesome. Now, however - vamos Rafa!
It was kind of embarrassing for the US, wasn't it? To put it mildly. To be fair, Spain = world champions and the US was missing some top key players (read: Donovan), alongside starting none of their WC squad and using terrified and inexperienced high schoolers instead. Or maybe that's just what it looked like.
Spain's away kits were indeed quite sharp (thanks, commentators, for your "oh god no actual football is being played, what can we talk about aside from the weather and the Barcelona-Madrid rivalry that is surely, surely rending apart the Spanish National Team with dissent from within" commentary) and oh Pepe Villa Silva Sergio Pique Iniesta Busquets Xabiiii Iker-- ♥
Nando, Nando, Nando. What will I do with you? I suppose I will love you in reality but troll your ass because it's fun. Jerk. You've ruined my favorite Liverpool song.
Oh and so much happiness for Li Na being the first Asian woman (and Asian-born-in-Asia) to win a Grand Slam singles title at the French Open today. :D Awesome. Now, however - vamos Rafa!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
hello, sweet june
The good news is that I'm pretty much sticking to my summer schedule. The bad news is that since my schedule pretty much consists of "eat, drive, class, study, drive, eat, study, sleep", it's not like I'm doing much. As class intensity has picked up this week, I've lost most of my time for cooking and reading for fun, to say nothing of exercise, which is always more of a theoretical concept for me. I exercise my mind!
For instance, sometimes lecture is so boring/slow/covering things I already know, I end up copying Chinese lyrics by hand into my notebook in an effort to improve my writing abilities. Today, I also made a list of Chinese songs I can actually sing during karaoke - all of which are almost entirely due to SJM covers. See? SJM totally furthers my education.
What is writing? What is socializing? We'll see if I can have at least one day per weekend to indulge in some of these rumored leisure activities.
For instance, this weekend: French Open final Saturday morning, USA v Spain friendly Saturday afternoon, and at least one of these two will be watched in J's company, hopefully.
I need to find the time to do actual research for AGA too. More hours in a day, I need them. Public library, for god's sake, have longer weekend hours.
Man, I hate long commutes. Rush hour traffic can please go fuck itself.
For instance, sometimes lecture is so boring/slow/covering things I already know, I end up copying Chinese lyrics by hand into my notebook in an effort to improve my writing abilities. Today, I also made a list of Chinese songs I can actually sing during karaoke - all of which are almost entirely due to SJM covers. See? SJM totally furthers my education.
What is writing? What is socializing? We'll see if I can have at least one day per weekend to indulge in some of these rumored leisure activities.
For instance, this weekend: French Open final Saturday morning, USA v Spain friendly Saturday afternoon, and at least one of these two will be watched in J's company, hopefully.
I need to find the time to do actual research for AGA too. More hours in a day, I need them. Public library, for god's sake, have longer weekend hours.
Man, I hate long commutes. Rush hour traffic can please go fuck itself.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
on getting older but not old enough
Nothing particularly significant today, but my mood is really terrible regardless. I am feeling particularly surly and uncharitable with nothing specific to pin it on - perhaps it's the cumulation of small things.
I think I'm old at times. Especially lately, with people graduating undergrad and making all these posts about how it's the end of an era, how they'll never again have these easy times with friends, drunken jokes, late nights, a certain kind of freedom from any real-world responsibilities, and so on. It's familiar, the kind of thing college graduates have been saying for probably centuries (or at least decades, if we're allowing for the evolution of popular undergrad experiences to what it is today). Yet these posts make me feel my age, because these are people I consider my equals, close to me in age, but I forget that they are younger. Most of the time it doesn't matter, until posts like these make me realize I left undergrad three years ago. Not this year or last year, but three years ago. It's not such a huge amount of time but it drives home, nonetheless, that a certain sect of my friends are all younger than me - some of them significantly younger than me. Why am I not as close with the friends who are older? It's probably because I'm still incredibly immature inside. Not to say that anyone younger in years is automatically more immature, but that I still feel incredibly young, inexperienced, irresponsible, and immature remains true.
My parents are getting old. Not just older, but old. The meds they have to take, their health worries... The way they are surprised by their own ages each year, the way they are tired, the way my mom hates it a little bit - all of it makes me ashamed that I can't be more grown-up, more adult, more capable of taking care of myself and taking care of them.
People both older and younger tell me I'm still young. What am I supposed to say? In some ways, it's not true. Twenty-four this year is not that young. In some ways, it is. There's still a lot of my life left (presumably). I still have so far to go.
*
I just got back from a walk with my mom; we had a good discussion (read: heated argument that resolved into a good discussion) about Asians in America, first generation of immigrants versus their Westernized (but still Asian-influenced) children, political representation, minority status, speaking out, working hard, changing the world... I used to be afraid I would be like my parents when I grew up. Then I was afraid I wouldn't be, that I wouldn't be Asian enough. Now, I think I am more at peace with the fact that I will be different in some ways (ways that I am grateful for), many ways, perhaps - but that doesn't mean I will ever forget where my roots are.
My Asian-American identity is one I am wrestling with better than my age. We fight a lot of battles with ourselves, don't we?
My parents are getting old. Not just older, but old. The meds they have to take, their health worries... The way they are surprised by their own ages each year, the way they are tired, the way my mom hates it a little bit - all of it makes me ashamed that I can't be more grown-up, more adult, more capable of taking care of myself and taking care of them.
People both older and younger tell me I'm still young. What am I supposed to say? In some ways, it's not true. Twenty-four this year is not that young. In some ways, it is. There's still a lot of my life left (presumably). I still have so far to go.
I just got back from a walk with my mom; we had a good discussion (read: heated argument that resolved into a good discussion) about Asians in America, first generation of immigrants versus their Westernized (but still Asian-influenced) children, political representation, minority status, speaking out, working hard, changing the world... I used to be afraid I would be like my parents when I grew up. Then I was afraid I wouldn't be, that I wouldn't be Asian enough. Now, I think I am more at peace with the fact that I will be different in some ways (ways that I am grateful for), many ways, perhaps - but that doesn't mean I will ever forget where my roots are.
My Asian-American identity is one I am wrestling with better than my age. We fight a lot of battles with ourselves, don't we?
Friday, May 27, 2011
the consequences of a sporadic attention span
Things I am apparently not very good at include regularly maintaining updates on my blog, particularly when I don't have as much structure in my life (see: the past semester in Singapore, though I am in no way complaining). Since I have graduated law school (fervent relief) and have started BarBri bar review for the NY bar while at home in NC, it is hard to deny that there is certainly structure in my life now, what with daily classes and assignments. Honestly, this is more structure than I've ever had in law school, since back then my schedule was staggered and differed from day to day. That's not so much the case now...
Anyway, here's to trying (yet again) at keeping up this blog, at least for a period. I make no promises past the immediate future - evidently I am a very short-term planner. It's a weakness. The big picture overwhelms me, depresses me, makes me shrug and think fatalistically, "Why bother?" Maybe I think too big sometimes.
Memorial Day weekend begins after class today! It heralds nothing terribly exciting for me: studying, actually, and the possibility of seeing some friends, if all things work out. Chapel Hill, you are so close and yet you seem irretrievably distant...
In news, my dad's leaving for China for three weeks this Monday and my brother's practically living at Animazement this weekend, the geek. I've been cooking this past week (after a semester of having touched virtually nothing insomuch resembling a kitchen), I read two new books (albeit ones that didn't require a high level of mental engagement), I've engaged with AGA (All Girls Allowed) to do legal research on political asylum over the summer, and have been slowly edging out of the antisocial mindset I've been ensconced in for the past two or three weeks. It's slow progress, but progress, right? Sorry, I have not meant to ignore or neglect anyone. You'll see me around.
Anyway, here's to trying (yet again) at keeping up this blog, at least for a period. I make no promises past the immediate future - evidently I am a very short-term planner. It's a weakness. The big picture overwhelms me, depresses me, makes me shrug and think fatalistically, "Why bother?" Maybe I think too big sometimes.
Memorial Day weekend begins after class today! It heralds nothing terribly exciting for me: studying, actually, and the possibility of seeing some friends, if all things work out. Chapel Hill, you are so close and yet you seem irretrievably distant...
In news, my dad's leaving for China for three weeks this Monday and my brother's practically living at Animazement this weekend, the geek. I've been cooking this past week (after a semester of having touched virtually nothing insomuch resembling a kitchen), I read two new books (albeit ones that didn't require a high level of mental engagement), I've engaged with AGA (All Girls Allowed) to do legal research on political asylum over the summer, and have been slowly edging out of the antisocial mindset I've been ensconced in for the past two or three weeks. It's slow progress, but progress, right? Sorry, I have not meant to ignore or neglect anyone. You'll see me around.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
when writing an essay
You know what's a great word? "Assay".
as·say
–verb (used with object)
1. to examine or analyze
2. to judge the quality of; assess; evaluate
3. to try or test; put to trial
as·say
–verb (used with object)
1. to examine or analyze
2. to judge the quality of; assess; evaluate
3. to try or test; put to trial
Friday, March 25, 2011
Dear Singapore,
It's hit that time of year where every day breaks 90F/33C and, with no A/C in my dorm, I basically want to kill myself.
Tomorrow, I shall remove myself to a study area to write my paper in hopes of not spending the entire day uncomfortable and tired and wanting a nap.
Also, please rain.
Love,
Mei
P.S. It would be great if it could get cool enough that I could wander down around campus to get some porridge without wanting to die. Thanks!
Tomorrow, I shall remove myself to a study area to write my paper in hopes of not spending the entire day uncomfortable and tired and wanting a nap.
Also, please rain.
Love,
Mei
P.S. It would be great if it could get cool enough that I could wander down around campus to get some porridge without wanting to die. Thanks!
Monday, March 21, 2011
domestic adventures
Saturday was B's birthday, so we went out with some of his non-law friends to drink and celebrate. Blue Jazz was unfortunately (though probably not surprisingly) packed, so we ended up at Brewerkz in Clark Quay. Decent food, good drinks (x-rated sex on the beach! ...thusly rated because it is made from x-rated fusion vodka), and strange but entertaining conversations. A good time overall. Life is better spent not entirely sober, I feel.
Sunday, I met up with G for a delicious lunch. It's actually been a long time since I've had good, freshly-made Chinese stir-fry, because so often I just grab some fast noodles or pre-made 2 veg + 1 meat to eat in the interests of saving time. We had 笋尖肉丝 (bamboo and shredded pork) and 酸辣白菜 (hot & sour stir-fried cabbage) and it was so, so good with a bowl of white rice. I love Chinese food, okay? It is in my roots and in my heritage and in my blood. Also, rice. According to G, Thailand pledged some thousands of pounds of rice to help Japan. Now that is the generous Asian spirit, ha.
I did my presentation for Law & Development in China today - a brief powerpoint talk about my paper topic. It went... Well, let's say that while I don't necessarily have a great fear of public speaking, I am not necessarily good at either. I tend to talk on the fast side anyway, but when I am standing in front of people, I also tend to lose my train of thought, so occasionally there are periods where I have an almost out-of-body experience where I sort of look askance at myself internally and wonder what are those words coming out of my mouth...? It's like a different part of my brain is controlling the sounds I make, disconnected from the part of my brain that does the thinking. Additionally, my active versus passive vocabulary has always been a source of distress. It all leads to inadvertent but interesting faces while I talk, because I am WTF-ing at myself. Ah, rehearsing, this is why they recommend it.
Anyway, it was fine, it is over, and now I hope to be able to focus on writing my paper and getting it done and out of the way. I have many other papers awaiting me... Clearly I anticipate them with much joy, yes?
I am also writing again, for all the good and the bad that it entails. It certainly involves a lot of feelings, that's for sure.
Just browsed one of my usual food blogs and am craving a reuben in ways I can't even put into words. That will have to be one of the items on my to do list when I stop over back in STL in May.
Sunday, I met up with G for a delicious lunch. It's actually been a long time since I've had good, freshly-made Chinese stir-fry, because so often I just grab some fast noodles or pre-made 2 veg + 1 meat to eat in the interests of saving time. We had 笋尖肉丝 (bamboo and shredded pork) and 酸辣白菜 (hot & sour stir-fried cabbage) and it was so, so good with a bowl of white rice. I love Chinese food, okay? It is in my roots and in my heritage and in my blood. Also, rice. According to G, Thailand pledged some thousands of pounds of rice to help Japan. Now that is the generous Asian spirit, ha.
I did my presentation for Law & Development in China today - a brief powerpoint talk about my paper topic. It went... Well, let's say that while I don't necessarily have a great fear of public speaking, I am not necessarily good at either. I tend to talk on the fast side anyway, but when I am standing in front of people, I also tend to lose my train of thought, so occasionally there are periods where I have an almost out-of-body experience where I sort of look askance at myself internally and wonder what are those words coming out of my mouth...? It's like a different part of my brain is controlling the sounds I make, disconnected from the part of my brain that does the thinking. Additionally, my active versus passive vocabulary has always been a source of distress. It all leads to inadvertent but interesting faces while I talk, because I am WTF-ing at myself. Ah, rehearsing, this is why they recommend it.
Anyway, it was fine, it is over, and now I hope to be able to focus on writing my paper and getting it done and out of the way. I have many other papers awaiting me... Clearly I anticipate them with much joy, yes?
I am also writing again, for all the good and the bad that it entails. It certainly involves a lot of feelings, that's for sure.
Just browsed one of my usual food blogs and am craving a reuben in ways I can't even put into words. That will have to be one of the items on my to do list when I stop over back in STL in May.
Friday, March 18, 2011
pick yourself up and push yourself forward
I've been feeling like the crap the past few days. Part of it is not sleeping well, which I'm sure contributes to the decline in emotional stability. I'm surviving for the most part; the last thing I want to do is lay the same-old same-old whining on my friends, who've all heard it dozens of times before. Really, one of the worst things I do when I'm feeling bad is allowing myself to wallow. So I am trying to pick myself up and make some productivity happen regardless of how I feel, and that accomplishing of things will eventually lead to a pick up in mood anyway.
Of course the other thing I'm dealing with are the joys of procrastination. What an accurate depiction! Yet so tragic.
For better or worse, I will have to force myself to get some research done this weekend, since I have to put together my powerpoint presentation for class on Monday. For better, actually. Let's get to work on this paper and get it out of the way sooner.
A bit of sociality will also help improve my mood, I think. I managed to Skype with my 宝贝 T today in the best kind of phone-call way, where you say nothing of importance to each other and just enjoy each other's presence for an hour or so. Tomorrow, hopefully something with B and A to celebrate B's birthday. They are cool people. Some of my favorite to hang out with among the law crew; the rest of my time goes to myself and my local friends. It's a nice balance, hopefully. Dinner with family friends J's parents tonight - delicious black pepper crab and salted duck egg crab. Food, you are my favorite, even when you are messy and I've forgotten to take pictures. Hopefully meeting up with F and G and S and S at some point... Well. I'll be around Singapore for the next month. We can make things happen so I can stop being so homesick.
It's not that I miss STL so much that I miss my friends there and the ability to do certain things I can't do so much here: drive and cook, for example.
At least one good thing came out of feeling like crap: I always turn to new music when I feel bad. So now I have more Chinese music. Hurrah, Fan Wei Qi. My style of easy-listening c-pop.
Of course the other thing I'm dealing with are the joys of procrastination. What an accurate depiction! Yet so tragic.
For better or worse, I will have to force myself to get some research done this weekend, since I have to put together my powerpoint presentation for class on Monday. For better, actually. Let's get to work on this paper and get it out of the way sooner.
A bit of sociality will also help improve my mood, I think. I managed to Skype with my 宝贝 T today in the best kind of phone-call way, where you say nothing of importance to each other and just enjoy each other's presence for an hour or so. Tomorrow, hopefully something with B and A to celebrate B's birthday. They are cool people. Some of my favorite to hang out with among the law crew; the rest of my time goes to myself and my local friends. It's a nice balance, hopefully. Dinner with family friends J's parents tonight - delicious black pepper crab and salted duck egg crab. Food, you are my favorite, even when you are messy and I've forgotten to take pictures. Hopefully meeting up with F and G and S and S at some point... Well. I'll be around Singapore for the next month. We can make things happen so I can stop being so homesick.
It's not that I miss STL so much that I miss my friends there and the ability to do certain things I can't do so much here: drive and cook, for example.
At least one good thing came out of feeling like crap: I always turn to new music when I feel bad. So now I have more Chinese music. Hurrah, Fan Wei Qi. My style of easy-listening c-pop.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
just keep your head above
Swim for your life
Swim for the music that saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far to fall off the earth
The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above
I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets they fired at me from a gun
A crack in the armor
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absense of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I swim
You've gotta swim
Through nights that wont end
Swim for your families
Your lovers
Your sisters and brothers
And friends
You've gotta swim
Through wars without cause
Swim for the lost politicians
Who don't see their greed as a flaw
The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above
I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets they fired at me from a gun
A crack in the armor
I swim for brighter days
Despite of the absense of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I'm not giving in
I swim
You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's no shame in drifting
Feel the tide shifting
And wait for the spark
You've gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just find the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think
The currents will drag us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim, swim
Just keep your head above
Swim
Monday, March 14, 2011
for all my complaints, the good remains true
In summary, translated from tired chatspeak:
VS: Is your semester abroad as good as you thought it'd be?
Me: Yes. I love it. I'm not loving my lack of future/direction/purpose in life, but that would've been the same even in St. Louis. I would rather have these existential crises here, where I get to fill in the extra time and space with awesome experiences.
VS: Could you work in Singapore?
Me: It is definitely something I am looking into.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
this brief sojourn through the philippines
Philippines, March 9 -13:
Thursday, 3/10
The moon is a Cheshire cat's grin in the sky tonight, bright against the black sky. The stars - well, they exist. Frankly, sometimes I forget, having grown too accustomed to city-living and nightlights. It has been a long time since I've seen so many stars, so bright.
Tonight, D and I are in Coron, Palawan, one of the many islands of the Philippines. It is a mountainous beach town, limestone mountains right up agains the ocean. It reminds me a lot of Nha Trang, actually, but less commercial and packed with tourists. Here, it is still rural countryside, quiet that is broken only by a cacophony of barking dogs and crowing roosters. (Here, the roosters alert you to whatever hour they please. On a side note, cock fighting remains legal in the Philippines, according to D.)
We've come far from the chaos of Manila. When I arrived at Clark Airport yesterday and took an hour and a half bus ride down into Manila, the guy sitting next to me and I made friends and held a number of interesting conversations about Asia, America, culture, internationalism, and a number of other things. One thing I mentioned was that all Asian countryside (through which we were passing at the time) look a little bit the same, and all Asian cities look a little bit the same as well. Manila reminded me a lot of Ho Chi Minh City with its packed streets and endless honking, the people milling carelessly through the jammed cars and motorbikes to cross where they could, like water stubbornly finding its way around a barrier of rocks. The tricycles (motocycles with a side-attached carrier seat) reminded me of the tuktuks in Cambodia (motorcycles with the carrier seat attached behind). But Manila definitely has a personality of its own: loud, poor, busy, struggling, thriving, shopping. Manila is composed of shopping malls everywhere you look, boasting the third and fourth largest malls in the world (behind the largest in Edmonton, Canada and the second-largest in Minnesota, I think).
I met M at Megamall yesterday and we chatted, had dinner, then met up with D, who took me to a friend's house to crash together for the night.
There are street boys on every busy corner, hailing taxis for anyone looking for them for a few pesos - as much as they can get. There are children everywhere, said D, because of the war the Catholic Church (so influential in a country that is overwhelmingly Catholic) wages against the reproductive health system. Condoms? For shame. It was fascinating to see how many people were actively Catholic yesterday, as it was Ash Wednesday and so many people passed by wearing ash crosses on their forehead. And so many more, without their crosses, still consider themselves Catholic. It was, to me, a sort of comparative exercise to Cambodia, where the people were overwhelmingly Buddhist with some Hindu influences. In so many ways we are the same, but in so many ways we are different.
Manila's public transit is a nightmare. The roads are jam-packed at all hours of the day, as are the trains. I have never retrospectively appreciated Singapore's MRTs as much; I will never again compare you to Seoul's and find you lacking! But we survived the MRTs, the trikes, the jeeps, the buses, the cabs (I've basically been on all forms of public transit in the Philippines within the first 24 hours), and made it to the airport to catch a short 40-minute flight to Coron.
We arrived around 1pm, checked in to our hotel, got lunch (chicken adobo, of course I will have pictures ltaer), and started on our city tour. We saw the harbor, the city center, and the cashew harvest factory - cashews are a major export here, a wealth that grows on trees. Plus, they are delicious. We trekked Mount Tapyas, which was really just a 726 step stair climb (or exercise in effusive sweating), and then, after we took a gazillion pictures to prove our success, made it back down to head to the hot springs. Natural salt-water hot springs surroundedby a mangrove forest - it was amazing to soak there after that mountain stair climb.
We soaked, we came back, we showered, we got dinner. We hit up a close-by Western bistro in our exhaustion which can be summed up thus:
1. 50 peso rum and coke - that is approximately $1. Did I get some? You bet I did.
2. SURPRISE MUSHROOOMS IN MY SPAGHETTI MEAT SAUCE. WORST SURPRISE EVER. :(((
Friday, 3/11
I have spent my time in the Philippines doing two things in particular: climbing up a lot of stairs and snorkeling.
Oh, and surviving death!
Well, this is only partly a joke in reference to the tsunami that was supposed to hit the Philippines, but it is morbid and in bad taste, so really it is not entirely a joke. We were lucky to be on the opposite side of the Philippines from where the tsuanami was supposed to hit, so despite being out on the water (in the water) all day, we saw nothing out of the ordinary and are totally safe and sound. D's boyfriend freaked out at her via text a bit, and I had a few people check in with me over email and FB, but all is well.
The other bit of death-defying mostly entailed almost but not quite drowning a few times while snorkeling today. Honestly, we spent more time in the water that out of it and it was for the most part a lot of fun. Every other time I've gone snorkeling, they've given us life jackets or life savers, but I suppose they are not mandatory...as we were not given them today. We survived, though!
In the morning we started our island-hopping tour with a tiny private boat - it was just the two of us, our tour guide, our boat captain and his (I guess) first mate.
It was like the Vietnam island-hopping trip except with much fewere people and with much more time in the water. I felt like I'd been brined, honestly.
We hit the Twin Lagoons first, which are connected with a tiny hole you swim under, only accessible during low tide.
There was a lot of beautiful coral and fish there and it was very quiet. Later we hit a different island, had a delicious spread for lunch (grouper fish, eggplant salsa, grilled pork chops, steamed crab), and lazed around a bit recovering. Afterwards we snorkeled some more, except this time we hit open water, and discovered the difficulties of snorkeling against a current determined to push you away from wherever you're going. For instance, your boat.
A third snorkeling site to see Skeleton Wreck, which was a Japanese ship that had been sunk during WWII; it was covered in coral and barnacles and seaweed. I really wish we had had an underwater camera...
A fourth snorkeling site, and then we turned to another island to make a steep hike up a mountain. This is the view from the top.
We went back down the other side of the mountain and found a lake! 80% freshwater Not so much to look at underwater here except rocks, though there were also shrimp wandering around and that nibbled at my feet and arms when I sat still long enough. A strange tickling sensation. It was cool seeing wild shrimp though (for lack of a better term); I thought of those paintings by Qi Shi and felt at once so cultured and so Chinese. It was a weird moment.
We hiked back up and down the mountain to return to our boat, then spent the last hour of our trip lazing at a tiny beach while D texted with her boyfriend to reassure him that, no, we were not about to be killed by tsunami, seriously. Our tour guide and boat captain were unfazed throughout the whole ordeal in any case. What a catastrophe in Japan though, that earthquake. I hope rescue and recovery go well and that people stay as safe as possible.
Back to the hotel for showers and dinner. We ate at a bamboo grill and had pork sisig, which is chopped up bits of pork face, pork snout, and pork brains! It was actually delicious.
Saturday, 3/12
No big news today and no pics to accompany. D and I crashed hard at 10 last night and woke up around 8 - a beautiful ten hours of sleep. We had breakfast at our hostel and then wandered into town for some coffee. Mmm, cafe mocha. We wandered back to our hostel to pack and check out and hit the airport around 11, since it requires about a forty-five minute drive. However, once we arrived at the airport, we discovered our 2 o'clock flight had been pushed back to 4, because the first flight was delayed and the airline/airport was so tiny that it only had one plane. So we sat and we waited and ate some cookies for lunch.
The flight was super quick - forty minutes and we were back to Manila. Essentially it went up, cruised for approximately fifteen minutes, and went back down. By this time we were starving for an early dinner, so we headed to a Japanese restaurant that D and her boyfriend frequent, and met up with her boyfriend M there. Food? Delicious. I love maki rolls, okay. I don't think I've had sushi since coming abroad, actually. I will have pics of our delicious foods later up on FB. Also miso soup, mm.
So the story of my Saturday night was a long bus ride from Megamall to Clark Airport around 9pm, meaning I arrived at the airport before midnight, when my flight leaves at 7:40am... (The morning bus doesn't leave until 7, and since it takes approximately two hours to get to the airport, I cannot take that one.)
Little are my life complaints though, after seeing the news this morning doing its full report of the impact of the earthquake tsunami (and resulting nuclear power plant issues) in Japan.
Sunday, 3/13
I am back in Singapore and I really don't want to talk about it. Let me shower and pass out, please and thank you.
Thank you D for making my Philippines trip as lovely as it was. ♥
Thursday, 3/10
The moon is a Cheshire cat's grin in the sky tonight, bright against the black sky. The stars - well, they exist. Frankly, sometimes I forget, having grown too accustomed to city-living and nightlights. It has been a long time since I've seen so many stars, so bright.
Tonight, D and I are in Coron, Palawan, one of the many islands of the Philippines. It is a mountainous beach town, limestone mountains right up agains the ocean. It reminds me a lot of Nha Trang, actually, but less commercial and packed with tourists. Here, it is still rural countryside, quiet that is broken only by a cacophony of barking dogs and crowing roosters. (Here, the roosters alert you to whatever hour they please. On a side note, cock fighting remains legal in the Philippines, according to D.)
We've come far from the chaos of Manila. When I arrived at Clark Airport yesterday and took an hour and a half bus ride down into Manila, the guy sitting next to me and I made friends and held a number of interesting conversations about Asia, America, culture, internationalism, and a number of other things. One thing I mentioned was that all Asian countryside (through which we were passing at the time) look a little bit the same, and all Asian cities look a little bit the same as well. Manila reminded me a lot of Ho Chi Minh City with its packed streets and endless honking, the people milling carelessly through the jammed cars and motorbikes to cross where they could, like water stubbornly finding its way around a barrier of rocks. The tricycles (motocycles with a side-attached carrier seat) reminded me of the tuktuks in Cambodia (motorcycles with the carrier seat attached behind). But Manila definitely has a personality of its own: loud, poor, busy, struggling, thriving, shopping. Manila is composed of shopping malls everywhere you look, boasting the third and fourth largest malls in the world (behind the largest in Edmonton, Canada and the second-largest in Minnesota, I think).
I met M at Megamall yesterday and we chatted, had dinner, then met up with D, who took me to a friend's house to crash together for the night.
There are street boys on every busy corner, hailing taxis for anyone looking for them for a few pesos - as much as they can get. There are children everywhere, said D, because of the war the Catholic Church (so influential in a country that is overwhelmingly Catholic) wages against the reproductive health system. Condoms? For shame. It was fascinating to see how many people were actively Catholic yesterday, as it was Ash Wednesday and so many people passed by wearing ash crosses on their forehead. And so many more, without their crosses, still consider themselves Catholic. It was, to me, a sort of comparative exercise to Cambodia, where the people were overwhelmingly Buddhist with some Hindu influences. In so many ways we are the same, but in so many ways we are different.
Manila's public transit is a nightmare. The roads are jam-packed at all hours of the day, as are the trains. I have never retrospectively appreciated Singapore's MRTs as much; I will never again compare you to Seoul's and find you lacking! But we survived the MRTs, the trikes, the jeeps, the buses, the cabs (I've basically been on all forms of public transit in the Philippines within the first 24 hours), and made it to the airport to catch a short 40-minute flight to Coron.
We arrived around 1pm, checked in to our hotel, got lunch (chicken adobo, of course I will have pictures ltaer), and started on our city tour. We saw the harbor, the city center, and the cashew harvest factory - cashews are a major export here, a wealth that grows on trees. Plus, they are delicious. We trekked Mount Tapyas, which was really just a 726 step stair climb (or exercise in effusive sweating), and then, after we took a gazillion pictures to prove our success, made it back down to head to the hot springs. Natural salt-water hot springs surroundedby a mangrove forest - it was amazing to soak there after that mountain stair climb.
We soaked, we came back, we showered, we got dinner. We hit up a close-by Western bistro in our exhaustion which can be summed up thus:
1. 50 peso rum and coke - that is approximately $1. Did I get some? You bet I did.
2. SURPRISE MUSHROOOMS IN MY SPAGHETTI MEAT SAUCE. WORST SURPRISE EVER. :(((
Friday, 3/11
I have spent my time in the Philippines doing two things in particular: climbing up a lot of stairs and snorkeling.
Oh, and surviving death!
Well, this is only partly a joke in reference to the tsunami that was supposed to hit the Philippines, but it is morbid and in bad taste, so really it is not entirely a joke. We were lucky to be on the opposite side of the Philippines from where the tsuanami was supposed to hit, so despite being out on the water (in the water) all day, we saw nothing out of the ordinary and are totally safe and sound. D's boyfriend freaked out at her via text a bit, and I had a few people check in with me over email and FB, but all is well.
The other bit of death-defying mostly entailed almost but not quite drowning a few times while snorkeling today. Honestly, we spent more time in the water that out of it and it was for the most part a lot of fun. Every other time I've gone snorkeling, they've given us life jackets or life savers, but I suppose they are not mandatory...as we were not given them today. We survived, though!
In the morning we started our island-hopping tour with a tiny private boat - it was just the two of us, our tour guide, our boat captain and his (I guess) first mate.
It was like the Vietnam island-hopping trip except with much fewere people and with much more time in the water. I felt like I'd been brined, honestly.
We hit the Twin Lagoons first, which are connected with a tiny hole you swim under, only accessible during low tide.
There was a lot of beautiful coral and fish there and it was very quiet. Later we hit a different island, had a delicious spread for lunch (grouper fish, eggplant salsa, grilled pork chops, steamed crab), and lazed around a bit recovering. Afterwards we snorkeled some more, except this time we hit open water, and discovered the difficulties of snorkeling against a current determined to push you away from wherever you're going. For instance, your boat.
A third snorkeling site to see Skeleton Wreck, which was a Japanese ship that had been sunk during WWII; it was covered in coral and barnacles and seaweed. I really wish we had had an underwater camera...
A fourth snorkeling site, and then we turned to another island to make a steep hike up a mountain. This is the view from the top.
We went back down the other side of the mountain and found a lake! 80% freshwater Not so much to look at underwater here except rocks, though there were also shrimp wandering around and that nibbled at my feet and arms when I sat still long enough. A strange tickling sensation. It was cool seeing wild shrimp though (for lack of a better term); I thought of those paintings by Qi Shi and felt at once so cultured and so Chinese. It was a weird moment.
We hiked back up and down the mountain to return to our boat, then spent the last hour of our trip lazing at a tiny beach while D texted with her boyfriend to reassure him that, no, we were not about to be killed by tsunami, seriously. Our tour guide and boat captain were unfazed throughout the whole ordeal in any case. What a catastrophe in Japan though, that earthquake. I hope rescue and recovery go well and that people stay as safe as possible.
Back to the hotel for showers and dinner. We ate at a bamboo grill and had pork sisig, which is chopped up bits of pork face, pork snout, and pork brains! It was actually delicious.
Saturday, 3/12
No big news today and no pics to accompany. D and I crashed hard at 10 last night and woke up around 8 - a beautiful ten hours of sleep. We had breakfast at our hostel and then wandered into town for some coffee. Mmm, cafe mocha. We wandered back to our hostel to pack and check out and hit the airport around 11, since it requires about a forty-five minute drive. However, once we arrived at the airport, we discovered our 2 o'clock flight had been pushed back to 4, because the first flight was delayed and the airline/airport was so tiny that it only had one plane. So we sat and we waited and ate some cookies for lunch.
The flight was super quick - forty minutes and we were back to Manila. Essentially it went up, cruised for approximately fifteen minutes, and went back down. By this time we were starving for an early dinner, so we headed to a Japanese restaurant that D and her boyfriend frequent, and met up with her boyfriend M there. Food? Delicious. I love maki rolls, okay. I don't think I've had sushi since coming abroad, actually. I will have pics of our delicious foods later up on FB. Also miso soup, mm.
So the story of my Saturday night was a long bus ride from Megamall to Clark Airport around 9pm, meaning I arrived at the airport before midnight, when my flight leaves at 7:40am... (The morning bus doesn't leave until 7, and since it takes approximately two hours to get to the airport, I cannot take that one.)
Little are my life complaints though, after seeing the news this morning doing its full report of the impact of the earthquake tsunami (and resulting nuclear power plant issues) in Japan.
Sunday, 3/13
I am back in Singapore and I really don't want to talk about it. Let me shower and pass out, please and thank you.
Thank you D for making my Philippines trip as lovely as it was. ♥
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
这感觉 我不知怎麼形容
Yesterday, I had a really good Skype session with J. We talked about everything and nothing and it was a lot like our conversations back when we hung out in person. It was also just really nice to catch up with him and see how easily we slide back into our friendship. He is a lost cause for initiating contact ever and is horrible at staying in touch with people; it used to bother me but now I think I'm resigned to it and am willing to make that first (second, third) nudge because at least I know he'll always be willing, so long as I make that first step.
This also reminds me that I need to make more of an effort with my other friends though. Ahh, let me email or FB or something! I miss them too.
Last night, had dinner out with L & her new fiancé T, plus A and a bunch of L's other friends. We went for dim sum at Din Tai Fung, basement of Paragon on Orchard. Pretty delicious food, an overall really fun time. Ah, I don't always mind being social, you see!
Today, I'm off to the Philippines and the welcoming arms of M and D! What lies I have told you: the Vietnam/Cambodia travel write-up will clearly not be happening before I go.
This also reminds me that I need to make more of an effort with my other friends though. Ahh, let me email or FB or something! I miss them too.
Last night, had dinner out with L & her new fiancé T, plus A and a bunch of L's other friends. We went for dim sum at Din Tai Fung, basement of Paragon on Orchard. Pretty delicious food, an overall really fun time. Ah, I don't always mind being social, you see!
Today, I'm off to the Philippines and the welcoming arms of M and D! What lies I have told you: the Vietnam/Cambodia travel write-up will clearly not be happening before I go.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
the art of day to day living
Friday, I had dinner out with P & her boyfriend and I love them :> They are so sweet and lots of fun and dinner was delicious! We had chwee kueh (yum) and bah ku teh (I am probably misspelling this) which are, respectively, Singaporean style water dumplings (not dumplings at all) and pork rib tea soup. Soooo good. Then we wandered around Jurong Point a bit, which is this gigantic ass mall full of food and shops and energy and each store blasting pop music (whether American or Chinese or Korean).
This weekend I have been recovering from my cold and am more or less better except for this infernal cough. That's been fun! And by fun I mean I finally gave in and bought some fucking medicine - it is the Singaporean equivalent of Theraflu, I guess. Lemon-flavored powdered medicine to which I add hot water and then drink. So that helped a lot with the decongestion and throat pain, but the cough remains. =__=; Ah well, there is only so much I can do, I guess, other than wait it out. I'm still inhaling water and tea at alarming rates.
I will get my shit together for the Philippines! This will require a bank trip at some point, potentially. Oh god, and packing, I should do that before i leave, yeah? Leaving Wednesday though, so I have some time to start making my lists (lists! my lifesavers!).
Lately, it has been so sticky muggy hot that I kind of want to claw my skin off. My ideal temperature range is from 15 - 23 C (57 - 74 F or thereabouts), so this is not a happy Mei. Having a cold in the summer is the worst and in Singapore it is summer all the fucking time, ergo having a cold in Singapore is the worst. Intolerable. I'll go check on the Philippines' weather now.
GOOD SPORTS NEWS: Carolina beat Duke 81-67 for the ACC regular season championship. ♥ We have come so far this season; it is so lovely. Let's go Heels for March Madness. :) Though to be honest I'm not sure how well I'll be able to keep up here in Singapore. In other fabulous sports news, Liverpool routed Man Utd 3-1 at Anfield yesterday with a Kuyt hat trick. Mmm, lovely. Biggest rivalries and some big wins.
This weekend I have been recovering from my cold and am more or less better except for this infernal cough. That's been fun! And by fun I mean I finally gave in and bought some fucking medicine - it is the Singaporean equivalent of Theraflu, I guess. Lemon-flavored powdered medicine to which I add hot water and then drink. So that helped a lot with the decongestion and throat pain, but the cough remains. =__=; Ah well, there is only so much I can do, I guess, other than wait it out. I'm still inhaling water and tea at alarming rates.
I will get my shit together for the Philippines! This will require a bank trip at some point, potentially. Oh god, and packing, I should do that before i leave, yeah? Leaving Wednesday though, so I have some time to start making my lists (lists! my lifesavers!).
Lately, it has been so sticky muggy hot that I kind of want to claw my skin off. My ideal temperature range is from 15 - 23 C (57 - 74 F or thereabouts), so this is not a happy Mei. Having a cold in the summer is the worst and in Singapore it is summer all the fucking time, ergo having a cold in Singapore is the worst. Intolerable. I'll go check on the Philippines' weather now.
GOOD SPORTS NEWS: Carolina beat Duke 81-67 for the ACC regular season championship. ♥ We have come so far this season; it is so lovely. Let's go Heels for March Madness. :) Though to be honest I'm not sure how well I'll be able to keep up here in Singapore. In other fabulous sports news, Liverpool routed Man Utd 3-1 at Anfield yesterday with a Kuyt hat trick. Mmm, lovely. Biggest rivalries and some big wins.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
能不能 给我一分钟 安安静静 跟你沟通
My chronicles of the trip through Vietnam and Cambodia are, in short form, chronicled via photos over on Facebook, part one and part two, for those of you who have access. For those that don't, erm, I am in the middle of uploading the pictures to a public gallery on Picasa and will share that later (sans commentary, unfortunately). Later this week I will attempt to write up a more detailed account of the trip, particularly all the thought-provoking bits and maybe some of the funner bits, if I can dredge up some humor from the midst of my exhaustion.
I am leaving for the Philippines next Wednesday, so I need to get the details sorted out. Mostly I need to figure out how to get from the airport into the city proper and then how to meet up with M and D. After the harrows of that first arrival, I should be fine because I'll be with D and traveling. I confess to being somewhat anxious about this trip because (1) traveling alone, (2) the Philippines are, hmm, not exactly the safest place right now, (3) language barrier potentially, and (4) lack of communicative device with either Mel or Danii. I suppose I can always just use my Singaporean phone because better to rack up some international text charges than be lost forever, right?
I'm a little bit sick - sore throat and a light cough. I expected it, to be honest, since I didn't sleep well for most of the trip, traveling in general is exhausting, and both A and L were getting sick by the end of the trip. I might have pulled through if not for the all-nighter with the papers. So tonight I plan on going to sleep in approximately an hour or so and hopefully I won't get worse than this and will be all better soon.
Plans to meet up with S tomorrow, P on Friday, and G this weekend. Potentially also doing lunch with L and A this week, so that is nice. ♥
I am leaving for the Philippines next Wednesday, so I need to get the details sorted out. Mostly I need to figure out how to get from the airport into the city proper and then how to meet up with M and D. After the harrows of that first arrival, I should be fine because I'll be with D and traveling. I confess to being somewhat anxious about this trip because (1) traveling alone, (2) the Philippines are, hmm, not exactly the safest place right now, (3) language barrier potentially, and (4) lack of communicative device with either Mel or Danii. I suppose I can always just use my Singaporean phone because better to rack up some international text charges than be lost forever, right?
I'm a little bit sick - sore throat and a light cough. I expected it, to be honest, since I didn't sleep well for most of the trip, traveling in general is exhausting, and both A and L were getting sick by the end of the trip. I might have pulled through if not for the all-nighter with the papers. So tonight I plan on going to sleep in approximately an hour or so and hopefully I won't get worse than this and will be all better soon.
Plans to meet up with S tomorrow, P on Friday, and G this weekend. Potentially also doing lunch with L and A this week, so that is nice. ♥
Sunday, February 27, 2011
这站就是我的家
From Vietnam, we have made it safely back to Singapore. In the vein of my fabulous life decisions, I am now left facing an all-nighter in which I must sit at my laptop and string together enough words in vaguely coherent sentences to suffice two essays. We'll see how it goes. I aim to pass, not to win the top grade (hah). My standards have been lowered significantly this semester, I feel, it being both my last semester and a pass/fail semester abroad. I am here for food and travels; school is just the pesky thing in between trips and eating. How annoying.
I had a lot of fun on the trip and we managed to cram a lot into nine days - I will definitely do a write-up of it and some of its highlights. Not until after I manage to get through this night and tomorrow, though. After tomorrow I will post pictures and do write-ups and maybe even dare to catch up on sleep or SJM.
Ahhh okay, off to work I go. So much laundry to do, but even that must be put off until after I make it through tomorrow and these essays. Thank god I have clean clothes to change into though. The little things you didn't know to appreciate until over a week of being dusty and travel weary.
Onward ho. Hope y'all have been well. ♥
I had a lot of fun on the trip and we managed to cram a lot into nine days - I will definitely do a write-up of it and some of its highlights. Not until after I manage to get through this night and tomorrow, though. After tomorrow I will post pictures and do write-ups and maybe even dare to catch up on sleep or SJM.
Ahhh okay, off to work I go. So much laundry to do, but even that must be put off until after I make it through tomorrow and these essays. Thank god I have clean clothes to change into though. The little things you didn't know to appreciate until over a week of being dusty and travel weary.
Onward ho. Hope y'all have been well. ♥
Friday, February 25, 2011
a day at angkor wat
Angkor Wat is gorgeous, impressive, and exhausting to trek through. It is also ridiculously hot and dusty, oh my god. I have lots of pictures though! I will probably be spending my time online trying to write fic and essays instead of uploading them though - at least until I get back. They may be delayed a little bit too then, who knows.
Of note:
- so many Japanese and Korean tourists here! Chinese too. I keep hearing people talk in these various languages I know to varying degrees and it's kind of entertaining - today at Angkor, I listened to the explanation/story of Ramayana in both English and Chinese and was satisfied to discover that they matched up.
- being pale remains a positive/wanted quality in Asian girls by Asian boys, according to some Cambodian boy who chatted me up a bit while I was waiting for the others to get water. "I want a Chinese or Korean or Japanese girlfriend," he said, and I said, "What about a nice Cambodian girl?" But he likes the pretty white skin, he said. So that was, hm, awkward, informative, enlightening, and offensive all at once, I guess. Maybe flattering? Except, dude, I am so brown from the sun, so brown. SUN, WHY MUST YOU BE LIKE THIS.
- must acquire a map before I can write up my travels because I am awful at the names of all these places! We saw Angkor Thom today, so Bayon, Baphoun, and a few other temples, then Angkor Wat. Lots of pictures, as I said.
In other news, seriously I am going to be so fucking broke. I swear my parente budgeted me just enough to pay for housing and eat cheap meals twice a day. Traveling is expensive! Living comfortably and not like I'm on rations in Singapore takes a bit of money too! I'm sorry parents, there will need to be more money borrowed. What's another thousand? /sigh I know SS3 ate up a lot of my money - but that was money I spent mostly before I even got to Singapore... My budget, I am staring at it and I will make it work.
I will go get some juice now and then kill some time until we leave for our dinner/apsara dancing show. o/
Of note:
- so many Japanese and Korean tourists here! Chinese too. I keep hearing people talk in these various languages I know to varying degrees and it's kind of entertaining - today at Angkor, I listened to the explanation/story of Ramayana in both English and Chinese and was satisfied to discover that they matched up.
- being pale remains a positive/wanted quality in Asian girls by Asian boys, according to some Cambodian boy who chatted me up a bit while I was waiting for the others to get water. "I want a Chinese or Korean or Japanese girlfriend," he said, and I said, "What about a nice Cambodian girl?" But he likes the pretty white skin, he said. So that was, hm, awkward, informative, enlightening, and offensive all at once, I guess. Maybe flattering? Except, dude, I am so brown from the sun, so brown. SUN, WHY MUST YOU BE LIKE THIS.
- must acquire a map before I can write up my travels because I am awful at the names of all these places! We saw Angkor Thom today, so Bayon, Baphoun, and a few other temples, then Angkor Wat. Lots of pictures, as I said.
In other news, seriously I am going to be so fucking broke. I swear my parente budgeted me just enough to pay for housing and eat cheap meals twice a day. Traveling is expensive! Living comfortably and not like I'm on rations in Singapore takes a bit of money too! I'm sorry parents, there will need to be more money borrowed. What's another thousand? /sigh I know SS3 ate up a lot of my money - but that was money I spent mostly before I even got to Singapore... My budget, I am staring at it and I will make it work.
I will go get some juice now and then kill some time until we leave for our dinner/apsara dancing show. o/
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
these days of our past
Out of Vietnam and into Cambodia today! Vietnam was relaxing and fun, with a touch of sobering on the last day, when we visited the War Remnants Museum. It was also incredibly thought-provoking, though, to see such a blatant propaganda slant on the presentation of a part of a country's history. It impressed upon me more than ever, as did today's journey through Cambodia's Killing Fields and Toul Sleng Genocide Museum (dealing with the horrors of the Khmer Rouge regime), that history is written by the victors.
I have many thoughts, really I do, but they need to be sorted out a bit first. Ruminated upon and such.
For now, a few comments on the days in Vietnam:
Nha Trang, Vietnam was beachy and gorgeous and so relaxing. With some snorkeling and a party boat with a floating bar too - that was fun. It was quintessential relaxing spring break, which was a nice way to segue into the break, since after that we hit the more sobering parts of the trip.
We returned to Saigon on an overnight sleeper bus (12 hours) and we had adventures in food - not great adventures, sadly. Nha Trang was much better to us in terms of food and drink. I did have delicious fish & pineapple after waiting way too long, bad coffee, and amazing soondubu jjigae (don't judge) that was not authentic but still good after a horrible first-order experience. Whatever. I survived though!
We went to the War Remnants Museum, which was an intellectually surreal experience, because while sobering and tragic (with pictures that made me choke up), the emotional human response is weighed from the other side by how blatant the propaganda political spin on the war is. History is written by the victors and all that. Thought-provoking at the least. Though I think we can all agree, politics aside, that Agent Orange and its effects were truly horrific.
On the bright side, our hostel has been extremely nice and clean and friendly, with lovely free steady wi-fi. Small perks.
We left this morning for a six-hour ride to Phnom Penh, whereupon we embarked on depressing tours, which I mentioned above. And here we are now, with plans to leave early tomorrow morning for Siem Reap. Be in touch.
I have many thoughts, really I do, but they need to be sorted out a bit first. Ruminated upon and such.
For now, a few comments on the days in Vietnam:
Nha Trang, Vietnam was beachy and gorgeous and so relaxing. With some snorkeling and a party boat with a floating bar too - that was fun. It was quintessential relaxing spring break, which was a nice way to segue into the break, since after that we hit the more sobering parts of the trip.
We returned to Saigon on an overnight sleeper bus (12 hours) and we had adventures in food - not great adventures, sadly. Nha Trang was much better to us in terms of food and drink. I did have delicious fish & pineapple after waiting way too long, bad coffee, and amazing soondubu jjigae (don't judge) that was not authentic but still good after a horrible first-order experience. Whatever. I survived though!
We went to the War Remnants Museum, which was an intellectually surreal experience, because while sobering and tragic (with pictures that made me choke up), the emotional human response is weighed from the other side by how blatant the propaganda political spin on the war is. History is written by the victors and all that. Thought-provoking at the least. Though I think we can all agree, politics aside, that Agent Orange and its effects were truly horrific.
On the bright side, our hostel has been extremely nice and clean and friendly, with lovely free steady wi-fi. Small perks.
We left this morning for a six-hour ride to Phnom Penh, whereupon we embarked on depressing tours, which I mentioned above. And here we are now, with plans to leave early tomorrow morning for Siem Reap. Be in touch.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
club music is the soundtrack to this trip
One day boat trip to four different islands was fantastic. Snorkeling, floating bar, boyband live band, white sand beach, and one last island with aquarium! So much fun. Pictures and story later, I'm sure. Something about some boy with a really hot bod, yes. Something about all the free drinks. Something about how I am so not sober right now and having a lot of fun in beautiful Vietnam. ♥ Party hardy, babe.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Tally ho, Vietnam & Cambodia!
Hola, amigos! I'm off on my first out-of-Singapore trip to Vietnam and Cambodia over the course of 18 Feb to 27 Feb. It's our recess week (aka Spring Break) and I'm out here with L and A having a good time - meeting up with the boys in Ho Chi Minh City in a few day then going off to Cambodia. Right now we girls are in Nha Trang, Vietnam, which is this gorgeous (if touristy) beach town on the East Coast. We spent the day lazing around at the beach, with the hot sun tempered by the cool sea breeze. Have I said lately how much I love the ocean? I really do. I have determined I need to live within 3 hours of it no matter where I live - or at least close enough to do a day trip. Does this rule out Beijing? Oh I hope not. It doesn't rule out Singapore for sure.
We have had lots of delicious foods since reaching Singapore - plus a twelve-hour bus ride! Overnight sleeper bus! I have pictures. It was amazing - we got beds! Interestingly bumpy experience; L was up half the night afraid we were going to die. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling we were like caught in the middle of a hurricane. Looking at the window, I determined, nope, no hurricane.
I do have more interesting stories than that - and lovely pictures, I promise! - but really this is not the best time to share them, as I'm on spotty internet in the public hostel area. News and updates after the whole trip!
For now, let me just say, oh my god Torres, you absolute troll, ilu. Singing YNWA for your Chelsea initiation haze? Why are you like this? I knew I've always loved you. ♥
We have had lots of delicious foods since reaching Singapore - plus a twelve-hour bus ride! Overnight sleeper bus! I have pictures. It was amazing - we got beds! Interestingly bumpy experience; L was up half the night afraid we were going to die. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling we were like caught in the middle of a hurricane. Looking at the window, I determined, nope, no hurricane.
I do have more interesting stories than that - and lovely pictures, I promise! - but really this is not the best time to share them, as I'm on spotty internet in the public hostel area. News and updates after the whole trip!
For now, let me just say, oh my god Torres, you absolute troll, ilu. Singing YNWA for your Chelsea initiation haze? Why are you like this? I knew I've always loved you. ♥
Sunday, February 13, 2011
I need to get back to my list-making
I've been trying to work on my midterm papers on and off this weekend, but truth be told it is more off than on as I keep getting distracted. Mind, the distractions are often good and fun, which is why it is so easy to, well, get distracted in the first place.
Yesterday, Residence 3 had a banner-painting competition! Each cluster sent representatives to paint a banner for the theme "My Cluster". I went with my cluster leader XY because, hey, why not? It's a chance to get to know people better, be a little creative in a way law school typically does not allow for, and there was free lunch!
XY and I ended up with this banner, with each pair of flip flops depicting the flag of a nation represented in our cluster. Including the Singaporean flag in the corner on the wall, we had seven countries covered.
And in the end, it turns out we won one of the three grand prizes, for Most Appropriate Theme! Go us. :) That was a lot of fun and then I bonded with XY some more a little later over shared music interests. Oh Singapore, you are good to me in a way I can't really expect in the U.S. I would be happy to move here, live here, work here-- Which means I should really be trying harder with my work, shouldn't I? Make a good impression, reach out to the right people, and start laying a foundation for my future.
I will get on that; but first, back to my papers, with this song on loop.
Oh Cho Kyuhyun, can you sing forever please?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
these barriers are not so rigid as you should think
Yesterday, while booking hostels with L in the morning for our recess week trip to Vietnam & Cambodia, one of the hostel sites asked me for my gender. The options were "Male", "Female", or "Male and Female".
For a moment, I blanked and thought, "Oh my god, Cambodia is shockingly progressive with gender identity. How delightful!"
And then I realized that the "Male and Female" option is representative of a mixed group of guests staying at the hostel, since we'd marked "3 guests", rather than indicative of an individual gender identity.
Ah, well. I suppose I was hoping for too much. One of these days I will be pleasantly surprised.
For a moment, I blanked and thought, "Oh my god, Cambodia is shockingly progressive with gender identity. How delightful!"
And then I realized that the "Male and Female" option is representative of a mixed group of guests staying at the hostel, since we'd marked "3 guests", rather than indicative of an individual gender identity.
Ah, well. I suppose I was hoping for too much. One of these days I will be pleasantly surprised.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
sunday afternoons are best filled with books
This afternoon, I finally got to meet up with D! It makes me so happy to have finally met her in person and we had a good time together. The nice thing about meeting people face-to-face you've already known for years is that there is really no awkwardness because you already know everything about each other, basically.
I dragged her around a bit, getting lost in Bugis on a hunt for bubble tea (I completely misplaced Koi somehow, despite passing it numerous times in the past, so we ended up at Sweet Talk), and then we went shopping at the DC Superheroes store (she got a Green Lantern shirt for her boyfriend; I got a Super Girl/수퍼걸 shirt - how many of you actually get the inside joke?). Next we made stops at Borders, with a break for coffee, and ended at Kinokuniya. I love bookstores, dear lord. They always remind me how much I want to own my own place and have the space and income to fill shelf after shelf with all sorts of books. I dream the big dream, you guys.
Kinokuniya is probably the end-all be-all of my favorite bookstores so far, if not for the ridiculously hiked up prices on English books. Thank you import tariffs. Prices aside, the selection of books available kind of make me want to cry with happiness inside. Thankfully, I did not embarrass myself. Thankfully, I did not go find a copy of The Giving Tree to read in public (another way to guarantee I will embarrass myself by crying in public).
I will get to see D again in March, when I go visit her in the Philippines and we go off on our beach adventure! ♥ I'm looking forward to my many travels, but first I must finish off my writing assignments and then I must make pleading eyes at my parents for more money. Better to be in debt to them than the government, right?
Perhaps I should start advancing my plans to marry a millionaire. Not as easy as Harlequin makes it sound, unfortunately.
I dragged her around a bit, getting lost in Bugis on a hunt for bubble tea (I completely misplaced Koi somehow, despite passing it numerous times in the past, so we ended up at Sweet Talk), and then we went shopping at the DC Superheroes store (she got a Green Lantern shirt for her boyfriend; I got a Super Girl/수퍼걸 shirt - how many of you actually get the inside joke?). Next we made stops at Borders, with a break for coffee, and ended at Kinokuniya. I love bookstores, dear lord. They always remind me how much I want to own my own place and have the space and income to fill shelf after shelf with all sorts of books. I dream the big dream, you guys.
Kinokuniya is probably the end-all be-all of my favorite bookstores so far, if not for the ridiculously hiked up prices on English books. Thank you import tariffs. Prices aside, the selection of books available kind of make me want to cry with happiness inside. Thankfully, I did not embarrass myself. Thankfully, I did not go find a copy of The Giving Tree to read in public (another way to guarantee I will embarrass myself by crying in public).
I will get to see D again in March, when I go visit her in the Philippines and we go off on our beach adventure! ♥ I'm looking forward to my many travels, but first I must finish off my writing assignments and then I must make pleading eyes at my parents for more money. Better to be in debt to them than the government, right?
Perhaps I should start advancing my plans to marry a millionaire. Not as easy as Harlequin makes it sound, unfortunately.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
we all bleed red
On the MRT today, a boy was reading a sports newspaper that featured on the back cover a huge picture of Torres with the words "JUDAS SCUM", which reminded me that I haven't posted about this topic yet.
So Torres transferred from Liverpool to Chelsea, inspiring many mixed or angry feelings on the parts of many people, which is fair. I have thoughts about it, but they really come down to the following: I love and support him a lot and want him to do well, and though I am disappointed (THE NANDO SONG AND NIKE AD NOOO), I understand where this is coming from. But Liverpool is still my team, with or without him, and I'm not going to stop loving or following my team just because he's gone. Maybe I am not doing "fan" properly, without outrage and passionate outcry and wailing and gnashing of teeth, but I'm cool with that. YNWA.
I still want a Torres Spanish NT jersey and a Gerrard LFC jersey. (Good thing I was never interested in a Torres LFC jersey, I guess, but who didn't see this coming since the beginning of the season?)
So Torres transferred from Liverpool to Chelsea, inspiring many mixed or angry feelings on the parts of many people, which is fair. I have thoughts about it, but they really come down to the following: I love and support him a lot and want him to do well, and though I am disappointed (THE NANDO SONG AND NIKE AD NOOO), I understand where this is coming from. But Liverpool is still my team, with or without him, and I'm not going to stop loving or following my team just because he's gone. Maybe I am not doing "fan" properly, without outrage and passionate outcry and wailing and gnashing of teeth, but I'm cool with that. YNWA.
I still want a Torres Spanish NT jersey and a Gerrard LFC jersey. (Good thing I was never interested in a Torres LFC jersey, I guess, but who didn't see this coming since the beginning of the season?)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
welcome to the year of the rabbit
(image pulled from Google)
Happy Lunar New Year!
新年快乐 恭喜发财
Favorite foods/food places so far in Singapore:
- chicken rice on Waterloo (thanks, P!)
- laksa at Penang Kitchen at Coronation Plaza
- 酸辣炒米粉/spicy stir-fried vermicelli with pork near Bugis
- Nutella & strawberry crepes at Plaza Singapura
- 老北京炸酱面/Old Beijing Style jjajangmyeon at PGP food court (or anywhere, really)
- pork chops, peach iced tea at Republic of Steak (need to go back to try their ribeye, oh god)
- Chicken Basil Aoili at Pastamania
- any of the dishes at the Korean food place at Clementi (spicy pork & kimchi fried rice, mm)
- fresh mango juice at Bugis, or anywhere
- wonton noodle soup w/ char siew, anywhere
- all Asian bakeries but especially Bread Talk
- any and all of the 2 vegetable + 1 meat meals, because oh my god the selection is always such good Chinese food ♥
- also, tom yum flavored ramen is surprisingly delicious; I think I just like spicy & sour flavored foods
Food orgasms are my constant state of being in Singapore and I like it that way.
Monday, January 31, 2011
things I should not do in class:
Read damnyouautocorrect.com.
If I start laughing, it might be just a little obvious I'm no longer paying attention to the discussion of real world implications of fraud in virtual worlds. Maybe.
If I start laughing, it might be just a little obvious I'm no longer paying attention to the discussion of real world implications of fraud in virtual worlds. Maybe.
everything is more than it seems
I've had a busy, busy weekend, thus my lack of updating! I have been out and about most of the days away from my computer and the internet until late at night, when I am too busy to update anyway. C is here visiting, so we've been having a lot of fun together. I took her out and around for food and shopping, we met up with B on Friday night to explore Chinatown, and then we did concerts Saturday and Sunday nights, where we met up with all sorts of people, from S to A to G and their assorted friends. Good times were had, and that's a phenomenal understatement. Some things can't quite be put into words.
It was hard to get back into the swing of school today, but I had my 9am class and then met with my professor afterwards for coffee so I could pick his brain or something. He's a really interesting guy. Extremely intelligent and proud of his accomplishments - he's good and he knows it and he knows you know it too, so he sort of expects acknowledgment. It's not as matter-of-fact, the way he talks about it, but it's not aggravating either. I'm not sure how he pulls it off.
In any case, while we were chatting, the topic turned to being Asian in the U.S. and being Asian in Singapore and, inevitably, racism. Then he comes out with this, dry:
"I was in New York last month, and I was at Saks Fifth Avenue shopping. The sales clerk - I couldn't tell if it was racism or just plain rudeness. (It's hard to tell in New York.)"
I snickered because, okay, fair enough. We had a really interesting conversation about free speech, though, and when it gets out of hand, and all sorts of other interesting things. Maybe I will go into academia. Researching and writing about these things seems much more interesting than practicing law itself because, well, you know me: I am the type to over-think and over-analyze, but am less active on the "doing" things side. I could push myself to change that, but academia also seems like a comfortable niche to cultivate that preexisting compunction. We'll see.
It was hard to get back into the swing of school today, but I had my 9am class and then met with my professor afterwards for coffee so I could pick his brain or something. He's a really interesting guy. Extremely intelligent and proud of his accomplishments - he's good and he knows it and he knows you know it too, so he sort of expects acknowledgment. It's not as matter-of-fact, the way he talks about it, but it's not aggravating either. I'm not sure how he pulls it off.
In any case, while we were chatting, the topic turned to being Asian in the U.S. and being Asian in Singapore and, inevitably, racism. Then he comes out with this, dry:
"I was in New York last month, and I was at Saks Fifth Avenue shopping. The sales clerk - I couldn't tell if it was racism or just plain rudeness. (It's hard to tell in New York.)"
I snickered because, okay, fair enough. We had a really interesting conversation about free speech, though, and when it gets out of hand, and all sorts of other interesting things. Maybe I will go into academia. Researching and writing about these things seems much more interesting than practicing law itself because, well, you know me: I am the type to over-think and over-analyze, but am less active on the "doing" things side. I could push myself to change that, but academia also seems like a comfortable niche to cultivate that preexisting compunction. We'll see.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
driven by my stomach
Loving all the Asian food here, don't get me wrong, but I am sort of craving Italian right now, out of the blue. Pasta, tomato sauce, sausage, judicious use of cheese, garlic bread - oh god. I should stop.
(And let's not lie. One of the first things I'm getting once I'm back in the States is a juicy medium ribeye steak. Yes please.)
(And let's not lie. One of the first things I'm getting once I'm back in the States is a juicy medium ribeye steak. Yes please.)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
dancing out on this edge
Monday night was another WashU sponsored dinner, this time at the Asian Civilizations Museum. It was another schmoozing opportunity and I collected a few cards that, honestly speaking, I will probably never use again in my life. Still, an interesting experience. After dinner, A and E and I took the opportunity to stop by the Raffles Hotel where the Singapore Sling was invented and treated ourselves. (Pics on Facebook, as I suppose I shouldn't publicly up pictures of other people without their permission.) Good stuff but oh, pricey indeed.
Tuesday passed in a blur of class (oh angry, impatient, frustrated professor) and nostalgia for Final Fantasy 7. It's a strange nostalgia, considering I've never played the game. Yet I have such love for it - blame Advent Children, I suppose. God, it was gorgeous, and the soundtrack. Oh the soundtrack. I rediscovered my crush on Zack Fair, who to date remains one of my biggest fictional character crushes ever. Do not ask me to explain myself because I'm pretty sure all I could manage would be something along the lines of "alksdghdjf he's just perfect, okay?" (except rendered verbally).
S agrees with me.
S: He is like the most impossibly ideal boyfriend. Minus the dead thing.
Me: :( I AM VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT THE (FICTIONAL) REALITY I LIVE IN.
Today I met up for lunch with (other!) S and (other!) A. We had delicious Hong Kong style dim sum, and milk tea, and milk-and-butter toast, and everything was amazing. I've mentioned how much I love the food here, right? Love it, love it. Then we grabbed coffee and whiled away the afternoon at Starbucks just chatting and being totally ridiculous at each other, much, I'm sure, to the horror of anyone within earshot.
We are all going to the concert on Saturday night! So that should be a lot of fun. C is just about getting on the plane over in New Orleans, ready to fly out here to me and Singapore and the concert. I am looking forward to it. It's going to be an awesome weekend.
And making more travel plans! Got Vietnam & Cambodia settled (end of Feb), looking like Bangkok will be set as well (late April), and now thinking about Taiwan and Indonesia or the Philippines. Indonesia and Taiwan are on the pricier side, so I'm not sure. I'd also like to have travel companions if I went there. The Philippines are cheap! But I need to investigate potential places to stay/people to see... Decisions, decisions. Korea is out, I think. Too pricey, however much I may love it.
Tuesday passed in a blur of class (oh angry, impatient, frustrated professor) and nostalgia for Final Fantasy 7. It's a strange nostalgia, considering I've never played the game. Yet I have such love for it - blame Advent Children, I suppose. God, it was gorgeous, and the soundtrack. Oh the soundtrack. I rediscovered my crush on Zack Fair, who to date remains one of my biggest fictional character crushes ever. Do not ask me to explain myself because I'm pretty sure all I could manage would be something along the lines of "alksdghdjf he's just perfect, okay?" (except rendered verbally).
S agrees with me.
S: He is like the most impossibly ideal boyfriend. Minus the dead thing.
Me: :( I AM VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT THE (FICTIONAL) REALITY I LIVE IN.
Today I met up for lunch with (other!) S and (other!) A. We had delicious Hong Kong style dim sum, and milk tea, and milk-and-butter toast, and everything was amazing. I've mentioned how much I love the food here, right? Love it, love it. Then we grabbed coffee and whiled away the afternoon at Starbucks just chatting and being totally ridiculous at each other, much, I'm sure, to the horror of anyone within earshot.
We are all going to the concert on Saturday night! So that should be a lot of fun. C is just about getting on the plane over in New Orleans, ready to fly out here to me and Singapore and the concert. I am looking forward to it. It's going to be an awesome weekend.
And making more travel plans! Got Vietnam & Cambodia settled (end of Feb), looking like Bangkok will be set as well (late April), and now thinking about Taiwan and Indonesia or the Philippines. Indonesia and Taiwan are on the pricier side, so I'm not sure. I'd also like to have travel companions if I went there. The Philippines are cheap! But I need to investigate potential places to stay/people to see... Decisions, decisions. Korea is out, I think. Too pricey, however much I may love it.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
how to prove that I bleed red?
LFC jerseys, why are you so expensive! I love you but I cannot spend so much on you, particularly since I am hoping for a Gerrard LFC shirt and a Torres Spain shirt. Yes, my biases are evident. Thus the point of displaying them on a shirt, right?
I have been told that Thailand is a good market for cheaper knockoffs. When am I going to Bangkok again? March, I think. Right, on the itinerary: the aquarium and shopping for jerseys.
Unrelated, I'm not a graphic designer at all, but I can be a font geek, oh my god yes.
I have been told that Thailand is a good market for cheaper knockoffs. When am I going to Bangkok again? March, I think. Right, on the itinerary: the aquarium and shopping for jerseys.
Unrelated, I'm not a graphic designer at all, but I can be a font geek, oh my god yes.
welcome to an episode in a life you'll never live
On Friday, I met with P and her boyfriend V at Bugis. I finally had delicious chicken rice! "We've ruined it for you," V told me solemnly, "because this is some of the best. The rest just won't compare." They are both perfectly lovely and fun to spend the afternoon with. We wandered around Bugis shopping a bit and I managed to acquire a pair of shorts and two dresses. Not a bad haul, though at some point in the future I need a bag (something to haul my school stuff in that is less heavy) and potentially a belt...
Friday night, I finally went on the night safari and the Singapore zoo! I went with F and it was pretty fun; there were lions and tigers and bears, oh my. There were bison and giraffes and foxes and wolves; tapirs and rhinos and hippos as well! My only complaint is that all mass public transit in Singapore shuts down around 11 or 12 at night, which is...difficult, I feel. But the cabs are all really cheap (or else it's just that Singapore is so small that you can't really rack up the meter unless you drive in circles), so it's all right. We met with J and A at a hawker center afterwards and chilled a bit with some Carlsberg (Danish! I only know because of its LFC associations) beer.
Saturday, I met with Dean P of our school for lunch, along with A and E (from WashU) and M (who'd done exchange with WashU previously). We had really good laksa, mmm. I'm a fan. We'll have to see if other places do it as well as Penang Kitchen. Anyway, Dean P invited us to an alumni dinner that night at the Marina Bay Sands hotel, so of course we took him up on it. Free food at a swanky restaurant with a chance to schmooze? It is only our obligation as poor, jobless law students.
So we got fancy: boys in suits and me in a really classy red dress, if I do say so myself. I wish I had pictures but you can't pull off upscale classy while brandishing a camera around like a tourist, evidently. Marina Bay Sands evokes Dubai-style opulence and is not so much classy as it is just ostentatious. It is designed to impress and be the very opposite of subtle; it is designed to get as much money from rich foreigners as possible. To that end, I feel as though it's very successful.
Our restaurant, Ku De Ta (I don't think the Singaporean government realizes that said aloud it sounds remarkably similar to coup d'etat), was on the top floor of the hotel (57th). At dinner was Dean P, our school's international relations dean, as well as the dean of the law school, Dean S (and his wife). There were two attorneys from a pretty big Singaporean firm (KCP) who were WashU grads, a former attorney now a client at KCP who was also a WashU alum (and his wife), and three students who had been on exchange at WashU for their LLM.
Dinner was fancy, to say the least. Dean S basically ordered a tasting sample for the table - an assortment of cold dishes and then a stream of hot dishes. Lobster, squid, fish, scallops, beef, pork, chicken, vegetables, etc., all prepared in tiny dishes with careful plating (as seen on Top Chef!). Dessert was strawberry sorbet with a (maybe) passionfruit mousse type thing. It was a little surreal, I thought, but not as surreal as post-dinner, which I'll get to in a bit. Dinner conversation was pretty good, though due to my seating I mostly spoke to the former LLM students (one a current NUS law student, two now associates at KCP).
After dinner, the group got invited to the KCP client's house for - get this - whiskey and cigars. Two of the girls begged off, so in the end it was a group of guys at one of the largest houses I have ever been in (period, not just in Singapore, though who owns houses this big in Singapore?! Everyone lives in high-rise condos!) with their cigars and cigarettes and whiskey. And me and one other girl.
Nothing impressed upon me more than those two hours on that deck of someone clearly rolling in more money than I will ever see in my life how much law (especially in Asia) is still very much a good ol' boys club. We girls were little more than decoration or an ear for an occasional clever quip; entertainment and fond, almost paternalistic amusement when the other girl tried a cigar. How cute, you could practically see the attorneys thinking. I'm not so cynical as to think all law is still this way; I don't want to diminish how far women have managed to come in this profession. But here in Asia and especially at firms specializing in corporate law and litigation, this is the sense I got: Privilege, wealth, and men in charge.
I'm positive the female associates are smart, sharp, capable, and respected. I'm positive it's still the (often though not only white) guys calling the shots at the end of the day. (The client with the million dollar house and the Cuban cigars and fine aged whiskey was Singaporean.) I'm positive all of these people are extremely hard-working. I'm positive they all still enjoy the fine things in life, which is fair - what is life worth if you can't find enjoyment in it?
But these kinds and standards of "fine things" are, I realize, not something I could ever appreciate properly. I can blame my middle-class roots and upbringing, perhaps. For all I moan and joke about finding a rich man to marry myself off to, I'm not sure I could really revel in the luxury of standard "upper class" fineries. (I could enjoy a lot of money, absolutely, but I would enjoy it by buying a lot of food and cute clothes and traveling. I am positively awful about caring about brands.)
I still get defensive about law as a profession because it is not as evil as mainstream culture makes it out to be, but at the same time I have seen facets of what it can be as well, and some of the criticisms have root in truth. I also say, fairly casually and despairingly these days, that I hate law and I don't know why I'm doing it. It's not true. There is a lot of law I dislike, there is a lot of the legal profession I dislike, but there definitely remain areas of law that truly fascinate me (see every topic touched on by my entertainment law class). My interests lie closer to issues touched by public interest law. I don't begrudge the people who enjoy tax law or corporate merger law or what have you, but that is not a life I could have for myself. So I'll miss out on the six figure salaries and the filthy rich clients and the diamond cuff links. It's all right. I couldn't ever be happy in a good ol' boys club anyway.
Maybe I'll go into academics. I made an appointment to pick the brain of my Entertainment law (fashion photographer) professor next week.
Friday night, I finally went on the night safari and the Singapore zoo! I went with F and it was pretty fun; there were lions and tigers and bears, oh my. There were bison and giraffes and foxes and wolves; tapirs and rhinos and hippos as well! My only complaint is that all mass public transit in Singapore shuts down around 11 or 12 at night, which is...difficult, I feel. But the cabs are all really cheap (or else it's just that Singapore is so small that you can't really rack up the meter unless you drive in circles), so it's all right. We met with J and A at a hawker center afterwards and chilled a bit with some Carlsberg (Danish! I only know because of its LFC associations) beer.
Saturday, I met with Dean P of our school for lunch, along with A and E (from WashU) and M (who'd done exchange with WashU previously). We had really good laksa, mmm. I'm a fan. We'll have to see if other places do it as well as Penang Kitchen. Anyway, Dean P invited us to an alumni dinner that night at the Marina Bay Sands hotel, so of course we took him up on it. Free food at a swanky restaurant with a chance to schmooze? It is only our obligation as poor, jobless law students.
So we got fancy: boys in suits and me in a really classy red dress, if I do say so myself. I wish I had pictures but you can't pull off upscale classy while brandishing a camera around like a tourist, evidently. Marina Bay Sands evokes Dubai-style opulence and is not so much classy as it is just ostentatious. It is designed to impress and be the very opposite of subtle; it is designed to get as much money from rich foreigners as possible. To that end, I feel as though it's very successful.
Our restaurant, Ku De Ta (I don't think the Singaporean government realizes that said aloud it sounds remarkably similar to coup d'etat), was on the top floor of the hotel (57th). At dinner was Dean P, our school's international relations dean, as well as the dean of the law school, Dean S (and his wife). There were two attorneys from a pretty big Singaporean firm (KCP) who were WashU grads, a former attorney now a client at KCP who was also a WashU alum (and his wife), and three students who had been on exchange at WashU for their LLM.
Dinner was fancy, to say the least. Dean S basically ordered a tasting sample for the table - an assortment of cold dishes and then a stream of hot dishes. Lobster, squid, fish, scallops, beef, pork, chicken, vegetables, etc., all prepared in tiny dishes with careful plating (as seen on Top Chef!). Dessert was strawberry sorbet with a (maybe) passionfruit mousse type thing. It was a little surreal, I thought, but not as surreal as post-dinner, which I'll get to in a bit. Dinner conversation was pretty good, though due to my seating I mostly spoke to the former LLM students (one a current NUS law student, two now associates at KCP).
After dinner, the group got invited to the KCP client's house for - get this - whiskey and cigars. Two of the girls begged off, so in the end it was a group of guys at one of the largest houses I have ever been in (period, not just in Singapore, though who owns houses this big in Singapore?! Everyone lives in high-rise condos!) with their cigars and cigarettes and whiskey. And me and one other girl.
Nothing impressed upon me more than those two hours on that deck of someone clearly rolling in more money than I will ever see in my life how much law (especially in Asia) is still very much a good ol' boys club. We girls were little more than decoration or an ear for an occasional clever quip; entertainment and fond, almost paternalistic amusement when the other girl tried a cigar. How cute, you could practically see the attorneys thinking. I'm not so cynical as to think all law is still this way; I don't want to diminish how far women have managed to come in this profession. But here in Asia and especially at firms specializing in corporate law and litigation, this is the sense I got: Privilege, wealth, and men in charge.
I'm positive the female associates are smart, sharp, capable, and respected. I'm positive it's still the (often though not only white) guys calling the shots at the end of the day. (The client with the million dollar house and the Cuban cigars and fine aged whiskey was Singaporean.) I'm positive all of these people are extremely hard-working. I'm positive they all still enjoy the fine things in life, which is fair - what is life worth if you can't find enjoyment in it?
But these kinds and standards of "fine things" are, I realize, not something I could ever appreciate properly. I can blame my middle-class roots and upbringing, perhaps. For all I moan and joke about finding a rich man to marry myself off to, I'm not sure I could really revel in the luxury of standard "upper class" fineries. (I could enjoy a lot of money, absolutely, but I would enjoy it by buying a lot of food and cute clothes and traveling. I am positively awful about caring about brands.)
I still get defensive about law as a profession because it is not as evil as mainstream culture makes it out to be, but at the same time I have seen facets of what it can be as well, and some of the criticisms have root in truth. I also say, fairly casually and despairingly these days, that I hate law and I don't know why I'm doing it. It's not true. There is a lot of law I dislike, there is a lot of the legal profession I dislike, but there definitely remain areas of law that truly fascinate me (see every topic touched on by my entertainment law class). My interests lie closer to issues touched by public interest law. I don't begrudge the people who enjoy tax law or corporate merger law or what have you, but that is not a life I could have for myself. So I'll miss out on the six figure salaries and the filthy rich clients and the diamond cuff links. It's all right. I couldn't ever be happy in a good ol' boys club anyway.
Maybe I'll go into academics. I made an appointment to pick the brain of my Entertainment law (fashion photographer) professor next week.
Friday, January 21, 2011
baby just say yes to this
Not sober but I wouldn't say drunk. Comfortably tipsy. I should spend more nights like this, as I am much more mellow and less awkward like this. Drank Carlsberg (oh! Danish brew! LFC sponsor) Special Brew (double the normal alcoholic content apparently) and some Thai beer as well. This was after a pretty fun night at the Singapore Night Safari with F. Then met up with A and J at the West Coast Plaza hawker center. I spent the afternoon at Bugis shopping with P (who is tiny and pretty and omg I love her) and her boyfriend. It was a lot of fun. I also finally had really delicious chicken rice! Shopping and eating are the Singaporean staples and I am all over that. Look at me blend in with the crowd, yo. A continues, by the way, to be a good guy, concerned if I'm okay and constantly checking in and buying me water too. Thanks, A! Comfortably tipsy is a good place to be. I'm all right. But I appreciate it!
Booking tickets to Vietnam (and Cambodia) for break! Is this the best idea while tipsy? We shall see!
Booking tickets to Vietnam (and Cambodia) for break! Is this the best idea while tipsy? We shall see!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
oh right, I'm here for school
This is the long-promised post about classes! I'll start backwards, chronologically.
My Thursday class is Human Rights in Asia, which is a fascinating topic. Unfortunately, there is a positively wretched amount of reading for it, which goes a long way in dampening my enthusiasm. The professor is incredibly knowledgeable as well, but oh man does she have trouble delivering her wealth of knowledge to the class in a clear and concise manner. She doesn't use slides but rather lectures at us, scribbles on the whiteboard in a haphazard manner, starts lists but doesn't finish them, and loses herself on tangents without finding her way back to the main point. It makes me so aggravated, oh god. The J part of the INFJ in me is just shouting for a properly outlined and structured approach to the class, with every nicely delineated and neatly tied together. Or at the very least some sort of logical flow. Do I ask for too much?
But really, the topic is fascinating. We've touched so far on broad issues like how to define human rights law in Asia (Who's a human? Slaves didn't used to be. When does life start? What are rights? Are they positive or negative? How are they different from needs or interests? What is a law? Where is Asia? When is the Middle East? Etc.) and the cultural relativism argument (Human rights are a form of Western cultural imperialism; other places in the world can take different apprroaches to human rights, etc.).
Tuesday mornings I have Legal Issues in Virtual Worlds, which I originally thought would be something like Internet law. Something like that indeed, but more narrow: it's actually about rules in virtual worlds like Starcraft, World of Warcraft, Maplestory, Second Life, SIMs, etc. and how laws in the real world affect those virtual worlds. It's the geekiest class ever, but so hilarious. At least half the class are trufax gamers, so it's kind of surreal and definitely amusing to have a forty-some-year-old female professor lecture us about the intricacies of games probably half the class is far more intimately familiar with. (Granted, she probably knows the legal issues far better.)
This past week we had guest lecturer who focused on the cultural aspects of gaming rather than the legal aspects, and introduced her lecture with talk about the growth of the Asian entertainment market. She touched on the Korean wave and included examples such as Korean dramas, kpop, a Thai movie set in Korea, and a Filipino boy band staged to copy kpop's style. It was hilarious to see all the Asians in class grinning and acknowledging these familiar pop culture influences, while all the foreign exchange students stared in bafflement. "Wonder Girls? Never heard of them," their expressions seemed to say.
On Mondays, I have two classes! In the afternoon I have Law & Development in China, which is another interesting class that is difficult to suffer through because, oh my god, the professor's monotone voice. He also does that awful thing where he continually poses questions at students so we listen to uninformed and waffling opinions for twenty minutes without learning anything on a topic that would take the professor five minutes to sum up. I hate why-don't-you-tell-me-your-uninformed-opinions discussion time; my 1L property class was nothing but that and clearly I learned no property law, as it was my worst grade in law school to date.
Thankfully, I have a little background in this due to my seminar in Chinese law with Minzner last year. My final in this class is a paper on China; I plan on making heavy use of either my seminar paper (legal status of homosexuality in China over time) or my Note (development of a sustainable legal NGO in China). I.e., the research I already put into both.
Monday mornings is my favorite class ever ever ever. Ever. It's Entertainment Law: Pop Iconography & Celebrity. It is basically every single subject in law I'm interested in combined all togetther: copyright law, trademark law, contract law, freedom of speech issues, right to privacy, right to publicity, etc. And, of course, huge amounts of pop culture. I'm a pro. This is my happy place. If this class were a person, I would have dirtyfilthyawesome sex with it. I don't even care that it's at 9am on a Monday morning; it fills me with such glee. Everything about it is interesting to me, plus we get loads of pictures and videos as lecture visual aids.
On top of all this? PROFESSOR, OH PROFESSOR. He is young and pretty cute (I guess?? I dunno, I am not personally attracted to him, but objectively I think he is pretty good-looking?) and smart: law degree at Melbourne, masters at Harvard, Ph.D. from Melbourne, and now teaching at NUS. What else? ALSO A FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER. Why do I find this absolutely hilarious? Probably because those two careers are such a strange match. I don't know anything about photography, but man, can I just say that he takes a lot of pictures of very attractive shirtless men? (There are women too! They are clothed.)
And a bonus note of pure geekery: OH MY GOD HIS SLIDES ARE SO DELICIOUSLY CLEAN AND WELL ORGANIZED AND PRETTILY FORMATTED AND UNF NOT TOO MUCH TEXT, NOT TOO MANY MESSY PICTURES PILED TO THE EDGES, GREAT COLOR SCHEME, GOD IT'S LIKE A POWERPOINT ORGASM. Seriously. YOu have no idea how many hideous powerpoints I've seen in my academic career. His are amazing. The cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, I suppose you could say.
Now to fill in more background info: the law faculty has a separate campus from the main one where most everyone lives. There's a free direct shuttle from the main campus to the law campus, which takes about 20-30 minutes (depending on traffic). There's a canteen on the law campus where I eat lunch typically Mondays and Tuesdays since I'm there; the selection is decent, I suppose, but definitely cheap, which goes a long way. Also: coffee is 70 cents and fills me with joy and caffeine.
The other exchange students on the whole are all pretty chill, pretty nice people. Generally they seem to enjoy clubbing and drinking more than I ever will (but that's just me, I've an old woman and an introvert; I prefer my quiet outings with smaller groups), and sometimes I'm not sure they're at all interested in seeing the "real" Singapore as much as just having a good time in all the tourist traps and ex-pat spots, but to each their own, right? So long as they're having a good time and I'm having a good time, whatever.
Oh fashion-photog!prof, I am going to email you and meet with you and have coffee and basically make you tell me how to get into your field or possibly your job. /CRANKS UP THE CHARISMA
My Thursday class is Human Rights in Asia, which is a fascinating topic. Unfortunately, there is a positively wretched amount of reading for it, which goes a long way in dampening my enthusiasm. The professor is incredibly knowledgeable as well, but oh man does she have trouble delivering her wealth of knowledge to the class in a clear and concise manner. She doesn't use slides but rather lectures at us, scribbles on the whiteboard in a haphazard manner, starts lists but doesn't finish them, and loses herself on tangents without finding her way back to the main point. It makes me so aggravated, oh god. The J part of the INFJ in me is just shouting for a properly outlined and structured approach to the class, with every nicely delineated and neatly tied together. Or at the very least some sort of logical flow. Do I ask for too much?
But really, the topic is fascinating. We've touched so far on broad issues like how to define human rights law in Asia (Who's a human? Slaves didn't used to be. When does life start? What are rights? Are they positive or negative? How are they different from needs or interests? What is a law? Where is Asia? When is the Middle East? Etc.) and the cultural relativism argument (Human rights are a form of Western cultural imperialism; other places in the world can take different apprroaches to human rights, etc.).
Tuesday mornings I have Legal Issues in Virtual Worlds, which I originally thought would be something like Internet law. Something like that indeed, but more narrow: it's actually about rules in virtual worlds like Starcraft, World of Warcraft, Maplestory, Second Life, SIMs, etc. and how laws in the real world affect those virtual worlds. It's the geekiest class ever, but so hilarious. At least half the class are trufax gamers, so it's kind of surreal and definitely amusing to have a forty-some-year-old female professor lecture us about the intricacies of games probably half the class is far more intimately familiar with. (Granted, she probably knows the legal issues far better.)
This past week we had guest lecturer who focused on the cultural aspects of gaming rather than the legal aspects, and introduced her lecture with talk about the growth of the Asian entertainment market. She touched on the Korean wave and included examples such as Korean dramas, kpop, a Thai movie set in Korea, and a Filipino boy band staged to copy kpop's style. It was hilarious to see all the Asians in class grinning and acknowledging these familiar pop culture influences, while all the foreign exchange students stared in bafflement. "Wonder Girls? Never heard of them," their expressions seemed to say.
On Mondays, I have two classes! In the afternoon I have Law & Development in China, which is another interesting class that is difficult to suffer through because, oh my god, the professor's monotone voice. He also does that awful thing where he continually poses questions at students so we listen to uninformed and waffling opinions for twenty minutes without learning anything on a topic that would take the professor five minutes to sum up. I hate why-don't-you-tell-me-your-uninformed-opinions discussion time; my 1L property class was nothing but that and clearly I learned no property law, as it was my worst grade in law school to date.
Thankfully, I have a little background in this due to my seminar in Chinese law with Minzner last year. My final in this class is a paper on China; I plan on making heavy use of either my seminar paper (legal status of homosexuality in China over time) or my Note (development of a sustainable legal NGO in China). I.e., the research I already put into both.
Monday mornings is my favorite class ever ever ever. Ever. It's Entertainment Law: Pop Iconography & Celebrity. It is basically every single subject in law I'm interested in combined all togetther: copyright law, trademark law, contract law, freedom of speech issues, right to privacy, right to publicity, etc. And, of course, huge amounts of pop culture. I'm a pro. This is my happy place. If this class were a person, I would have dirtyfilthyawesome sex with it. I don't even care that it's at 9am on a Monday morning; it fills me with such glee. Everything about it is interesting to me, plus we get loads of pictures and videos as lecture visual aids.
On top of all this? PROFESSOR, OH PROFESSOR. He is young and pretty cute (I guess?? I dunno, I am not personally attracted to him, but objectively I think he is pretty good-looking?) and smart: law degree at Melbourne, masters at Harvard, Ph.D. from Melbourne, and now teaching at NUS. What else? ALSO A FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER. Why do I find this absolutely hilarious? Probably because those two careers are such a strange match. I don't know anything about photography, but man, can I just say that he takes a lot of pictures of very attractive shirtless men? (There are women too! They are clothed.)
And a bonus note of pure geekery: OH MY GOD HIS SLIDES ARE SO DELICIOUSLY CLEAN AND WELL ORGANIZED AND PRETTILY FORMATTED AND UNF NOT TOO MUCH TEXT, NOT TOO MANY MESSY PICTURES PILED TO THE EDGES, GREAT COLOR SCHEME, GOD IT'S LIKE A POWERPOINT ORGASM. Seriously. YOu have no idea how many hideous powerpoints I've seen in my academic career. His are amazing. The cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, I suppose you could say.
Now to fill in more background info: the law faculty has a separate campus from the main one where most everyone lives. There's a free direct shuttle from the main campus to the law campus, which takes about 20-30 minutes (depending on traffic). There's a canteen on the law campus where I eat lunch typically Mondays and Tuesdays since I'm there; the selection is decent, I suppose, but definitely cheap, which goes a long way. Also: coffee is 70 cents and fills me with joy and caffeine.
The other exchange students on the whole are all pretty chill, pretty nice people. Generally they seem to enjoy clubbing and drinking more than I ever will (but that's just me, I've an old woman and an introvert; I prefer my quiet outings with smaller groups), and sometimes I'm not sure they're at all interested in seeing the "real" Singapore as much as just having a good time in all the tourist traps and ex-pat spots, but to each their own, right? So long as they're having a good time and I'm having a good time, whatever.
Oh fashion-photog!prof, I am going to email you and meet with you and have coffee and basically make you tell me how to get into your field or possibly your job. /CRANKS UP THE CHARISMA
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