things I should not do in class:

Read damnyouautocorrect.com.

If I start laughing, it might be just a little obvious I'm no longer paying attention to the discussion of real world implications of fraud in virtual worlds. Maybe.

everything is more than it seems

I've had a busy, busy weekend, thus my lack of updating! I have been out and about most of the days away from my computer and the internet until late at night, when I am too busy to update anyway. C is here visiting, so we've been having a lot of fun together. I took her out and around for food and shopping, we met up with B on Friday night to explore Chinatown, and then we did concerts Saturday and Sunday nights, where we met up with all sorts of people, from S to A to G and their assorted friends. Good times were had, and that's a phenomenal understatement. Some things can't quite be put into words.

It was hard to get back into the swing of school today, but I had my 9am class and then met with my professor afterwards for coffee so I could pick his brain or something. He's a really interesting guy. Extremely intelligent and proud of his accomplishments - he's good and he knows it and he knows you know it too, so he sort of expects acknowledgment. It's not as matter-of-fact, the way he talks about it, but it's not aggravating either. I'm not sure how he pulls it off.

In any case, while we were chatting, the topic turned to being Asian in the U.S. and being Asian in Singapore and, inevitably, racism. Then he comes out with this, dry:

"I was in New York last month, and I was at Saks Fifth Avenue shopping. The sales clerk - I couldn't tell if it was racism or just plain rudeness. (It's hard to tell in New York.)"

I snickered because, okay, fair enough. We had a really interesting conversation about free speech, though, and when it gets out of hand, and all sorts of other interesting things. Maybe I will go into academia. Researching and writing about these things seems much more interesting than practicing law itself because, well, you know me: I am the type to over-think and over-analyze, but am less active on the "doing" things side. I could push myself to change that, but academia also seems like a comfortable niche to cultivate that preexisting compunction. We'll see.

driven by my stomach

Loving all the Asian food here, don't get me wrong, but I am sort of craving Italian right now, out of the blue. Pasta, tomato sauce, sausage, judicious use of cheese, garlic bread - oh god. I should stop.

(And let's not lie. One of the first things I'm getting once I'm back in the States is a juicy medium ribeye steak. Yes please.)

dancing out on this edge

Monday night was another WashU sponsored dinner, this time at the Asian Civilizations Museum. It was another schmoozing opportunity and I collected a few cards that, honestly speaking, I will probably never use again in my life. Still, an interesting experience. After dinner, A and E and I took the opportunity to stop by the Raffles Hotel where the Singapore Sling was invented and treated ourselves. (Pics on Facebook, as I suppose I shouldn't publicly up pictures of other people without their permission.) Good stuff but oh, pricey indeed.

Tuesday passed in a blur of class (oh angry, impatient, frustrated professor) and nostalgia for Final Fantasy 7. It's a strange nostalgia, considering I've never played the game. Yet I have such love for it - blame Advent Children, I suppose. God, it was gorgeous, and the soundtrack. Oh the soundtrack. I rediscovered my crush on Zack Fair, who to date remains one of my biggest fictional character crushes ever. Do not ask me to explain myself because I'm pretty sure all I could manage would be something along the lines of "alksdghdjf he's just perfect, okay?" (except rendered verbally).

S agrees with me.

S: He is like the most impossibly ideal boyfriend. Minus the dead thing.
Me: :( I AM VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT THE (FICTIONAL) REALITY I LIVE IN.

Today I met up for lunch with (other!) S and (other!) A. We had delicious Hong Kong style dim sum, and milk tea, and milk-and-butter toast, and everything was amazing. I've mentioned how much I love the food here, right? Love it, love it. Then we grabbed coffee and whiled away the afternoon at Starbucks just chatting and being totally ridiculous at each other, much, I'm sure, to the horror of anyone within earshot.

We are all going to the concert on Saturday night! So that should be a lot of fun. C is just about getting on the plane over in New Orleans, ready to fly out here to me and Singapore and the concert. I am looking forward to it. It's going to be an awesome weekend.

And making more travel plans! Got Vietnam & Cambodia settled (end of Feb), looking like Bangkok will be set as well (late April), and now thinking about Taiwan and Indonesia or the Philippines. Indonesia and Taiwan are on the pricier side, so I'm not sure. I'd also like to have travel companions if I went there. The Philippines are cheap! But I need to investigate potential places to stay/people to see... Decisions, decisions. Korea is out, I think. Too pricey, however much I may love it.

how to prove that I bleed red?

LFC jerseys, why are you so expensive! I love you but I cannot spend so much on you, particularly since I am hoping for a Gerrard LFC shirt and a Torres Spain shirt. Yes, my biases are evident. Thus the point of displaying them on a shirt, right?

I have been told that Thailand is a good market for cheaper knockoffs. When am I going to Bangkok again? March, I think. Right, on the itinerary: the aquarium and shopping for jerseys.

Unrelated, I'm not a graphic designer at all, but I can be a font geek, oh my god yes.

welcome to an episode in a life you'll never live

On Friday, I met with P and her boyfriend V at Bugis. I finally had delicious chicken rice! "We've ruined it for you," V told me solemnly, "because this is some of the best. The rest just won't compare." They are both perfectly lovely and fun to spend the afternoon with. We wandered around Bugis shopping a bit and I managed to acquire a pair of shorts and two dresses. Not a bad haul, though at some point in the future I need a bag (something to haul my school stuff in that is less heavy) and potentially a belt...

Friday night, I finally went on the night safari and the Singapore zoo! I went with F and it was pretty fun; there were lions and tigers and bears, oh my. There were bison and giraffes and foxes and wolves; tapirs and rhinos and hippos as well! My only complaint is that all mass public transit in Singapore shuts down around 11 or 12 at night, which is...difficult, I feel. But the cabs are all really cheap (or else it's just that Singapore is so small that you can't really rack up the meter unless you drive in circles), so it's all right. We met with J and A at a hawker center afterwards and chilled a bit with some Carlsberg (Danish! I only know because of its LFC associations) beer.

Saturday, I met with Dean P of our school for lunch, along with A and E (from WashU) and M (who'd done exchange with WashU previously). We had really good laksa, mmm. I'm a fan. We'll have to see if other places do it as well as Penang Kitchen. Anyway, Dean P invited us to an alumni dinner that night at the Marina Bay Sands hotel, so of course we took him up on it. Free food at a swanky restaurant with a chance to schmooze? It is only our obligation as poor, jobless law students.

So we got fancy: boys in suits and me in a really classy red dress, if I do say so myself. I wish I had pictures but you can't pull off upscale classy while brandishing a camera around like a tourist, evidently. Marina Bay Sands evokes Dubai-style opulence and is not so much classy as it is just ostentatious. It is designed to impress and be the very opposite of subtle; it is designed to get as much money from rich foreigners as possible. To that end, I feel as though it's very successful.

Our restaurant, Ku De Ta (I don't think the Singaporean government realizes that said aloud it sounds remarkably similar to coup d'etat), was on the top floor of the hotel (57th). At dinner was Dean P, our school's international relations dean, as well as the dean of the law school, Dean S (and his wife). There were two attorneys from a pretty big Singaporean firm (KCP) who were WashU grads, a former attorney now a client at KCP who was also a WashU alum (and his wife), and three students who had been on exchange at WashU for their LLM.

Dinner was fancy, to say the least. Dean S basically ordered a tasting sample for the table - an assortment of cold dishes and then a stream of hot dishes. Lobster, squid, fish, scallops, beef, pork, chicken, vegetables, etc., all prepared in tiny dishes with careful plating (as seen on Top Chef!). Dessert was strawberry sorbet with a (maybe) passionfruit mousse type thing. It was a little surreal, I thought, but not as surreal as post-dinner, which I'll get to in a bit. Dinner conversation was pretty good, though due to my seating I mostly spoke to the former LLM students (one a current NUS law student, two now associates at KCP).

After dinner, the group got invited to the KCP client's house for - get this - whiskey and cigars. Two of the girls begged off, so in the end it was a group of guys at one of the largest houses I have ever been in (period, not just in Singapore, though who owns houses this big in Singapore?! Everyone lives in high-rise condos!) with their cigars and cigarettes and whiskey. And me and one other girl.

Nothing impressed upon me more than those two hours on that deck of someone clearly rolling in more money than I will ever see in my life how much law (especially in Asia) is still very much a good ol' boys club. We girls were little more than decoration or an ear for an occasional clever quip; entertainment and fond, almost paternalistic amusement when the other girl tried a cigar. How cute, you could practically see the attorneys thinking. I'm not so cynical as to think all law is still this way; I don't want to diminish how far women have managed to come in this profession. But here in Asia and especially at firms specializing in corporate law and litigation, this is the sense I got: Privilege, wealth, and men in charge.

I'm positive the female associates are smart, sharp, capable, and respected. I'm positive it's still the (often though not only white) guys calling the shots at the end of the day. (The client with the million dollar house and the Cuban cigars and fine aged whiskey was Singaporean.) I'm positive all of these people are extremely hard-working. I'm positive they all still enjoy the fine things in life, which is fair - what is life worth if you can't find enjoyment in it?

But these kinds and standards of "fine things" are, I realize, not something I could ever appreciate properly. I can blame my middle-class roots and upbringing, perhaps. For all I moan and joke about finding a rich man to marry myself off to, I'm not sure I could really revel in the luxury of standard "upper class" fineries. (I could enjoy a lot of money, absolutely, but I would enjoy it by buying a lot of food and cute clothes and traveling. I am positively awful about caring about brands.)

I still get defensive about law as a profession because it is not as evil as mainstream culture makes it out to be, but at the same time I have seen facets of what it can be as well, and some of the criticisms have root in truth. I also say, fairly casually and despairingly these days, that I hate law and I don't know why I'm doing it. It's not true. There is a lot of law I dislike, there is a lot of the legal profession I dislike, but there definitely remain areas of law that truly fascinate me (see every topic touched on by my entertainment law class). My interests lie closer to issues touched by public interest law. I don't begrudge the people who enjoy tax law or corporate merger law or what have you, but that is not a life I could have for myself. So I'll miss out on the six figure salaries and the filthy rich clients and the diamond cuff links. It's all right. I couldn't ever be happy in a good ol' boys club anyway.

Maybe I'll go into academics. I made an appointment to pick the brain of my Entertainment law (fashion photographer) professor next week.

baby just say yes to this

Not sober but I wouldn't say drunk. Comfortably tipsy. I should spend more nights like this, as I am much more mellow and less awkward like this. Drank Carlsberg (oh! Danish brew! LFC sponsor) Special Brew (double the normal alcoholic content apparently) and some Thai beer as well. This was after a pretty fun night at the Singapore Night Safari with F. Then met up with A and J at the West Coast Plaza hawker center. I spent the afternoon at Bugis shopping with P (who is tiny and pretty and omg I love her) and her boyfriend. It was a lot of fun. I also finally had really delicious chicken rice! Shopping and eating are the Singaporean staples and I am all over that. Look at me blend in with the crowd, yo. A continues, by the way, to be a good guy, concerned if I'm okay and constantly checking in and buying me water too. Thanks, A! Comfortably tipsy is a good place to be. I'm all right. But I appreciate it!

Booking tickets to Vietnam (and Cambodia) for break! Is this the best idea while tipsy? We shall see!

oh right, I'm here for school

This is the long-promised post about classes! I'll start backwards, chronologically.

My Thursday class is Human Rights in Asia, which is a fascinating topic. Unfortunately, there is a positively wretched amount of reading for it, which goes a long way in dampening my enthusiasm. The professor is incredibly knowledgeable as well, but oh man does she have trouble delivering her wealth of knowledge to the class in a clear and concise manner. She doesn't use slides but rather lectures at us, scribbles on the whiteboard in a haphazard manner, starts lists but doesn't finish them, and loses herself on tangents without finding her way back to the main point. It makes me so aggravated, oh god. The J part of the INFJ in me is just shouting for a properly outlined and structured approach to the class, with every nicely delineated and neatly tied together. Or at the very least some sort of logical flow. Do I ask for too much?

But really, the topic is fascinating. We've touched so far on broad issues like how to define human rights law in Asia (Who's a human? Slaves didn't used to be. When does life start? What are rights? Are they positive or negative? How are they different from needs or interests? What is a law? Where is Asia? When is the Middle East? Etc.) and the cultural relativism argument (Human rights are a form of Western cultural imperialism; other places in the world can take different apprroaches to human rights, etc.).

Tuesday mornings I have Legal Issues in Virtual Worlds, which I originally thought would be something like Internet law. Something like that indeed, but more narrow: it's actually about rules in virtual worlds like Starcraft, World of Warcraft, Maplestory, Second Life, SIMs, etc. and how laws in the real world affect those virtual worlds. It's the geekiest class ever, but so hilarious. At least half the class are trufax gamers, so it's kind of surreal and definitely amusing to have a forty-some-year-old female professor lecture us about the intricacies of games probably half the class is far more intimately familiar with. (Granted, she probably knows the legal issues far better.)

This past week we had guest lecturer who focused on the cultural aspects of gaming rather than the legal aspects, and introduced her lecture with talk about the growth of the Asian entertainment market. She touched on the Korean wave and included examples such as Korean dramas, kpop, a Thai movie set in Korea, and a Filipino boy band staged to copy kpop's style. It was hilarious to see all the Asians in class grinning and acknowledging these familiar pop culture influences, while all the foreign exchange students stared in bafflement. "Wonder Girls? Never heard of them," their expressions seemed to say.

On Mondays, I have two classes! In the afternoon I have Law & Development in China, which is another interesting class that is difficult to suffer through because, oh my god, the professor's monotone voice. He also does that awful thing where he continually poses questions at students so we listen to uninformed and waffling opinions for twenty minutes without learning anything on a topic that would take the professor five minutes to sum up. I hate why-don't-you-tell-me-your-uninformed-opinions discussion time; my 1L property class was nothing but that and clearly I learned no property law, as it was my worst grade in law school to date.

Thankfully, I have a little background in this due to my seminar in Chinese law with Minzner last year. My final in this class is a paper on China; I plan on making heavy use of either my seminar paper (legal status of homosexuality in China over time) or my Note (development of a sustainable legal NGO in China). I.e., the research I already put into both.

Monday mornings is my favorite class ever ever ever. Ever. It's Entertainment Law: Pop Iconography & Celebrity. It is basically every single subject in law I'm interested in combined all togetther: copyright law, trademark law, contract law, freedom of speech issues, right to privacy, right to publicity, etc. And, of course, huge amounts of pop culture. I'm a pro. This is my happy place. If this class were a person, I would have dirtyfilthyawesome sex with it. I don't even care that it's at 9am on a Monday morning; it fills me with such glee. Everything about it is interesting to me, plus we get loads of pictures and videos as lecture visual aids.

On top of all this? PROFESSOR, OH PROFESSOR. He is young and pretty cute (I guess?? I dunno, I am not personally attracted to him, but objectively I think he is pretty good-looking?) and smart: law degree at Melbourne, masters at Harvard, Ph.D. from Melbourne, and now teaching at NUS. What else? ALSO A FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER. Why do I find this absolutely hilarious? Probably because those two careers are such a strange match. I don't know anything about photography, but man, can I just say that he takes a lot of pictures of very attractive shirtless men? (There are women too! They are clothed.)

And a bonus note of pure geekery: OH MY GOD HIS SLIDES ARE SO DELICIOUSLY CLEAN AND WELL ORGANIZED AND PRETTILY FORMATTED AND UNF NOT TOO MUCH TEXT, NOT TOO MANY MESSY PICTURES PILED TO THE EDGES, GREAT COLOR SCHEME, GOD IT'S LIKE A POWERPOINT ORGASM. Seriously. YOu have no idea how many hideous powerpoints I've seen in my academic career. His are amazing. The cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, I suppose you could say.

Now to fill in more background info: the law faculty has a separate campus from the main one where most everyone lives. There's a free direct shuttle from the main campus to the law campus, which takes about 20-30 minutes (depending on traffic). There's a canteen on the law campus where I eat lunch typically Mondays and Tuesdays since I'm there; the selection is decent, I suppose, but definitely cheap, which goes a long way. Also: coffee is 70 cents and fills me with joy and caffeine.

The other exchange students on the whole are all pretty chill, pretty nice people. Generally they seem to enjoy clubbing and drinking more than I ever will (but that's just me, I've an old woman and an introvert; I prefer my quiet outings with smaller groups), and sometimes I'm not sure they're at all interested in seeing the "real" Singapore as much as just having a good time in all the tourist traps and ex-pat spots, but to each their own, right? So long as they're having a good time and I'm having a good time, whatever.

Oh fashion-photog!prof, I am going to email you and meet with you and have coffee and basically make you tell me how to get into your field or possibly your job. /CRANKS UP THE CHARISMA

cosmic balance decided i'd had it too good lately

Some people are assholes. Some people are idiots. I fall in one or both of the categories, thank you spectacularly terrible morning. The day was saved from continuing in that horrible vein by G, whom I hung out with at Orchard (lunch, Comic Station, Kinokuniya, Starbucks) and the National Museum, where we saw the Pompeii exhibit.

Last night I branched out and met new exchange students, ooh la la. L, whom I'd met already, suggested we do dinner in Chinatown and then hit up the comedy club he'd been recommended in Clark Quay. I thought it would be fun, so I agreed, and met V and T (both Canadians, because NUS is apparently crawling with Canadian exchange students - who knew?). We did a fun dinner game in which each person was sent to buy a dish to share with the group in order to push us all into being more adventurous with our food; it ended well, with many delicious things. Popiah, in particular, I'm a fan of. T's choice of Szechuan wontons was really delicious too.

The comedy club is called Comedy Masala and is a weekly Tuesday night open-mic stand-up at Club Home. Apparently a ton of NUS students came and we formed the largest group Comedy Masala's had since their opening (16 weeks ago). Good crowd. Loud music. Cheap (relatively) drinks. The MC was Pakistani and very funny; the 9 comedians were a range of funny to not so funny (closer to oh-god-embarrassment-squick), all guys. Some Indian, some Singaporean, one Malay, and one well-known white dude to wrap up the night. Overall a pretty fun experience, except it ran late, but L and V wanted food on our way back, so we had prata (which was good), and then it was even later!

Why does no one believe me when I tell them I'm really old inside? Like, a 50-year-old woman who needs to be in bed by a sensible hour and get up early without feeling like she wants to die? I rolled out of bed this morning to finish up student pass stuff, only to be completely tied up in Singapore's affinity for red tape (in triplicate) and my own stupidity. So that was unfun, on top of feeling physically like death. Emotionally not so hot either.

On the bright side, kaya toast with butter is delicious, and G is perfectly lovely. And C looks like she may very well be able to come to Singapore to visit, which I'm thrilled about.

The grimmer news is that I still think some people are assholes (no, I told you, the "no cursing" thing was never going to work out, not even a little bit) and I have so much, so much to do. And my emotional equilibrium has not returned, to say the least.

I love to end on a bright note, yeah? Bright note: good thing my room's only on the fourth floor!

what are these words coming out of my mouth?

I realized lately that I have a pretty casually foul mouth. My shoes hurt me? I don't go "ow!", I go "motherfucker!" When things annoy me, I don't say, "This aggravates me," I say, "This shit is fucking unacceptable." I feel like I should clean up my language and make more use of, you know, the many varied words the English language offers! Creativity, I used to have it. Now it's the same four-letter words over and over.

I really should censor myself more, though, because it's gotten to the point where this stuff comes out accidentally in front of people it shouldn't because I am so accustomed to it. Bad idea. (Though it's always funny when people are like "oh Mei! I never expected such language from you!" Inevitably, I think, "Man, you don't (fucking) know me at all, do you?")

I will take a pledge to not use foul language for at least a week! Let's see how successful I am, or if I'll owe myself a lot of money at 20c for each expletive - bets on how much change I'll have laundry by the end of this week?

i know what it's like to be a fan, trust me

Last night, Liverpool played Everton in the second Merseyside Derby of the season. A and I met up with some undergrad exchange kids from England (one of them is really cute and tall and blond and of course has the accent, but he's, like, 19 and ALSO AN EVERTON FAN /JUDGES FOREVER) to watch the game, but it turns out the bar we planned on going to misled us because they didn't actually have access to the game. So back to our individual dorms to stream the game we went.

So I'm watching the game and on Gchat talking with A about it, and chatting with some other people too. This conversation happens:

MEI: I'm watching football! :D
F: NFL playoff?
MEI: No. I hate the NFL. I meant soccer.
F: Why do you hate America?

What? :( Ffffuuuu.

As I told D, it's not so much that I hate the NFL (I pay attention, sometimes, sporadically and without much investment and in a shallow way - the Rams's QB is cute, seriously) as I love Liverpool and its slogans and songs (and players, yes). Don't you dare think all girls only pay attention to sports for the "hot guys". It may be true for some girls, it may be true for some sports (i.e., me and the NFL), but guys do not have the market cornered on wild and irrational investment in a team and how they do.

Speaking of such, WAY TO DRAW EVERTON, FFS LIVERPOOL. Up at the half, and then letting Everton score 2 within the first ten minutes of the second half, god. Liverpool, sometimes I don't know why I love you. It's a hard question to answer whenever anyone (like the British boy from last night) asks, "Why Liverpool?"

Because I like having my heart broken and my blood pressure through the roof, obviously.

At least I'll never walk alone, despite that.

point and counterpoint in the people and places you know

We intended to go on the night safari last night but, alas, weather intervened in the form of a lengthy bout of rain. So instead the crowd (F, A, B, R, R, and I - hey we make a band name! FABRRi, the next biggest pop act) grabbed some dinner and decided to go to Blu Jazz Café to meet up with some of R's friends. But of course there was going to be pre-gaming, so to A's tiny single room we went, collecting along with us E and N. N is a girl. The rest are all boys. Did I mention recently that I seem to have some trouble reaching out and getting to know the exchange girls here? N and I bonded over that a bit! Strange how boys are easier to hang out with, really. But to balance out all this testosterone and crudeness, all the people I already know in Singapore are girls (S, F, G, P) and I spend time with them solo, apart from exchange activities. So it works out well for me, I think.

A put on his laptop speakers and cranked up the music, we broke out the rum and coke, the vodka and tonic, and I got comfortably tipsy. I did keep in mind D's advice from ages ago to never be drunk surrounded only by guys, even if they are supposed to be guy friends, or decent guys, or people you should be able to trust not to take advantage of you. "Should" is such a...loaded word, really. Many people are nothing they "should" be.

We cabbed over to Blu Jazz Café later and had met up with more people, had some more beer, chatted, etc. It was a really nice mild night, breezy and not as humid as usual. The live band was pretty good, the singer was fun, and R and B and I danced a bit inside while the rest hung about our table outside and commenced social interaction. Other R and N had quite a bit of flirtation going on, even though apparently N already has a boyfriend? (And is probably at least three years older than R, but that stops no one these days, am I right?)

I had a good time but we got back late, and I spent some time thinking people were trying to set me up with F, which - vehemently - no thank you. No more Asian boys with misogynistic attitudes, not even ones with a good job at a good NY law firm lined up after graduation. Apparently I am not all that shallow. (Or perhaps I am. He is also not nearly tall enough for my tastes.)

God, other D explained to me that the main reasons guys go on study abroad programs is to 1) drink and 2) hook up. So far, most of these guys have proved him right. A and B being the lovely exceptions. A gets along with everyone, is very laid-back and friendly, and can get rowdy in his own way, but underneath it all he's a really good guy: respectful of women too. He apologized a few times throughout the night that the guys were making hooker jokes, were being crude about wanting to hook up, etc. He can still join in occasionally, but he at least recognizes that such jokes can be and are legitimately offensive. It means a lot. B, also, is a really good guy. Quieter, younger than A, but very interested and willing to try new foods and see new places and not at all here just to drink, party, club, and hook-up. If he wants to meet people, it's to get to know them, not to just get wasted with them, and it's refreshing.

(This is a tough blogpost to write without mentioning names. But I maintain I will keep it this way for now. Pictures on Facebook and, well, you may be able to figure out enough based on the tags.)

So that happened last night. Today, I met up with F for lunch at ION (Singapore's largest mall) and had amazing char siew wonton noodles for lunch (and for only 3.50, which is a positive steal in this Orchard Road pure-touristy-prices mall). We then made our way to Singapore's Botanic Gardens, which were leafy and rich and so, so green. Beautiful, peaceful, and really lovely. A spot of rain almost soaked us but - being prepared - we had our umbrellas. I felt terrible for the people who had spread out under the sun for picnics, only to get drenched with little warning.

The weather cleared up fairly quickly though, and we explored the entire gardens, essentially. It was a really nice break from the Singapore and counterpoint to the more social/people/drinking scene from last night.

Making plans for travel now, contemplating dinner, and weighing how much I want to do class readings versus manga readings. I suspect I know which will win out. I suspect I still need to make that post about my classes and professors. I have not forgotten!

my book about being mistaken for a hooker (yes it's happened more than once)

This afternoon F and I decided to explore Geylang, Singapore's infamous red light district. I didn't expect much in terms of scandalous people or behavior since it was 2 in the afternoon, but apparently he expected otherwise. Boys, honestly. Every girl he passed he would eye quickly and covertly, then turn to me and mutter under his breath, "So do you think she's a--?"

"No," I said on more than on occasion, "I think she's just a normal girl walking down the street!"

"But it's the red light district!" he protested.

"It's also two in the afternoon!"

"Then what are they doing, if they're not out?"

"Oh, I don't know," I said, throwing my hands in the air, "sleeping?" Honest to God, people, this is why I will never date Asian guys again. They can be decent to hang out with but there is so much underlying misogyny and homophobia in their outlook on life. No thanks.

We made a pit stop for food and F joked that he was wary of the food here - it might have STDs. "Are you kidding," I said. "I highly doubt they have sex with the food and then sell it. Don't be ridiculous."

Apparently I am not so good with sex-worker jokes anymore, if I ever was. My sense of humor, I seem to have lost it somewhere.

The entire area is not as bad as it might sound. Definitely more run-down than the wealthier, glitzier parts of Singapore, it boasts a lot of tiny food shops (hot pot, Korean barbecue, more hawker centers with traditional Singaporean food) and massage parlors and shady KTVs. It is obviously not the most reputable part of town and I have no doubt that some not-entirely-legitimate businesses may occur at night, but it's entirely safe and not terribly interesting on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

A little later, we passed a girl getting out of a taxi in short shorts and high heels. "She must be," F said with conviction after we pass her. I rolled my eyes.

"You can't just assume every girl wearing high heels is a hooker."

And then he started laughing because he finally realized that I was in heels (and jeans, mind) and had been the entire walking trip through the area. "No wonder all the guys were looking at you. They think you're one."

Sadly, this was true. There's nothing quite like being looked up and down by dirty old men as you pass them by in the middle of the red light district, even when you are wearing more clothes than the guy you're with. Nothing like visiting the red light district to realize how terrible guys can be.

I faked amusement, because it's what you do, I guess. How do you reply to that? "Yes, you think it's hilarious that other people think I'm a hooker. I think it's hilarious too!"

I originally thought this was going to be a sort of funny retelling of my afternoon adventures, but it turns out it's really just an unfunny retelling of a not-terrible but far from great experience with misogyny and, yeah, I'm gonna say it - rape culture.

Good times, y'all. Good times. I'm going to put this afternoon out of mind now that I've complained about it and hope that tonight's plans for the night safari go better.

i've never claimed to be anything but biased

Let the record show that Beijing-style 炸酱面 will always be better than Korean-style 짜장면. Such was dinner, delicious.

life on the wild side

Following class and dinner with G (who is tiny - I actually felt, for once in my life, like the awkward, taller one!), some of the exchange guys wanted to hang out. "Casual," said F. "No clubbing. We'll just sit somewhere on campus and drink."

"Sure," I said, because I have an old soul and clubbing is not for me, generally. Post-agreement, I began to wonder whether NUS was a dry campus. I knew we weren't allowed alcohol inside the dorms, but I wasn't sure about on campus in general.

Yet around 10:30PM, I trekked out to the bus stop to await the few and far inbetween buses that might take me down to F's residence hall. I had examined the campus map and knew there was a stop directly in front of his building. I was prepared.

Or so I thought. Sadly, the various campus maps posted around, while indicating the location of bus stops, does not actually indicate the route the bus takes. I guessed wrong. I got off early. I was in a deserted parking lot lit by a stray street light and the lights of the looming building behind me - School of Computing, it said. "Fuck," I said. "I don't even know where the hell I am." (Which was a lie - clearly I was at the School of Computing.)

And so I crossed the barren parking lot towards the street in the belief that if you just follow a street long enough, it will take you somewhere useful. And so it did: it brought me to a map, which indicated that I should continue down the hill in order to find the dorm where I was originally supposed to end up.

Finally, after that minor adventure, I met up with F and B and their case of beer from the 7/11 just outside of campus. "Let us drink," said they, and found us a corner of a different deserted parking lot to sit in while drinking our German beer. We were willing to take the risks of drinking on campus, oh yes, but not to push so far as to find a building in which to drink because buildings, they have security.

A eventually joined up with us and we all migrated to the bus stop in front of F's dorm to sit and drink and talk. It was about half an hour into this when A suddenly exclaimed, under his breath, "Cops, cops!" and frantically shoved his beer can behind him, out of sight. We rearranged in muted panic and sat in silence as the cop car pulled by slowly, on patrol. Two feet past us, it stopped. We held our breaths. It backed up. We stared at it. It turned down a different street.

"Holy shit," said A, "I thought we were about to get arrested and then caned."

"Nah," said F, laughing in relief. "We'd give Mei over to pay the price."

"Excuse me," said I, "I'll have you know only men get caned in Singapore." And so it's true, as backed by the fount of knowledge that is Wikipedia.

Though the consequences would undoubtedly not even come close to caning, it's something to joke about, I suppose. It's hard to imagine that they'd do much to one or two errant students, especially if we're international exchange and can claim ignorance as defense for almost everything, whether it's drinking shitty beer in shady parking lots or sneaking a non-resident into a resident-hall dining hall. Did you know they required you to sign in your name, room #, and ID before serving you your free dining hall food? I found out when I got in line and lied on that paper, followed closely by F.

Singapore makes rebels out of all of us.

Well-fed rebels, at least. After our close call, we walked out of campus to a nearby 24-hour eatery, where I got a mini-Beijing breakfast of 油条豆浆 (hot soy milk + fried dough stick). God it was good. Then A and I proceeded to walk off our food by walking halfway across campus back to PGP, as buses quit running at 11.

It's 2AM and I have not yet been arrested - for drinking, or stealing residents-only food, or soliciting anyone through windows. It's a good night. And it's time for bed.

MISSION Shoe Shopping: success!

I spent the day out yesterday with S - Korean food for lunch (두부 찌개, can we talk about how delicious that was? Okay, it was ridiculously delicious, this place made excellent food), and then Marina Square for some shopping. I've been told over and again by Singaporeans (and people who live here) that, "Oh, Singapore's kind of boring, really. All we do is eat and shop." Really? All you do? I don't have a problem at all with this. I feel like could live with eating and snacking and drinking coffee/bubble tea/juice and then walking it all off as I shop around - somehow. I will pull through.

S is a total sweetheart and we had a lot of fun. She's thinking about a Korea trip next month and was perusing winter clothing because, unlike Singapore, Korea actually gets a bit cold during the winter months. I was looking at shoes because there is nothing more I loathe than shoe-shopping in the States, but it is slightly easier in Asia. Even then, I have to tell you, my feet are about a size too small than the smallest size offered. I managed, however, to find two pairs of shoes that were both cute and affordable, so now I have my glitzy flip fops that can withstand all sudden rain showers as per Singapore's norm, and a pair of heels. Because a girl always needs more heels. When she is me and my height anyway.





We chatted the entire afternoon about Singapore and about kpop, which I had left behind, damn it. Yet she is stirring these banked fires of interest once again. I'm not sure if I can resist, especially with an SJM comeback scheduled for this month or so. Not so deeply buried in my heart is this undying love for some of these boys.

That aside, we stopped by a Korean supermarket to stock up on snacks and grabbed dinner at a Japanese fast food place - Yoshinoya, which was pretty good. I didn't feel like KFC. A lot of the Western exchange students have been despairing about eating Asian food every meal, every single day, and have been talking about craving a burger. I suppose I'm lucky enough that I'm accustomed to eating Asian food all the time and it only makes me happy how much variety of Asian food there is available in Singapore. My love for rice and noodles are limitless. Not to say I couldn't do with burger or a waffle or something once in a while, but for the most part I am happy with what I have. (Plus, Western food tends to be far more expensive...)

Today: laundry, Top Chef episode, class reading, class! As you can see, my schedule is fast resembling every other typical, ordinary day back in the States with school in session. I need to start planning these trips out of the country!

what singapore do you see through your lens?

A list of places I would like to visit while I'm in SE Asia this semester, in no particular order:

1. Bangkok, Thailand
2. Cambodia
3. Vietnam
4. Bali, Indonesia
5. Hong Kong
6. Taiwan
7. Malaysia

To be honest, HK I would not be terribly bothered if I could not get to, as I've been before. It's more that I have friends there now (R among them), and it would be nice to see them again and be shown around, to see the city without the baggage of family. Taiwan I could probably also suffice without, as it is not entirely dissimilar to China. I would really like to visit the first four on the list, however. Malaysia I am not quite sure where I stand at the moment, aside from passing curiosity and belief that it should be visited if only for no other reason than it is so close.

One of the exchange students (from the U.S., Northwestern Law) continues to compare Singapore and every other city to New York. "Singapore is so vanilla," he said tonight. "Nothing stands out. There's no personality."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Oh," I said after a moment, grinning to take the edge off my somewhat offended bewilderment. "You're one of those people. The ones who are so in love with New York. I know people like that. None of them are actually from New York."

"But that's the great thing, people are from everywhere!"

I don't think he realized the irony of that statement while standing on a bus in Singapore surrounded by, well, people from everywhere, right after he had dismissed Singapore as not diverse enough to his NYC tastes.

As with so many things in life, it's really all in how you look at it. It's your attitude and perspective that matters the most. It takes a special kind of perspective to walk through Singapore and find it boring and vanilla and uninteresting, I feel.

the little details build a bigger picture

Before I left for Singapore, I had a dentist appointment. The assistant who was charged with taking x-rays exclaimed, "Oh my god, you have such a small mouth!" The sad but true fact is that the first thing that came into my head was, "Well, clearly I am not destined for pro-blowjobs. What a tragedy." I guess the life of a hooker is not for me - at least not a successful one. I also am lacking in the boobage and ass areas, you see.

Though I am feeling slightly better about that in Singapore. Here I am not short! Being as curvy as a stick is not that uncommon either! I am actually about average height, which is shocking. I imagine the international students from Sweden and Holland that I've met here (who are 5'7"+) feel quite the towering giant in crowds, what with their abilities to see over a sea of heads.

This first week was a bit of frantic errand-running and adjustment period, but I think I have more or less settled in. I've got my phone and my bank account, got my student ID and my public transit card. I know how to get to my classes and how to get to the canteen, and I'm all moved into my dorm room. It's a single with a washbasin, which at first I thought was not much since, oh god, sharing a bathroom with a hall - I haven't ever done that. I only lived in the dorms my first year at uni and then we had suites, so we only shared a bathroom between four rooms (eight girs total). Then I moved into apartments where, you know, private bathrooms. Bliss. I'm still not looking forward to communal showers, but I have come to appreciate how helpful it is to have a sink/running water in the room. I can brush my teeth and fall into bed in one fell swoop.

These are the more tedious miscellany of my trip here. I plan on talking more about classes and food and people, too, when I am feeling less lazy. (I never quite stop feeling lazy, see, so I can only await times when the feeling is not as strong as other times.) I was also distracted hunting down and rereading bits of my summer 2009 travel blog detailing my stay in Beijing. I suspect a slightly different go around this time.

mei in singapore

...after spending half my life on planes, I swear. 2 hours from Raleigh to Detroit, 4 hour layover, 12 hours from Detroit to Tokyo, 2.5 hour layover, 7.5 hours from Tokyo to Singapore. I'm pretty sure it totally fucked up my sleep schedule/body cycles and now I will just feel like death perpetually. Anyhow, J picked me up at the airport and I spent some time at her family's place before moving into the dorms today. Settling in pretty well; classes tomorrow!

IT IS VERY HOT. Arriving last night reminded me of arriving at Beijing in the summer. It's so much more humid/tropical than Beijing could ever be though; much more foliage around too. And they drive on the left! Oh former British colonies...

I could see myself really happy in Singapore in the future, beyond just these four months. It's got a lot to offer and genuinely the best of both Western and Eastern worlds. We did a walking tour yesterday to a Buddhist temple and a Hindu shrine, which were next to each other, and down the street from a Catholic church. There is so much genuine intermingling of cultures here, despite the U.S.'s perpetual claim to diversity. I suppose what it comes down to is far less de facto segregation. They are definitely all in the Pro columns for Singapore, alongside the delicious, cheap, variegated foods and drinks (steak and tapas right alongside Asian desserts and delicious weird foods! so much coffee and real Chinese tea!), the public transportation system, the cleanliness, the opportunity to use my Chinese, the greenery, the beaches (I'm assuming, as I haven't seen them yet), the accessibility of things on the internet, and the sun showers. I don't know if I've ever mentioned how much I love sun showers, but they've been my favorite weather phenomenon since I was a kid.

The cons? Oh, the heat and humidity. They say you get accustomed to it but I can't imagine. Missing out on cute fall and winter styles is only a very small part of it - boots and scarves and peacoats, I do like them so but really it comes down to whether I can survive the weather.

I actually met up with some international students on Friday - we did the walking tour and then had dinner and then bonded with our student tour group leaders. They're really fun and sweet and enthusiastic - leading the tour groups was all volunteer work (but oh so much unnecessary organization, Singapore; I'm coming to expect this). A lot of the international students are undergrad but there are a few Canadian and US law students on exchange too; we are clearly the older ones in the group. It's all good though, people came from all sorts of interesting places (Denmark, Sweden, New Zealand, Canada, US) but much of the conversation was the standard orientation fare: where are you from, what are you studying, where are you living, why Singapore, etc. I'm suspecting that, much like orientation, you'll end up rarely seeing these people again - the real bonds tend to be established by who you see in class and around more often. It's early yet, anyway. And I'm still only very casually committed - I have plans to meet up with non-exchange students, tyvm. Today I met F for lunch, which was really nice - she's so sweet. I'm excited about hanging out with her more. I also have plans to meet up with G and S later this week.

I'm adjusting still, but I'm slightly less stressed. Once I settle into a routine of sorts, I hope I can be better at keeping in touch with people. Right now I'm just all over the map.

on mothers and their motherly concern

I love my mom but I have a complicated relationship with her (as we all do with our own moms, I feel like). Without plumbing too deeply into our history (which half of you know anyway), allow me to complain that she is driving me up a wall in a very shallow, very Standard Mom way tonight.

I'm more or less done packing for Singapore (aside from things like my computer, which you may have guessed) and am readying myself to be up at 4:30 tomorrow to head to the airport to spend the next 24 hours of my life on a motherfucking plane (hopefully without the motherfucking snakes) or in airport terminals. My mom, in momly fashion, is paranoid about everything. She is positive that I will somehow die before I reach Singapore, or maybe once I get there, because my feet will be cold on the plane, or I will be unable to sleep on the plane, or I will be unable to pay for a trolley to haul my luggage through customs.

"When you go through customs, can you wheel along both your bags?" (This because she thinks I have the strength of a wounded gazelle - or less, probably, since often wounded gazelles can still manage to run a bit. She thinks I have the strength of gently deflating balloon. Fwwoosh, said Mei.) "Maybe you should get a trolley. Oh, airports have trolleys! Make sure to get a trolley," she tells me. Then she remembers how airports try to leech every cent they can out of you. "Oh, wait, what if you need Singapore money to get a trolley? You're only carrying USD. If you have to, convert some money at the airport and then pay for the trolley."

Oh, Mother, I never thought of that!

"Do you know if you have to pay for a trolley in Singapore? Should you convert some money before you go?"

One, how on earth would I know, and two, it's too late.

Seriously, thank you for your concern but your stress is stressing me out. I don't mean to sound unappreciative of her concern because, yeah, it would suck if my mom was like, "Daughter? Going halfway around the world for four months? Doesn't ring a bell. Have fun walking to the airport tomorrow morning!" But honestly, mothers.

You know how they are.

I promise I will not die of dehydration on the plane. I promise I will not take out my money and put it in plain sight on my body and beg for someone to steal it from me. I promise I will not mortally offend J's mom's ancestors back fifteen generations. I promise I will call (via Skype, anyway). I promise I will write (via email). I promise to not die or get beaten by canes.

Love,
your not-completely-incompetent daughter Mei

welcome to your year

Happy New Year!

I don't really celebrate on new year's eve because I'm always in NC and it's always...quiet. A bit isolating. I love my family, but we're not exactly the type to party and drink in celebration. I would do it with friends, but really I have no close friends here except A, and she has her own circle of close friends here because they live here year-round. I just visit. So I usually have a quiet new year's eve, but it's all right. New years tend to depress me a little bit because they remind me of the wasted opportunities in the past year and all that bright shining hope in the new year - that usually ends in disappointment by the end. Because I am still not as proactive and carpe diem as I should be.

But let's not get into that! I had a good day yesterday - I went to visit A in the afternoon in Apex and we hung out. She had a late lunch at Panera while I clasped a vanilla latte to my chest in the raptures of the addicted, and then we whiled the hours away at Borders.

Every time I visit Borders, I wander past the YA shelves and am aghast. Rows and rows of black-bound books with fancy colored font, all about vampires and werewolves and supernatural romances. Those that aren't are about rich boarding schools and fancy parties with lots of drama. And what remains is all historical fiction (i.e., RPF AU or spin-offs of Jane Austen and her works). Apparently, boys have nothing to read. Slim pickings include zombies and GI Joe novelizations. I am left more determined than ever to write a new best-selling YA series involving a prestigious boarding school full of rich girls in pretty dresses having drama about their supernatural boyfriends: vampires, werewolves, leprechauns, centaurs, god knows what else. Yes, it will be highly successful, can't you tell.

Anyway, after leaving Borders, I returned with A to her house and helped make dumplings. Handmade, homemade, etc. The best way to do dumplings, because the frozen stuff does not compare - and I'd know. I ate so many frozen dumplings surviving the last few weeks of school/exams.

Insert thoughts here reflecting on the differences between her family and mine, but they are not bad differences - they are merely differences.

But that is for another time. For now, a new year. Let's be optimistic! My resolutions for 2011 are:

-Have fun in Singapore.
-Be proactive about what I want to do post-graduation.
-Write something original of significant length.
-Be grateful.
-Be happy.